Suicidal because I feel like a bad person

[BlueLock]

Does anyone else feel suicidal directly as a consequence of feeling like a bad person?

I'm frequently suicidal for lots of reasons--but it all seems to stem from this feeling of inadequacy, led to me behaving in avoidant and insecure ways. I struggle with empathy, I can't understand my emotions, i'm avoidant, and I have commitment issues, I can't be vulnerable around other people. These are a lot fundamentally bad character traits. And I can't stand it. It feels like the problems I have with myself and the problems I create for myself, won't ever go away because its so fundamentally rooted in me. It's apart of my personality, and personality can't really change. And i'm just too weak of a person to change them, if I could. I don't know the reason why I am this way but I can see clearly it's not working, i'm just a failure/selfish/emotionally immature person and I need to go. I can't take the rejection and I feel like the world would be so much better off without me.

Sorry for rambling there--that's primarily the reason I want to die. But i'd like to know if anyone feels the same.

 

[bankai]

What you are is what you get. Are you hurting anyone? No. Then you are a fantastic person in my opinion and that's the truth. I'm not perfect. I'm close to perfect, but I'm not quite there.

Your feelings are valid. Work on what you can.We're just a bundle of chemistry. Some of us are incomplete.There are a lot of people out there who choose to be mean, cruel and do vicious things. If you're not hurting others, you're already an excellent human being in my opinion.

 

[T-Heart]

I don't feel suicidal about any of it because I just feel like nothing will change, it will just end.

 

[BlueLock]

What you are is what you get. Are you hurting anyone? No. Then you are a fantastic person in my opinion and that's the truth. I'm not perfect. I'm close to perfect, but I'm not quite there.

Your feelings are valid. Work on what you can.We're just a bundle of chemistry. Some of us are incomplete.There are a lot of people out there who choose to be mean, cruel and do vicious things. If you're not hurting others, you're already an excellent human being in my opinion.

This was very reassuring and kind thank you

 

[swankysoup]

What you are is what you get. Are you hurting anyone? No. Then you are a fantastic person in my opinion and that's the truth. I'm not perfect. I'm close to perfect, but I'm not quite there.

Your feelings are valid. Work on what you can.We're just a bundle of chemistry. Some of us are incomplete.There are a lot of people out there who choose to be mean, cruel and do vicious things. If you're not hurting others, you're already an excellent human being in my opinion.

You mean people who consistently choose to hurt others again and again?

 

[bankai]

You mean people who consistently choose to hurt others again and again?

Yes, sociopaths and psychopaths. There are a ton of them all over. People don't give themselves enough credit sometimes. Of course you shouldn't pat yourself on the back just because you're a normal decent person. But being so negative just because you feel your inadequate isn't right.Society has all these expectations on us and we do feel inadequate if we don't live up to them. That being said, if you're not hurting anyone and you're a normal person, then you're also a good person. This already puts you in the top 10 %of people in my opinion.some People are born smart,it doesn't require effort on their part.However, being a good person is something that you choose to be. That deserves more praise.

 

[CentreMid]

Does anyone else feel suicidal directly as a consequence of feeling like a bad person?

I'm frequently suicidal for lots of reasons--but it all seems to stem from this feeling of inadequacy, led to me behaving in avoidant and insecure ways. I struggle with empathy, I can't understand my emotions, i'm avoidant, and I have commitment issues, I can't be vulnerable around other people. These are a lot fundamentally bad character traits. And I can't stand it. It feels like the problems I have with myself and the problems I create for myself, won't ever go away because its so fundamentally rooted in me. It's apart of my personality, and personality can't really change. And i'm just too weak of a person to change them, if I could. I don't know the reason why I am this way but I can see clearly it's not working, i'm just a failure/selfish/emotionally immature person and I need to go. I can't take the rejection and I feel like the world would be so much better off without me.

Sorry for rambling there--that's primarily the reason I want to die. But i'd like to know if anyone feels the same.

Ramble away, that's what we're here for

It sounds like you've had people in your life who've taught you that the core of who you are is inherently 'bad', but as someone who's felt similarly, I don't think that's the case. Even if you do have "objectively bad" traits, I still believe there's still something good in you that others, for whatever reason, refuse to see or acknowledge.

Of course, not having those good parts recognized or validated creates a loop of shame and makes us feel worse. It's a vicious cycle of internalization and being unseen that ultimately hurts you more than anyone else because you're dealing with both external ignorance and self-loathing at the same time.

Not saying you should reevaluate your reasons or anything - if you feel your personal shortcomings are grounds enough to ctb then that's perfectly valid, and we'll support you if that's the path you choose. I just don't think you're all bad, is all.

Hope you're able to find peace, whatever that looks like for you

 

[BlueLock]

Ramble away, that's what we're here for

It sounds like you've had people in your life who've taught you that the core of who you are is inherently 'bad', but as someone who's felt similarly, I don't think that's the case. Even if you do have "objectively bad" traits, I still believe there's still something good in you that others, for whatever reason, refuse to see or acknowledge.

Not saying you should reevaluate your reasons or anything - if you feel your personal shortcomings are grounds enough to ctb then that's perfectly valid, and we'll support you if that's the path you choose. I just don't think you're all bad, is all.

Hope you're able to find peace, whatever that looks like for you

This made me tear up a little thank you