I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore, just staying alive? I got a new job recently, so that makes me feel better about myself but, my grades are still shit.
I think a part of me that wants to die is because I can't handle seeing my parents go before me, even if they say the worst thing for a parent is to bury your own child. I already see signs of aging on them, on me too, and it's really too much.
I've been having dreams of ctb, and I'm stuck between whether I want to now or should I wait? It's not as if I dislike living, in fact, I want to live and I want to do things in life I enjoy! I'm just shit at life and I personally feel that my existence is worsening my parents and their lives.
All the stress they have is because of my emotional tantrums. At least I'm lucky enough to be diagnosed and medicated even then… I can't even pass all my courses with A's? I'm getting tired from my new job? I feel like such a burden
I think a part of me that wants to die is because I can't handle seeing my parents go before me, even if they say the worst thing for a parent is to bury your own child. I already see signs of aging on them, on me too, and it's really too much.
I've been having dreams of ctb, and I'm stuck between whether I want to now or should I wait? It's not as if I dislike living, in fact, I want to live and I want to do things in life I enjoy! I'm just shit at life and I personally feel that my existence is worsening my parents and their lives.
All the stress they have is because of my emotional tantrums. At least I'm lucky enough to be diagnosed and medicated even then… I can't even pass all my courses with A's? I'm getting tired from my new job? I feel like such a burden
