My brain just seems to finally have shut up. I remember hearing that you are not your thoughts. But I've never really gotten that till now. CBT hardly worked for me. When you spend 90% of your time living in your head and having looping thoughts about yourself you tend to think that is what you are that's what the human experience is. Only when the noise stops do you realize it was there in the first place.
Idk if St johns wort is technically a medication or what but it felt easier to start using this than a full-blown antidepressant because my GP just referred me to therapy last time which has a 6-month waiting list in the UK. Whipee, and somehow that's an appropriate response to someone who's expressed they are acutely suicidal and clearly in the midst of a psychotic break. Please make it make sense.
It's hard to express how different life feels now. It's more than a simple change in emotion. It's a radically different perspective on life that I can't put effectively into words. It feels like someone swapped my brain out. That part is actually quite worrying now i'm writing it out. If my thoughts have disappeared have I lost that person who existed before? I feel like a better version of myself though so maybe it's all for the best.
Idk if St johns wort is technically a medication or what but it felt easier to start using this than a full-blown antidepressant because my GP just referred me to therapy last time which has a 6-month waiting list in the UK. Whipee, and somehow that's an appropriate response to someone who's expressed they are acutely suicidal and clearly in the midst of a psychotic break. Please make it make sense.
It's hard to express how different life feels now. It's more than a simple change in emotion. It's a radically different perspective on life that I can't put effectively into words. It feels like someone swapped my brain out. That part is actually quite worrying now i'm writing it out. If my thoughts have disappeared have I lost that person who existed before? I feel like a better version of myself though so maybe it's all for the best.
