Jinnberg
Member
- Apr 23, 2021
- 24
I've been trying to recover for so long but this loneliness is so painful. I can hardly get out of bed without sobbing uncontrollably. I've been severely depressed for so long, I often wonder when it will end.
This sinking feeling in my chest is so unbearable.
The days pass by so quickly, I can feel my life slipping through my fingertips. The experiences and opportunities that I could have had have all passed me by. It's so isolating and I don't know how much more of this I can handle.
If I even so much as attempt to leave the house my family threatens to call the police because they think I'm going to attempt suicide again. I'm an adult and yet I'm still treated like a child who can't make decisions for himself.
They've been monitoring me even more after I got fired from my job. They won't even let me find another one. I'm stuck in this house.
I'd attempt to leave but I know the cops would believe them due to my past record from when I was a teen. It's so disheartening that everyone sees me as some deranged lunatic because I want to die.
I wish my last attempt a month ago succeeded, I wouldn't be in the predicament I'm in right now had that been the case.
I'm sick of the constant guilt tripping from them, I don't owe it to anyone to keep living. This is my life and I choose when it ends. My body is mine and mine alone, my body doesn't belong to anyone else. I am not property. I'm a living breathing person with my own thoughts, feelings, and ambitions.
I've carefully thought over this decision over the course of my life, I've been severely depressed for nearly my entire life. I've been on medication and have tried lots of different of therapies for nearly a decade now. I am tired, I've tried so hard to get better but it only gets worse as the years painfully drag on.
I'm turning 20 this year and its all just passing me by, it's embarrassing to live this way. I wish I was normal, I wish I wasn't so miserable.
I so desperately wish I could enjoy my life and live it to the fullest but I'm afraid that simply isn't in the cards for me.
This sinking feeling in my chest is so unbearable.
The days pass by so quickly, I can feel my life slipping through my fingertips. The experiences and opportunities that I could have had have all passed me by. It's so isolating and I don't know how much more of this I can handle.
If I even so much as attempt to leave the house my family threatens to call the police because they think I'm going to attempt suicide again. I'm an adult and yet I'm still treated like a child who can't make decisions for himself.
They've been monitoring me even more after I got fired from my job. They won't even let me find another one. I'm stuck in this house.
I'd attempt to leave but I know the cops would believe them due to my past record from when I was a teen. It's so disheartening that everyone sees me as some deranged lunatic because I want to die.
I wish my last attempt a month ago succeeded, I wouldn't be in the predicament I'm in right now had that been the case.
I'm sick of the constant guilt tripping from them, I don't owe it to anyone to keep living. This is my life and I choose when it ends. My body is mine and mine alone, my body doesn't belong to anyone else. I am not property. I'm a living breathing person with my own thoughts, feelings, and ambitions.
I've carefully thought over this decision over the course of my life, I've been severely depressed for nearly my entire life. I've been on medication and have tried lots of different of therapies for nearly a decade now. I am tired, I've tried so hard to get better but it only gets worse as the years painfully drag on.
I'm turning 20 this year and its all just passing me by, it's embarrassing to live this way. I wish I was normal, I wish I wasn't so miserable.
I so desperately wish I could enjoy my life and live it to the fullest but I'm afraid that simply isn't in the cards for me.