Method Square one (VSED journal)

[Jealous Blackheart]

Yesterday, while researching, I learned that SN is a schedule 1 toxic industrial chemical in the country I was born in. That means I can't get it.
Back to square one.
Realizing that once again I had no method and no way out sapped everything out of me. I went back to the methods megathread to see what I had access to. Nothing is ideal but I don't have options. Partial suspension looks like my best bet. I don't even have anywhere to do a pull-up and I'm too tall to use the doorway (already tried). I could try again now that I've read up on the partial method. Even if my situation doesn't allow for it it's still worth a shot.

That was my thought process before I fell asleep last night. I was so out of it today that the entire day had passed before I realized that I haven't had anything to eat or drink in over 24 hours.
I can't remember when my last meal was but I definitely didn't eat anything last night, then I slept, then nothing all day today. I'm already one full day in by accident so I'm considering VSED now. I don't know how long it will take but the worst case scenario is that it will leave me weak. Maybe that'll make the hanging easier?

Anyway, I figured I may as well track the days here in a sort of journal. Whether I complete or fail it may be useful information.

Spoiler: Preface

Preface.
I've heard that this is an unpleasant/unreliable method. The SI factor etc. Here's why I'm not very concerned about those things.

1. When I was a teenager I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. I still don't think I have one personally but it's what the Dr said. Basically, I don't have an issue with not eating. I don't get hangry. I don't even like spending money on food and I think it's a waste that my body needs it.

2. I have a habit of extremes and endurance challenges. For one of my birthdays I did 1000 burpees, I've rowed a marathon etc. I'm used to doing long, unpleasant things that suck.

3. I'm not questioning. I'm going to ctb. It's just a matter of how and when. I don't have doubts or regrets and my decision is not impulsive. I won't second guess at the last minute.

These factors make it more likely for me to complete using this method compared to someone who copes by eating or someone who may be more impulsive or emotional about their decision so I understand why this method isn't recommended but there is a chance it works for me.

Spoiler: How I Fail

How I fail.
There are ways in which this can go wrong, and if it does, I suspect one of these will be the reason.

1. I faint in public/someone finds me and takes me to the hospital.
Because of how slow the method is, this is a real possibility. I can try to mitigate this but it is still up to chance.

2. It takes too long and my body protests in unusual ways like my skin becoming extremely sensitive to the point where it becomes excruciating.

3. I overestimate my restraint and ingest something. Hopefully keeping this public journal will help prevent this.

End of DAY 1

-No hunger or thirst sensations.
-Starting weight 160lbs, now 157lbs.
-Dull lower backache despite no chronic back pain.
-Already feeling slow performing physical activities.
-No headache or leg cramps (yet).

 

[soleil]

The only way I see this working is if you go camping with absolutely no food and water like this guy did, and it took him 2 months.

Gardener, 47, starved himself to death while camping in woods as he kept 58-day diary detailing the effects of not eating

Thomas Hall, 47, of St Davids in Pembrokeshire, Wales, started the diary when he refused to take any food on a camping trip into deep woodlands.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Have you heard of Euginia Cooney? If she's still kicking being a skeleton, I honestly don't think it's possible. SI is super strong, it will be crazy difficult.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

The only way I see this working is if you go camping with absolutely no food and water like this guy did, and it took him 2 months.

Gardener, 47, starved himself to death while camping in woods as he kept 58-day diary detailing the effects of not eating

Thomas Hall, 47, of St Davids in Pembrokeshire, Wales, started the diary when he refused to take any food on a camping trip into deep woodlands.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Have you heard of Euginia Cooney? If she's still kicking being a skeleton, I honestly don't think it's possible. SI is super strong, it will be crazy difficult.

What would you suggest instead?

 

[Ligand]

I've read about people attempting to do this and I don't think almost anyone succeeds. Often after an attempt people just become chronically anorexic, and that certainly doesn't solve any problems. Think about how many homeless people don't want to live but that do incredibly degrading things to get food and water on an almost daily basis. I'm sure a very large percentage of them have tried and failed your plan but on the streets. Sad world.

