Venting Sudden burst of compulsion

[istheretrulyalife?]

For the past couple of nights I have been having a sudden burst of motivation to ctb at that exact moment, but the next morning I will wake up fine.

My heart aches a lot from this, and it is happening right now as I'm typing this. I absolutely hate it, but I can't risk telling my therapist about my thoughts of suicide.

I feel miserable, but I just don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to ctb yet but its getting harder to manage my anxiety and stress.

I've tried all sorts of coping methods. Deep breathing, putting ice water on my wrists and face, five things I can see four things I can hear etc.

Its hell, and I may not have it as bad as other people here, but I just wish this could end already.

 

[MrDarkness]

I know the feeling, at night I try to ctb. In the morning I'm fine, im gonna buy a rope some time

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so tiring what you are going through, I understand why you would hate being trapped in that situation. But anyway I wish you the best in whatever happens going forward.

 

[secretsfromthecity]

For the past couple of nights I have been having a sudden burst of motivation to ctb at that exact moment, but the next morning I will wake up fine.

My heart aches a lot from this, and it is happening right now as I'm typing this. I absolutely hate it, but I can't risk telling my therapist about my thoughts of suicide.

I feel miserable, but I just don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to ctb yet but its getting harder to manage my anxiety and stress.

I've tried all sorts of coping methods. Deep breathing, putting ice water on my wrists and face, five things I can see four things I can hear etc.

Its hell, and I may not have it as bad as other people here, but I just wish this could end already.

hydroxyzine is a non addictive drug that really helps with anxiety attacks. can't kill you if u tried to OD either.