Starting to Believe God Exists, and That He Hates Me

[SquidsCuts]

At this point I'm almost starting to believe in something. The way nothing good ever happens to me can't just be some coincidence.
It almost feels like divine intervention how I'm not allowed to feel joy. It's like, wow everyone hates me but even a God? What did I do?
I find myself trying not to think of anything because somehow it always ends up harming me. That's superstitious right?

One example that really gnaws at me right now
I wanted to be brave and go to the movie theatre alone for the first time in my life.
I was the first to book a seat. For two days there was no one. The day before the showing, for some reason, someone decided to book the seat right in front me. We're two in there, and he decided to go RIGHT in front of me.
It just feels malicious. I'm really sensitive usually, but even more so now so it's feels like a double insult, from that person and God for doing it.
I don't even know why I'm capitalizing that word, I guess I'm just scared next somehow my house is gonna catch fire. Please don't jinx it..

I would've been totally fine with other people in the theatre, I actually prefer that because.. being alone scares me. But the fact they chose to put themselves right in front of me really hurts me.
I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I was really excited to watch this movie. I was going to see it in 4dx, and I knew it was the last time I'd be able to see it like that in theatres, so in my heart it was very special.
I'm also short, so people in front of me almost always blocks a bit of the screen.
I cancelled because I was scared they'd be mean to me

I'm just so hurt and I wish someone would say something nice to me

 

[unique pumpkin]

Well I personally don't believe in God but if I had to consider the possibility that there is a God and he hates us ; I would. Considering how cruel and violent the world is and always have been .
But then I believe even if that's the thing, WHY does it matter? Why does God matter or him loving or not loving you? And what we ought to do is to retaliate against this , and do what would make us happy even if it might not go the way we wanted.
And about your wanting to watch the movie by yourself — well you couldn't do anything about that person booking their seat right ahead of you but what you could do was sit somewhere else ( since if the theatre was going to be empty ) and also you gave them the chance to watch it all by themselves.
But well I don't know how uncomfortable you would be being with some stranger or how socially anxious you are (I myself have social anxiety but I won't mind someone sitting next to me unless the try to interact with me )

 

[niki wonoto]

I also feel the same. Ever heard the popular quote: "I think I'm afraid of being happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens."

I don't know why my life is like this now.. even though I've tried to do something, & even when I have good intentions..

It's honestly makes me even a lot much more depressed now..

I wish there's a 'red button' that I could just press, so I can just disappear into nothingness..

- from Indonesia -

 

[itsmeagain]

At this point I'm almost starting to believe in something. The way nothing good ever happens to me can't just be some coincidence.
It almost feels like divine intervention how I'm not allowed to feel joy. It's like, wow everyone hates me but even a God? What did I do?
I find myself trying not to think of anything because somehow it always ends up harming me. That's superstitious right?

One example that really gnaws at me right now
I wanted to be brave and go to the movie theatre alone for the first time in my life.
I was the first to book a seat. For two days there was no one. The day before the showing, for some reason, someone decided to book the seat right in front me. We're two in there, and he decided to go RIGHT in front of me.
It just feels malicious. I'm really sensitive usually, but even more so now so it's feels like a double insult, from that person and God for doing it.
I don't even know why I'm capitalizing that word, I guess I'm just scared next somehow my house is gonna catch fire. Please don't jinx it..

I would've been totally fine with other people in the theatre, I actually prefer that because.. being alone scares me. But the fact they chose to put themselves right in front of me really hurts me.
I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I was really excited to watch this movie. I was going to see it in 4dx, and I knew it was the last time I'd be able to see it like that in theatres, so in my heart it was very special.
I'm also short, so people in front of me almost always blocks a bit of the screen.
I cancelled because I was scared they'd be mean to me

I'm just so hurt and I wish someone would say something nice to me

Oh sweetie. I've made a post on my profile detailing something similar. It's always that insane stroke of luck that only happens to inconvenience you. To ruin the slightest of joys and squander them. It's sickening and I know how you feel.

Maybe we are chosen to absorb bad luck. Maybe there's a god that decides we have to be tortured souls for who knows what reason.

I ask myself every night, why me? Why my luck? From the biggest tragedies to the smallest inconveniences that feel like they have intent wrapped inside of them.

I hope for freedom from it, the shackles of misfortune are heavy.

 

[58Alice85]

Have you cursed the name of Christ many times?
Have you done lots of evil things?
Have you spread atheist ideas or done other things which might infuriate God?
If you have done these things maybe God is indeed messing with you.

 

[Greasyhair]

If you want the religious view point from someone raised religious who hasn't completely managed to cast it off.

The world is test, the world is evil. God doesn't tempt or is he evil, and supposedly we will have our reward in the afterlife if we bear it.

I also want to add that you are brave. As someone who suffers from social anxiety I could never even ponder of doing that. Please take solace at least in that you pushed yourself.

 

[Forever Sleep]

The cinema experience happened to me once too. I was literally the only person in a smaller theatre. Two guys came in and sat directly in front of me. One even remarked to the other- you could have sat anywhere and we're right in front of someone. The even more ridiculous thing was- I didn't move. Lol. To be fair- I could still see ok. Did you move?

I guess to be logical about it- if you chose somewhere in the middle, that's kind of the prime spot but, people are inconsiderate- unfortunately.

Always reminds me of this cartoon:

Google Image Result for https://lookaside.instagram.com/seo/google_widget/crawler/?media_id=3345899749763804203

It is odd that some people seem to be cursed with especially bad luck.

 

[Dark Moon]

I'm starting to think the same, just the way my life is currently and bad experience.