 

[MatthieuFrederickW]

The only way I see this working is if you go camping with absolutely no food and water like this guy did, and it took him 2 months.

Gardener, 47, starved himself to death while camping in woods as he kept 58-day diary detailing the effects of not eating

Thomas Hall, 47, of St Davids in Pembrokeshire, Wales, started the diary when he refused to take any food on a camping trip into deep woodlands.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Have you heard of Euginia Cooney? If she's still kicking being a skeleton, I honestly don't think it's possible. SI is super strong, it will be crazy difficult.

Did he also forgo fluids? The article only talks about starvation

 

[soleil]

Did he also forgo fluids? The article only talks about starvation

No clue but if he did drink, I assume he would have lasted much longer or survived esp with liquids other than water. It's extremely difficult with anything, SI is strong.

Yesterday, while researching, I learned that SN is a schedule 1 toxic industrial chemical in the country I was born in. That means I can't get it.
Back to square one.
Realizing that once again I had no method and no way out sapped everything out of me. I went back to the methods megathread to see what I had access to. Nothing is ideal but I don't have options. Partial suspension looks like my best bet. I don't even have anywhere to do a pull-up and I'm too tall to use the doorway (already tried). I could try again now that I've read up on the partial method. Even if my situation doesn't allow for it it's still worth a shot.

That was my thought process before I fell asleep last night. I was so out of it today that the entire day had passed before I realized that I haven't had anything to eat or drink in over 24 hours.
I can't remember when my last meal was but I definitely didn't eat anything last night, then I slept, then nothing all day today. I'm already one full day in by accident so I'm considering VSED now. I don't know how long it will take but the worst case scenario is that it will leave me weak. Maybe that'll make the hanging easier?

Anyway, I figured I may as well track the days here in a sort of journal. Whether I complete or fail it may be useful information.

Spoiler: Preface

Preface.
I've heard that this is an unpleasant/unreliable method. The SI factor etc. Here's why I'm not very concerned about those things.

1. When I was a teenager I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. I still don't think I have one personally but it's what the Dr said. Basically, I don't have an issue with not eating. I don't get hangry. I don't even like spending money on food and I think it's a waste that my body needs it.

2. I have a habit of extremes and endurance challenges. For one of my birthdays I did 1000 burpees, I've rowed a marathon etc. I'm used to doing long, unpleasant things that suck.

3. I'm not questioning. I'm going to ctb. It's just a matter of how and when. I don't have doubts or regrets and my decision is not impulsive. I won't second guess at the last minute.

These factors make it more likely for me to complete using this method compared to someone who copes by eating or someone who may be more impulsive or emotional about their decision so I understand why this method isn't recommended but there is a chance it works for me.

Spoiler: How I Fail

How I fail.
There are ways in which this can go wrong, and if it does, I suspect one of these will be the reason.

1. I faint in public/someone finds me and takes me to the hospital.
Because of how slow the method is, this is a real possibility. I can try to mitigate this but it is still up to chance.

2. It takes too long and my body protests in unusual ways like my skin becoming extremely sensitive to the point where it becomes excruciating.

3. I overestimate my restraint and ingest something. Hopefully keeping this public journal will help prevent this.

End of DAY 1

-No hunger or thirst sensations.
-Starting weight 160lbs, now 157lbs.
-Dull lower backache despite no chronic back pain.
-Already feeling slow performing physical activities.
-No headache or leg cramps (yet).

I'll PM you

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Yesterday, while researching, I learned that SN is a schedule 1 toxic industrial chemical in the country I was born in. That means I can't get it.
Back to square one.
Realizing that once again I had no method and no way out sapped everything out of me. I went back to the methods megathread to see what I had access to. Nothing is ideal but I don't have options. Partial suspension looks like my best bet. I don't even have anywhere to do a pull-up and I'm too tall to use the doorway (already tried). I could try again now that I've read up on the partial method. Even if my situation doesn't allow for it it's still worth a shot.

