Venting Suicidal despite success

[simonttt]

I have a pretty good life. I have a few close friends, success in my work, money, a good flat, a cat, parents and a sister that love me. I could have more friends easely, I could work 1 week a month if I wanted to. Since I'm 18 my life just improved little to little and it's gonna continue, but the more it's improving the more I want to end it all. It's as if every day and every positive thing proves my point, proves that I'll stay tired no matter what.

1 year ago I had a severe depression, i was used to hitting myself. 5 months ago I almost had a burn-out. In one year a lot of things in my life improved but now I'm here, looking for suicidal methods. I think one day I'll finally do it. I think a lot of people won't understand and I can't blame them, I don't understand it myself.

 

[hearball]

interesting . do you want to talk about it ?

 

[L'absent]

I understand you. Everything you have is not enough to keep you here.

 

[lilah]

i love how you included your cat as part of your success haha

 

[SVEN]

None of these things really scratch where you itch, I guess. Depression is such a grey existence.