hahahahhkjsk
burden of senses
- Apr 17, 2026
- 27
idk if anyone noticed my disappearance sorry i tend to go full avoidant when i get overwhelmed and i just idk leave without a trace.
so um.
well written exams tomorrow and after and after 3 day torture chamber afta that ill probably drink or do something stupid
well
Um
idk what to say
but if i feel like i totally flunked the written parts then umm. im going
thas fo sure
since i have 3 subjects, two intermediate and one advanced, the advanced exam's spoken part will be first week of June, anotha two in the second half of June and if i feel like i can salvage my shit then ill max it out with grinding for the spoken part
well um. i got a few things to say ab april 30 that i talked about in my previous threads but idk dont feel like sharing it right now but it was positive
really why i think ctb is the only option is bc im a fucking fraud and i keep finding loopholes in everything and put in the least amount of effort into everything and just scratch my ass in my free time
like i got almost a month off from school to stay at home and study but i didn't do SHIT and if my results reflect that then idk theres no salvation for me bc then it just becomes obvious to everyone that i keep fucking lying to everyone omggg the worst part is that i dont even hide it like idgaf if im found out ill just find a way to lie again but like. this time im gambling with my FUTURE. like this might be my final gamble where i put my entire life on the table and im put up against my own mediocrity and parasite like laziness. idk i really really wanted to utilize my time and study i had all the right plans and everything but i still couldn't bring myself to do it i don't fucking know maybe im just destined to live in this fucking cycle and theres something fundamentally unfixable about me.
funnily enough literally 2 years ago i was like "yea gonna do a buncha shit and achieve as much as i can before these exams and then ctb" but i didn't do shit and the exams are here and im still here omg bruh
so um.
well written exams tomorrow and after and after 3 day torture chamber afta that ill probably drink or do something stupid
well
Um
idk what to say
but if i feel like i totally flunked the written parts then umm. im going
thas fo suresince i have 3 subjects, two intermediate and one advanced, the advanced exam's spoken part will be first week of June, anotha two in the second half of June and if i feel like i can salvage my shit then ill max it out with grinding for the spoken part
well um. i got a few things to say ab april 30 that i talked about in my previous threads but idk dont feel like sharing it right now but it was positive
really why i think ctb is the only option is bc im a fucking fraud and i keep finding loopholes in everything and put in the least amount of effort into everything and just scratch my ass in my free time
like i got almost a month off from school to stay at home and study but i didn't do SHIT and if my results reflect that then idk theres no salvation for me bc then it just becomes obvious to everyone that i keep fucking lying to everyone omggg the worst part is that i dont even hide it like idgaf if im found out ill just find a way to lie again but like. this time im gambling with my FUTURE. like this might be my final gamble where i put my entire life on the table and im put up against my own mediocrity and parasite like laziness. idk i really really wanted to utilize my time and study i had all the right plans and everything but i still couldn't bring myself to do it i don't fucking know maybe im just destined to live in this fucking cycle and theres something fundamentally unfixable about me.funnily enough literally 2 years ago i was like "yea gonna do a buncha shit and achieve as much as i can before these exams and then ctb" but i didn't do shit and the exams are here and im still here
omg bruh
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