That was my thought process before I fell asleep last night. I was so out of it today that the entire day had passed before I realized that I haven't had anything to eat or drink in over 24 hours.
I can't remember when my last meal was but I definitely didn't eat anything last night, then I slept, then nothing all day today. I'm already one full day in by accident so I'm considering VSED now. I don't know how long it will take but the worst case scenario is that it will leave me weak. Maybe that'll make the hanging easier?

Anyway, I figured I may as well track the days here in a sort of journal. Whether I complete or fail it may be useful information.

Spoiler: Preface

Preface.
I've heard that this is an unpleasant/unreliable method. The SI factor etc. Here's why I'm not very concerned about those things.

1. When I was a teenager I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. I still don't think I have one personally but it's what the Dr said. Basically, I don't have an issue with not eating. I don't get hangry. I don't even like spending money on food and I think it's a waste that my body needs it.

2. I have a habit of extremes and endurance challenges. For one of my birthdays I did 1000 burpees, I've rowed a marathon etc. I'm used to doing long, unpleasant things that suck.

3. I'm not questioning. I'm going to ctb. It's just a matter of how and when. I don't have doubts or regrets and my decision is not impulsive. I won't second guess at the last minute.

These factors make it more likely for me to complete using this method compared to someone who copes by eating or someone who may be more impulsive or emotional about their decision so I understand why this method isn't recommended but there is a chance it works for me.

Spoiler: How I Fail

How I fail.
There are ways in which this can go wrong, and if it does, I suspect one of these will be the reason.

1. I faint in public/someone finds me and takes me to the hospital.
Because of how slow the method is, this is a real possibility. I can try to mitigate this but it is still up to chance.

2. It takes too long and my body protests in unusual ways like my skin becoming extremely sensitive to the point where it becomes excruciating.

3. I overestimate my restraint and ingest something. Hopefully keeping this public journal will help prevent this.

End of DAY 1

-No hunger or thirst sensations.
-Starting weight 160lbs, now 157lbs.
-Dull lower backache despite no chronic back pain.
-Already feeling slow performing physical activities.
-No headache or leg cramps (yet).

I was planning on updating this every 24 hours but I don't know if I'll have the energy or the executive function tonight. I called yesterday Day 1 to be safe but it might have already been day 2. Still sticking to calling it Day 1 just to be on the conservative site of estimations. Update on deterioration.

Day 2
-Insomnia. I'd much rather be so drained that I sleep all the time but that's not the case. This has happened before so I'm not surprised but no sleep when you're aching and lethargic isn't fun.
-Headache. It began last night. I still have it. It's not sharp.
-My legs feel cold with a slight ache. I may be on the verge of the leg cramps beginning.
-Almost blacked out when I got out of bed this morning. My blood pressure must've dropped or something. A good sign I think.
-No hunger or thirst.
-157lbs to 155lbs overnight.

 

[Meditation guide]

I wish you well with your plan. I assume you've read about this method and know what to expect including in the PPH. As I recall, you can go for a couple of weeks without food but it's the lack of water that does you in first, after around one week. What I read said you need help, a nurse in the last few days at least as you won't be able to care for yourself and will be bedridden, and also some pain and anti anxiety meds help.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

I wish you well with your plan. I assume you've read about this method and know what to expect including in the PPH. As I recall, you can go for a couple of weeks without food but it's the lack of water that does you in first, after around one week. What I read said you need help, a nurse in the last few days at least as you won't be able to care for yourself and will be bedridden, and also some pain and anti anxiety meds help.

I'm not worried about SI or anxiety. I can manage being bedridden for a couple days too. I refuse to take any meds at all because I'm not risking my intake of anything being above zero. So far I still am not feeling any sensation of thirst or hunger and I'm not craving anything.

