Story spiritual dream in hospital just made me want to ctb even more

[cicadafriend]

Last time I was sent to the hospital, they threatened to send me to a state institution, but I was able to get a relative to come and sign some bs safety contract the next day. But anyways, while I was asleep in the hospital I dreamt I had met an angel who encouraged me to tend to a garden with him, and he even made it snow (I grew up somewhere cold and I love the snow). I found it super comforting and felt extremely calm when I woke up, probably the most soothed I've felt in the past year. The town I was in at the time even had some pretty interesting folklore about angels/ guardian angels / whatever you want to call it.
But if there is something else, something way more peaceful than our current world, then I have no explanation for why I haven't ctb yet. Does anyone else experience stuff like this? For me it's kind of comforting when planning stuff out.