Venting stressing out, driving test and an anxiety disorder

[fallen.dove]

hi guys, i dont really know where to post this one but i wanted to vent so bad.

ive been postponing to start my driving lessons for so long. i was very scared of being judged and making mistakes while driving w my instructor. i used to get anxiety and panic attacks by just thinking about drivers license and cars. i also wanted to avoid the stress that exams causes etc. 2 years passed and in september i started to consider finally getting my drivers license so i just called one driving school in my city and started my lessons. now im 20, almost 21 and im still very anxious while i think about it and before getting into the car but at least i fought my probably biggest fear..i almost ended my lessons - i only have 3 more (6hrs) and one of them is tomorrow. (im scared af because im still making mistakes *stupid ones* -i keep forgetting for a few seconds what my instructor told me (memory loss ig? i cant tell if i really have that or its just caused by stress *long term* or maybe both?) and i think im still driving on the lines sometimes) im getting closer and closer to my driving test and im scared im gonna fail and just give up even if i didnt gave up after failing theoretical exam three times in a row. i just spent too much money on all of this and i dont want to be in such a stressful situation once again…i think it will be my biggest achievement if i pass this fucking exam which is next week..i really want to pass this in first try…uh im so scared.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

You'll be fine. Hang in there.

 

[fallen.dove]

You'll be fine. Hang in there.

thanks<3 take care

 

[metfan647]

Do you take propranolol? I find it takes the edge off. I'm a 37-year-old loser that cannot yet drive. I've been really wanting to get on with it but this time it's circumstances beyond my control. I had lessons fairly recently and 40mg of Propranolol around 40 mins to an hour before seemed to help.

I also kind of relaxed when I just kept going over the mantra of 'fuck this instructor and his car'. I mean, it's not like I actually wanted to crash it but it was an attempt to play down the worst case scenario. Some instructors are generally just lousy teachers and even worse at reading their learners' emotions. Greed on the part of instructors has kind of ruined the whole experience of learning here in the UK in a lot of different ways.

Re: memory...you'll find when being in that heightened state of anxiety, you might not/won't absorb what you're being told. That is the case for me, at least. My head just totally goes when I get in a state of panic and I won't even recall the mistakes I did seconds prior when the instructor pulls over to do a debrief.

I can't even recall basic parking protocols even after doing them in short succession. The over preoccupation and hypervigilance of other road users and my instructor's perceptions in the moment just seem to shut down my ability to absorb what I'm doing. It's like I'm 'stuck in my head'

 

[haihaihai]

I was in your boat! tried to start working towards my license at 16 and of course didn't actually get it until i turned 18. i dreaded doing those in person lessons, and i suffered a death in the family around that time so i decided to avoid going altogether. my permit expired, yada yada, but i found you could take a 6 hr online course in place of those lessons and to get your permit, so that was great. i'm sorry you feel such anxiety when you get behind the wheel, i felt the same to a degree when i was practicing. i accidentally turned to the opposite lane on an empty street and it sent me into such a spiral. most if not all drivers will tell you that once you get enough practice under your belt, you'll eventually feel more confident and less anxious when driving. that's basic exposure therapy, and it truly works (at least for me).

for your test: take deep breaths, whenever shifting lanes check exaggeratedly, full stop behind the stop sign or enough to where you have enough visibility of the road, drive 5 under the speed limit, and don't be afraid to ask your instructor to repeat themself if needed. don't worry, you'll pass and realize it's easier than you thought.