My biggest concern, and it's the only thing I can see forcing me to bail out, is if as the emaciation becomes more extreme my skin becomes excruciating. No one ever talks about that symptom. I've experienced it before and I don't know if that's just a me thing. The last time it happened I wasn't feeling faint at all. I've already almost blacked out twice after standing up already so I'm hoping I pass out or fall into a coma before that happens, if it happens at all. I'm hoping it's the difference between my intake being low vs being zero which it is now.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

I was planning on updating this every 24 hours but I don't know if I'll have the energy or the executive function tonight. I called yesterday Day 1 to be safe but it might have already been day 2. Still sticking to calling it Day 1 just to be on the conservative site of estimations. Update on deterioration.

Day 2
-Insomnia. I'd much rather be so drained that I sleep all the time but that's not the case. This has happened before so I'm not surprised but no sleep when you're aching and lethargic isn't fun.
-Headache. It began last night. I still have it. It's not sharp.
-My legs feel cold with a slight ache. I may be on the verge of the leg cramps beginning.
-Almost blacked out when I got out of bed this morning. My blood pressure must've dropped or something. A good sign I think.
-No hunger or thirst.
-157lbs to 155lbs overnight.

-Headache is gone
-I feel completely normal besides this ache in my knees. I've never had knee problems. I suspect it's from the dehydration.
-Still not hungry or thirsty, intake is still zero, nothing has tempted me to bail yet. Basically, this has been very easy so far and only slightly uncomfortable at times.

So far, the first two days are effortless. Will see what the third day brings.



An aside. I think it's kind of poetic; dying of want after a life of total neglect.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

-Headache is gone
-I feel completely normal besides this ache in my knees. I've never had knee problems. I suspect it's from the dehydration.
-Still not hungry or thirsty, intake is still zero, nothing has tempted me to bail yet. Basically, this has been very easy so far and only slightly uncomfortable at times.

So far, the first two days are effortless. Will see what the third day brings.



An aside. I think it's kind of poetic; dying of want after a life of total neglect.

Day 3~

-Blood pressure: 88 71
-Weight: 150lbs
-Headache and body aches are gone.
-Zero hunger or thirst.
-Intake: 0.
-Extreme lethargy. It took me two hours to open my laptop. I'm so exhausted.
-My vision goes black every time I stand up. When I lie down again my ears start ringing.


Overall it's been very easy, except for one thing. My major concern is beginning to show itself. My skin is becoming sensitive. It comes in waves but I can feel the fibers of my clothes against my skin. It's not painful right now but when it comes, it's there. As the sensitivity increases it is going to be miserable. The problem is, last time I felt it I wasn't nearly this faint. If I keep going and I pass out it shouldn't matter, right? It will still work? On the other hand, if I keep waiting and bail later, the recovery process is going to suck.


Input and thoughts are welcomed.
And what method is worth pivoting to for an individual in this position? Partial hanging since they're already faint, highly concentrated salt water? Water intoxication? I'm going to hang in there and see what happens. I need to lie down now.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Dry mouth and throat. First craving. A very cold liquid. Something thin, smooth, and sweet. Intake is still zero.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Start of Day 4.
-The skin sensitivity I was concerned about has disappeared. This is perfect and I hope it stays this way.
-The fluid craving has intensified but not enough to sabotage me. Intake is still zero.
-No hunger.
-No aches or physical pains at all.
-Still having vision blackouts when I stand and very high fatigue (naturally).

This method is innately very slow but I hope I fall into a coma or something within this first week and never wake up again.
I also hope this first hand account of the experience is educational for whoever is curious about what the process is like.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Sometimes I wish I could give my unnaturally good health to someone who deserves it.
The rule of 3s. 3 minutes without air. 3 days without water. 3 weeks without food.
Not only am I still here on day 4 but I am coherent and functional and it seems to be getting easier the longer I go minus the fluid craving. That's still present.

I think I isolated the skin sensitivity from last time so I'm convinced it won't be an issue this time around. I'm glad the scare didn't make me bail since it was only the result of a stupid decision I made being impatient. It was coffee. I mixed a potent drink with the minimal amount of water of coffee. It was a lot of dense coffee. I thought it would help me dehydrate faster. Yes, stupid, like I said. My "shortcut" backfired. This time, I haven't had anything at all which is probably why I feel so.. normal.

