started my dream job and i still feel nothing

[immrw]

devoted my life to studying and doing well in uni, now working at a really prestigious lab. I feel no excitement, no motivation. i kept telling myself depression during uni is normal because who enjoys uni? it'll go away once i graduate and start doing real work.

but no. the depression stayed. the lack of passion stayed. i fantasize about being diagnosed with terminal cancer so i can die without having to ctb. not sure where to go from this point.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've always personally envied those who know they don't have long left here, I think that those with the knowledge that they will soon be gone are fortunate as their only focus is on reducing the suffering they are experiencing, they don't have to struggle in finding a way to die in this anti-suicide society, soon enough death will take them away and this existence won't even be a distant memory for them. But anyway it must be tiring feeling trapped in that situation, existing here certainly is so dreadful.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

If you do not "feel anyting" then it is not your dream job obviously. If you love what you do it's not work and it will fulfil you in each second you are doing it. Work itself isn't a "fulfilment" either when you don't love what you are doing and you do it only because you have to do it.

I'm sorry you have a diagnose of terminal cancer this is horrible but you may be able to get legal assistance to end your personal agony and suffering in a peaceful and dignified way should you wish for that.

I wish you all the best!

 

[immrw]

If you do not "feel anyting" then it is not your dream job obviously.

You're not familiar with depression, obviously. I won't ever "love" what I do— that's the entire point of a mental illness. It's incredibly invalidating for you to say that to someone.

I'm not diagnosed with cancer I said I fantasize about it. Holy hell dude. Take your "wish you all the best" and fk off.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Did you ever feel enthusiasm or passion for the type of work you're doing or the field you're in? Work is a big part of life but there are still areas of life. Are you struggling with any of them in ways that could be contributing to your depression? Have you tried any kind of treatment?