Venting suicidal again

[princexhhn]

I stopped going on here because I "got better" for about… a few months? Has it been years? I don't recall. But here I am again, wanting to kill myself, wishing I'd never been born at all. It's just a cycle at this point. I "get better" and then relapse, reminding myself why I ever tried to kill myself in the first place. My life is turning out to be a joke at this point. Hello again, sasu. At least I can talk here. Life is such a misery… it's a wonder that anybody wants to live.

 

[knickknack81]

Im sorry you are going through this. I too am having an up and down moment where CTB keeps popping up in my head. I dont know what the future has in store for me. Just taking it one day at a time. Just want to say you are not alone in feeling what you are. Life can be very draining at times. Hopefully we have brighter days ahead. We shall see.

 

[tooBadTooLate]

Christ, same. You're not alone in this too. It's funny, how every couple of weeks or days I keep telling myself, "This is it, I'm going to improve myself", and then my circumstances quash that down and I'm back to wanting to CtB. It's been going on for years. Perhaps alcohol poisoning or lung cancer from the tobacco would get me first.

Life is such a misery… it's a wonder that anybody wants to live.

I wonder too. Maybe they're just lucky—of course, I'm jealous of them, how the Dealer gave them a good hand when we got the worst ones...

 

[meltskelt]

Christ, same. You're not alone in this too. It's funny, how every couple of weeks or days I keep telling myself, "This is it, I'm going to improve myself", and then my circumstances quash that down and I'm back to wanting to CtB. It's been going on for years. Perhaps alcohol poisoning or lung cancer from the tobacco would get me first.



I wonder too. Maybe they're just lucky—of course, I'm jealous of them, how the Dealer gave them a good hand when we got the worst ones...

so messed up, I want to be able to just exist without the constant anxiety and depression. It is scary having this many ideas inside your head making you go insane... Oh god, why there is no easy way out????