Suicidal friend told to be more grateful, want opinions

[tom_46]

What is your opinion on this? My suicidal friend was told to be more "grateful" and that he wasn't grateful enough. Views?

 

[Cathy Ames]

Told by whom? Was that the exact phasing of it as far as you know?

 

[tom_46]

Told by whom? Was that the exact phasing of it as far as you know?

Told by another friend of his, he was just told "he's not grateful enough"

 

[jodes2]

I guess it might be helpful for some people to be more grateful, but it can only be taken so far. Just being grateful doesn't stop the suffering, it just guilts you into sticking around

 

[Zegers]

Maybe he was meaning the typical "other people have it worse" but there are also other people who have it better tho

 

[Cathy Ames]

Told by another friend of his, he was just told "he's not grateful enough"

Okay, then my view is [deleted bad language stuff].

Your friend should make a mental note that this person doesn't know what they're talking about and should not take to heart anything, ANYTHING AT ALL, that this other person tells them. This part isn't really a "view"--more like unsolicited advice.

Having some kind of gratitude practice type thing can be a help (NOT a cure). "You're not grateful enough" is baloney.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I don't think you can force gratitude

 

[narcluciddreams]

What is your opinion on this? My suicidal friend was told to be more "grateful" and that he wasn't grateful enough. Views?

You cannot simply force gratitude and neither can you feel it when your mental state doesn't allow you to. Gratitude can help in depression, but not in suicidal idealization.

 

[Gray Wounds]

I was thankful enough before. But I still tried to kill myself and am trying still. But I am very much grateful. I just can't see the connection between thankfulness to my own sorrows and grief.

Was told this, too, before. I think my reply was something like, "What should I thank you for?" or something.

People say things they do not know the meaning of most of the time, simply to have something to say. Ignore them. Or put them on trial. Whatever works best for you.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Gratitude only goes so far. You can be thankful it's not worse while still wanting or needing more. It's not either-or.

 

[Pluto]

Some people might have some insight about gratitude or perspective during a recovery, but that doesn't make gratitude a strategy for recovery in itself.

Hearing about the suffering of those who have it worse, or the entitlements of those who have it better, can worsen feelings of despair.

 

[Jadzia]

Sounds like toxic positivity

 

[Forever Sleep]

Funnily enough, some of the most positive people I know are very grateful people- or- at least they pretend to be. Still- I'd argue that they their baseline is higher- they are genuinely grateful for life.

If you detest life and resent having it forced upon you in the first place, it's kind of more difficult to the grateful for ANYTHING else that comes with it.

I'm always curious as to exactly WHO we are supposed to be grateful to... Our parents, God, fate (for not making the situation worse). All of those people/ entities gave us life in the first place- which we've established is the root cause of the problem.

Like other people have said- I think gratitude CAN help if it is a genuine feeling but I don't think it can be forced. Plus, it certainly is another way of saying- be grateful you don't have it worse- like some other people. So- not only do you need to be more grateful, you also ought to feel guilty about complaining about your 'precious, abundant' life in the first place.

 

[pauly1963]

What is your opinion on this? My suicidal friend was told to be more "grateful" and that he wasn't grateful enough. Views?

People who make comments to a suicidal person such as " Be more grateful " etc have absolutely no concept of the often severe mental torment that suicidal people have to endure. Such comments NEVER help, and often serve to make things worse.

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that nobody should have to feel grateful, as after all we were forced into this life and we never asked for any of this. Why should we have to feel grateful for having to deal with the burden of existence in a life where factors out of our control largely determine everything. Life could never be a gift, I view it as being a curse. I think that it's best to take no notice of those who push the idea that you must appreciate what you have. Nobody should have to and I would personally only be grateful if I had a peaceful way to finally leave behind this life.