Some more updates.
-My skin looks visibly worse now which always happens and is to be expected.
-Because of the fainting spells I'm thinking I can try the shallow water blackout method since I have access to a pool. (I know my dehydration will cause cramps but when I blackout that shouldn't matter)
-Still no hunger, but I would really like something to drink now.
-I haven't stood up yet for the day so I don't have weight updates but the trend is something like losing approximately 3lbs a day so far so my guess is 147-148.

*Edit: Verified weight is in fact 147lbs.

 

[outlook56]

Thank you for your experience and sharing it with us. Is there pain in general that is unbearable? From what I have read, it seems that the kidney will fail first and then you will die from the toxins in your body within less than 4-11 days if you are at home temperature. I truly wish you a pain-filled journey.

 

[sserafim]

Good luck! I tried this and was only able to last 2 days before I gave into SI. I'm gonna try again though. Thanks for sharing your experience!

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Thank you for your experience and sharing it with us. Is there pain in general that is unbearable? From what I have read, it seems that the kidney will fail first and then you will die from the toxins in your body within less than 4-11 days if you are at home temperature. I truly wish you a pain-filled journey.

No pain at all. There were some aches early on but they're all gone now. There's still general fatigue but even that feels like it's gotten better with time, not worse. It's all very confusing. I'm wondering if my body is adapting somehow.


Some additional updates:
-My clothes are falling off of me now. I've lost that much weight.
-I'm a handful of hours away from reaching the official day 5. By the time I wake up tomorrow I should have lost 10% of my bodyweight in less than a week.
-The desire to eat is virtually non existent, but the desire to drink is powerful. It's taking everything in me not to. I really want to ctb. More than anything it's what I want. And I don't want to throw away my chance for one cold glass.


I'll take it hour to hour from here and see how far I make it. If I do prove everyone here right by failing, I'll write my closing thoughts on the method, take a long cold drink, and then switch to plan B. Water intoxication, drowning/shallow water blackout, night night, partial hanging. Those seem accessible if I can pull them off. I'm never going to stop trying. No matter how many times it takes. No matter how much society denies my right to choose. I do not want to be here.

 

[cosifantutti]

In the UK this is legal though I think they'd stick you on a psychi ward once they knew. However some elderly people do this with the support of family.

A group called compassion in Dying has some info on it. I would suggest you look into it so you know what to expect.

Apparently 2-3 weeks is the average time it takes and even drinking just a teaspoon of water will slow it down.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

Are you still using the toilet or has the urge gone?

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Good luck! I tried this and was only able to last 2 days before I gave into SI. I'm gonna try again though. Thanks for sharing your experience!

I don't blame you. Going without food is trivial, but now that I'm in the last hours of day 4 the need to drink is so strong it's almost overwhelming but I'm hanging in there. Good luck to you too.

In the UK this is legal though I think they'd stick you on a psychi ward once they knew. However some elderly people do this with the support of family.

A group called compassion in Dying has some info on it. I would suggest you look into it so you know what to expect.

Apparently 2-3 weeks is the average time it takes and even drinking just a teaspoon of water will slow it down.

You are absolute right about that teaspoon of water. That's why my intake has been zero. Not even a sip of water. I'm going to do my best to hold on for a week. By then I'll have lost 21lbs. My body is unnaturally resilient. The amount of abuse it has been through that it has bounced back from without any lasting physical effects is unreal. If the average is 2-3 weeks and I'm an outlier, this could take me a month. I can't hide this for a month. Not with this weight loss and fatigue. I'll be found out. It's not looking like this is going to work but I'm not giving up on it yet. This will be in my conclusion if I live but the 3 days without water thing is a complete and total myth.

And that legal avenue you mentioned in the UK is usually reserved for the elderly and terminally ill. I'm 28 and physically fit. I wouldn't qualify anyway.

