Stuck can't die

[snooperdooper]

I feel so horrible. Every day is an endless repeating cycle where all I do is exist and yearn and attempt to entertain myself. I tried killing myself and I got so so close only for it to be ripped out of my hands. I don't know what to do I feel stuck. I don't have the motivation or energy to find a way to kill myself and so I just exist. God, it is so hard imagining what my life could've been like and daydreaming about scenarios in which I'm not a complete mess. Does anybody else feel the same way? I don't need sympathy just an acknowledgement that this isn't a unique feeling

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I also feel so trapped in this existence and I always suffer from how I cannot just have the option to die painlessly in an guaranteed way, I'm just always so tired of suffering and I'll always see it as the most torturous, futile burden to exist, I just want to never exist ever again, I also find it so dreadful to exist.