Discussion Suicidal Ideation even on good days

[itsbigbraintime]

So, I've noticed on good days when my depression isnt as bad, and I can feel somewhat normal, I still have thoughts of suicide. Like, I'm in my head planning it out, and thinking things like "yeah what if I just go ahead and drink my SN tonight" or something. Half the time this happens, I'm in a relatively stable mood, and it's really confusing. Does anyone else do this?

 

[Lady Lazarus 2020]

I understand. Good or bad I always think about ctb.

 

[Mizzmini45]

It's always there

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Same. Like I've been doing a lot better since joining but I'm not tossing my sn out. The thoughts still creep in from time to time .

 

[these_days9]

Always.

 

[Ghost2211]

I have good days and bad days. Even on good days it's on my mind, but Less so.

 

[darkghost]

Same. I think about suicide every day.

 

[akrasia]

I totally relate to you. I don't think i'll ever stop thinking about ctbing.

 

[TooLate2582]

Some days are bad. Other days are not as bad.

 

[porfin1234]

It was bizarre. Even at my highest and happiest, I had suicidal ideation but for weirdest reason (feeling intensely alive and wanting to be part of the universe and literally explode with emotions I was feeling).
I'm starting to think it's been a trick all along. No reason. Just how my brain is wired.