Are you still using the toilet or has the urge gone?

Great question. No. My digestive tract is completely empty so there's nothing to pass. I haven't needed to use the bathroom in days. I am still urinating though not frequently.

 

[ipmanwc0]

good luck

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find the freedom you are searching for, best wishes.

 

[AlouA]

No pain at all. There were some aches early on but they're all gone now. There's still general fatigue but even that feels like it's gotten better with time, not worse. It's all very confusing. I'm wondering if my body is adapting somehow.


Some additional updates:
-My clothes are falling off of me now. I've lost that much weight.
-I'm a handful of hours away from reaching the official day 5. By the time I wake up tomorrow I should have lost 10% of my bodyweight in less than a week.
-The desire to eat is virtually non existent, but the desire to drink is powerful. It's taking everything in me not to. I really want to ctb. More than anything it's what I want. And I don't want to throw away my chance for one cold glass.


I'll take it hour to hour from here and see how far I make it. If I do prove everyone here right by failing, I'll write my closing thoughts on the method, take a long cold drink, and then switch to plan B. Water intoxication, drowning/shallow water blackout, night night, partial hanging. Those seem accessible if I can pull them off. I'm never going to stop trying. No matter how many times it takes. No matter how much society denies my right to choose. I do not want to be here.

I really admire your determination . And this thread is a great source of information.. I wish you the best

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Last post here for tonight. Will update again after I weight check tomorrow.

I still have not had anything to eat or drink. Hunger is still at zero. At this point I'm starting to think maybe that Dr was right and I just have an eating disorder after all. I wanted to document this process to be informational and contribute to the rich knowledge base of this community even though it's all anecdotal, so I'm bringing that up to say that I don't think it will be the experience most people have with this process.

As far as thirst is concerned, I put water on my face and stood in front of the AC on the lowest temperature at the highest speed until my face was dry. It was the exact sensation I needed and it helped a lot. I'm not struggling as much to drink now. The need has been comfortably dulled, though not thoroughly absent like hunger.

That's all for now.

 

[cosifantutti]

I don't blame you. Going without food is trivial, but now that I'm in the last hours of day 4 the need to drink is so strong it's almost overwhelming but I'm hanging in there. Good luck to you too.

You are absolute right about that teaspoon of water. That's why my intake has been zero. Not even a sip of water. I'm going to do my best to hold on for a week. By then I'll have lost 21lbs. My body is unnaturally resilient. The amount of abuse it has been through that it has bounced back from without any lasting physical effects is unreal. If the average is 2-3 weeks and I'm an outlier, this could take me a month. I can't hide this for a month. Not with this weight loss and fatigue. I'll be found out. It's not looking like this is going to work but I'm not giving up on it yet. This will be in my conclusion if I live but the 3 days without water thing is a complete and total myth.

And that legal avenue you mentioned in the UK is usually reserved for the elderly and terminally ill. I'm 28 and physically fit. I wouldn't qualify anyway.


Great question. No. My digestive tract is completely empty so there's nothing to pass. I haven't needed to use the bathroom in days. I am still urinating though not frequently.

Yes that makes sense in terms of what's legal. A healthy younger person would not be allowed to do this. I'm 63 (still too young) but I've decided if I get Alzheimer's this is the way I'll go. This is me presuming I'd be allowed and I'd get the support of my kids and husband. Realistically they'd find that too difficult.

I appreciate your posts and have learnt a lot already.

Take care

 

[Meditation guide]

From what I've read on this, the last few days require nursing care, to give pain and anxiety relieving meds.
Ideally being totally relaxed in a slightly drugged state to ease the cravings and the pain in the kidneys which let me tell you is no joke and I have experienced. A fentanyl patch would be so helpful, not sure if you could use one or be provided that though.

 

[アホペンギン]

VSED is recommended for the elderly due to the fact that their bodies are much weaker than those who are younger. It takes approximately 2 weeks for them to die from VSED and even that needs medical assistance, 2 months will be very agonizing and I'm sure you'll be denied medical assistance like painkillers to calm the process. Good luck anyways.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

VSED Journal Day 5 Thoughts and Conclusions.

