evrchanging
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- Oct 25, 2023
- 17
found stuff that suggested he cheated on me in his search history but i stayed with him because he promised he was just "looking" at those things to cope with what we were going through. i signed a lease with him and a few days after i find his old account with dms trying to meet up with people while we were together, shit feels awful and i love him more than anything but whenever i try to break up it's always a fight. this time i didn't try to stop him from leaving and he left the house, i hope he's okay. these past 2 years have been so painful, i'm not the same person who i was when we started. i moved states away for him. i'm so grateful for him but it hurts so bad, i just want to take the easy way out. if i can't have a life without him then what's the point of living? if we were to never talk again i'd never want another love with anyone else. i'm all alone in this quiet house. he's so bad for me but i want his love more than anything