Venting struggling with my future + CTB rambles

[paroxysm]

i'm 20 years old and already feel like i shouldn't live long. there is nothing for me in this life but mundane materialistic pleasure. i will never be enlightened. i will never escape this hell. i want to CTB but not sure when, i just feel like i'm wasting my life away and should just end it now. i had a bad upbringing and now it's effecting me in everyway onto adulthood. honestly i should just stop caring now there is nothing for me in the future. my future doesn't exist.

 

[アホペンギン]

I understand this feeling, I also possess a similar mindset due to many complications I somehow endured in my childhood until now. One problem in the past is very effective at destroying our quality of life but I can assure you that someday you will find relief from this, however you feel is the best way of doing so for yourself. I wish you the best.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it's really understandable just wishing to be free as existing here certainly can be so dreadful and tiring. But anyway best wishes, in my case the thought existing for much longer always fills me with dread.