Why I chose VSED in the first place.

After finding out how restricted SN is in my country I lost all hope of a dignified method of ctb. For the next 24 hours, purely by accident I realized I hadn't had anything to eat or drink. I heard about the rule of 3's when looking up methods on the clear web before finding this site.
3 minutes without air.
3 days without water
3 weeks without food.
There is nothing more I'd like than to ctb and because SN was not available and this method is so slow even having a day's head start made me willing to try if there was even a chance it would work. I figured that even if the numbers were off by a couple days it would still get the job done.
I was wrong. Everyone who said I wouldn't complete was right. I tried this on desperation and bad research. This is what I learned.

Why VSED doesn't work.

1.) The first reason VSED is extremely likely to fail is because, like people have mentioned since I started this thread, SI. If you consider the fact that most people get irritable if they miss lunch, asking them to not eat or drink anything for weeks simply isn't viable. I made it 5 days, losing 3lbs a day on average. The reason why I was willing to hold on this long at minimum was because I had more bad information that things start crashing when you lose 10% of your bodyweight. Not only is this not true but I started feeling better, not worse, in most ways as the days went on. I was on the verge of blacking out more on days 2 and 3 than I was on 4, and on 5 even that is virtually non existent.

2.) Which brings me to the second reason. Your body is extremely adaptable. If you are physically healthy, this will never work for you unless you're stranded in a desert or a cage alone with no survival skills and no way out. Your body will alter its processes, feed off of itself, and enter what is virtually a power saving mode. You'll lose muscle mass to burn less energy, you'll sweat less etc. It would take much longer than a week to burn through all of your body's resources if you are physically healthy.

3.) Even if you had the willpower to see it through to the end and the endurance for all the discomforts, if people see you, they're going to notice. 5 days in and some of my pants are falling off of my waist. Someone commented on whether I had been eating enough and offered me food which I was able to tactfully decline. If you get found out, it's over. And you'll have experienced all of that discomfort for nothing, at best.

This entire thread, top to bottom, is all anecdotal based on my experience and I know a lot of this way seem obvious or you're less desperate or better learned but I still hope theis failure is useful.

Who VSED is for.

Like any resource on the matter will tell you, surface web or not, VSED is for terminally ill people who are already in hospice who would like to embrace the inevitable instead of fight it, be more comfortable, and speed up the process. That's all VSED does. It speeds up the process if you're already dying. It won't kill you on its own. If you are healthy this is not a remotely viable method.

The worst aspects of the experience.

1.) Skin irritation. By far. Nothing else comes close. If you try this for any extended period of time, this will also be an issue as your body recovers and skin starts peeling.
(I'm thinking of more but honestly everything else is at least manageable compared to this.)

Redeeming qualities of light VSED aka just fasting.
1.) If you do not try to use it to CTB, and you drink water sometimes instead of not at all, you will lose a lot of weight very quickly if that is something you're inclined to do for some reason.
2.) If you're battling some kind sex/porn addiction, no food will throw off your hormonal balance and your libido will plummet. If you're extremely desperate for reprieve it might help.
3.) VSED is basically a non violent form of SH. If you're brain is a mess and you find peace in hurtful things then the feeling of almost blacking out and the general fatigue could potentially satisfy those urges without leaving scars.

tl;dr Everyone here was right, I failed, and VSED is not a good ctb method.

I'm sure I had more to say. If I remember, I'll post it, but otherwise I'll just answer questions if anyone has them. With that said, that's all for now on this failed method and I have to starting planning again for something more effective.

 

[MatthieuFrederickW]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...pt-58-day-diary-detailing-effects-eating.html << this guy successfully ctb'd, but I'm not sure if he stopped all fluids or not. Did you stop because of being found out, or was it because you couldn't tolerate it anymore?

 

[リンさん]

This thread was very informative to read, and also extremely valuable.

Thank you for sharing your experience <3