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nihilism44

nihilism44

trying my best
May 2, 2021
79
I am not planning to ctb for a little while.. I'd like to try to hold out a little bit longer before I make that decision. I have a small bit of hope left. I would like to have something on hand, though. I was really considering ordering SN.. but something about it just feels off to me. I'm afraid of suffering.. it seems that everyone thinks it is "peaceful" but death by lack of oxygen does not sound peaceful to me. I'm not afraid of pain as much as I am afraid of awareness that I am dying. I have a panic disorder and I know my SI would go into overdrive the minute I feel myself dying. I would rather not have a panic attack while I'm going out. Am I just overthinking it? Or maybe I should look more into ordering N?
 
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Jumping_realms

Jumping_realms

★☆★ ☠️★☆★
Jul 4, 2021
483
It depends how severe your anxiety is toward that, IMO.

With SN, it seems to me, you will know you are dying for sure, but it won't hurt you. If you can't take knowing you're dying, it wouldn't probably be the best idea.
 
Alwaysbadtime

Alwaysbadtime

Enlightened
Jun 28, 2021
1,158
The anticipation before it puts you to sleep is the problem. I hear what you are saying. I think perhaps n is faster to fall asleep. Idk. All ways are shitty. Some faster ends than n or sn, but it's not a sure thing. The internet is great for talking you out of anything.
 
D

depressed21

Member
Jul 7, 2021
17
You also need to consider the reaction of your loved ones. I would not want my family to discover my body
 
nihilism44

nihilism44

trying my best
May 2, 2021
79
You also need to consider the reaction of your loved ones. I would not want my family to discover my body
That is my main concern actually.. not even just them finding my body but the emotional aftermath for them in general. That's what's keeping me here currently. If I do end up doing it, I will make sure that I go out in a hotel room or just anywhere where my loved ones won't have to find me.
 
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coffee

coffee

Peace!
Jul 23, 2021
121
I would choose N but will most likely CBT with SN.
 
Apricity

Apricity

Wizard
Jul 27, 2021
642
I'd prefer N, but can't afford it. I've chosen N² and exit bag. I got almost everything I need online for about $300. Regulator, flow meter, barb fitting, tubing, and 29ft³ of food-grade N². Just need the bag, tape and elastic from Wally World or some other place for cheap.
 
Last edited:
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
I'd prefer N, but can't afford it. I've chosen N² and exit bag. I got almost everything I need online for about $300. Regulator, flow meter, barb fitting, tubing, and 29ft³ of food-grade N². Just need the bag, tape and elastic from Wally World or some other place for cheap.
I'm impressed. Where did you get your N2 tank?
 
ElderRecluse

ElderRecluse

Member
Dec 21, 2021
28
I got a 40 cu ft tank of Argon online from Weldfabulous. According to PPH it will work the same as N2. I could only find mail order N2 available in either tanks that were much larger, or too small.
 
Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
If you think SN is painful, your SI might be strong. Some people CTB by jumping, drowing, and fire.
 
T

Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
If you think SN is painful, your SI might be strong. Some people CTB by jumping, drowing, and fire.
Different type of pain I guess. The idea of having a horrible stomach ache or vomitting might be really off-putting for some people who don't care about breaking bones. Phobias and anxieties aren't rational. I've actually gone off SN after recent goodbye threads where people appear to be suffering a lot. That and it takes too long for my liking. Would consider it in combo with full suspension though.
 
C

chainofcommand

Member
Oct 27, 2021
10
Firearms. The math doesn't lie. Let's be very generous and assume 80%…that doesn't even account for proper technique, caliber, type of round, discipline, etc.
 
T

Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
I know suffocation gets the thumbs down here but I've just ordered the strongest duct tape I could find and I already have handcuffs. I'm looking for lethality, not comfort.
 
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