Venting soulmate cut me off

[gurowuro]

i hate myself and i hate her. i stopped to care for a relationship shortly after our breakup but the fact that she refuses to acknowledge or accept that she's done damage to me really hurts bad. she cut me off to avoid responsibility and accountability, that really crushed my heart so much… ever since she lied (and probably cheated) on me it genuinely traumatized me and changed how i view any interaction with ANYONE EVER. i developed a bipolar disorder shortly after and NOW im going through severe anxiety attacks at work to the point where i genuinely cant work full shifts and im probably gonna get fired. i fucking hate this and i hate how weak i am for letting a lying piece of shit take so much control of my life and emotions. i really love and care for her, i wish i didnt. i wish none of these feelings i hold for her were real. its destroying my life and i act like im positive about the possible future that i could have but im really done with trying, i just want to rest for a bit but the world keeps spinning and i cant take a moment to breathe. everything hurts. i wish i never found out about her lies and i could live in a delusion, id be sm happier. i see her social media once in a while, seeing her be so happy hurts so much after everything ive endured and i still feel so empty, sad and angry. she refused to face what she did to me in favor of her own tranquility and it makes my heart ache everytime i remind myself. i just hope for accountability, to see her be genuinely sorry. idk if itd change anything but it would just ease that thought from me

 

[Ekim]

They ain't your soulmate if they cut you off

 

[voc_89]

Some advise as I have been there as well. Block their number(s). Delete all socials you have with her and block her on socials as well. If you have joint friends u may have to cut them off for now. What u need essentially is distance as your love is overpowering the hate u feel and that's because u still idolizing her. You have to "give into your aggressive feelings boy". Thats the only way to get over them as you were betrayed. By default u will hate betrayal. That's how u get over it. But till u put some distance u will not. It sucks, I know it does, but you have to take baby steps if u wanna see the other side.

 

[Macedonian1987]

It is genuinely exhausting to carry the weight of a betrayal that the other person refuses to acknowledge, but please know that your pain isn't a sign of weakness. Navigating a mental health crisis while the world keeps moving is an immense challenge, and you deserve credit just for trying to keep your head above water. I hope you can eventually find peace within yourself, because your healing is far too valuable to be held hostage by an apology she may never be capable of giving.

 

[decayingangel]

i hate myself and i hate her. i stopped to care for a relationship shortly after our breakup but the fact that she refuses to acknowledge or accept that she's done damage to me really hurts bad. she cut me off to avoid responsibility and accountability, that really crushed my heart so much… ever since she lied (and probably cheated) on me it genuinely traumatized me and changed how i view any interaction with ANYONE EVER. i developed a bipolar disorder shortly after and NOW im going through severe anxiety attacks at work to the point where i genuinely cant work full shifts and im probably gonna get fired. i fucking hate this and i hate how weak i am for letting a lying piece of shit take so much control of my life and emotions. i really love and care for her, i wish i didnt. i wish none of these feelings i hold for her were real. its destroying my life and i act like im positive about the possible future that i could have but im really done with trying, i just want to rest for a bit but the world keeps spinning and i cant take a moment to breathe. everything hurts. i wish i never found out about her lies and i could live in a delusion, id be sm happier. i see her social media once in a while, seeing her be so happy hurts so much after everything ive endured and i still feel so empty, sad and angry. she refused to face what she did to me in favor of her own tranquility and it makes my heart ache everytime i remind myself. i just hope for accountability, to see her be genuinely sorry. idk if itd change anything but it would just ease that thought from me

First of all if she did all that and didn't take accountability or even acknowledged she did something wrong - she definitely wasn't your soulmate and absolutely didn't deserve to have you in her life.
I know all you want is apology, you want to know she sees how she hurt you and feels bad for it. But from what you said she isn't sorry and probably won't be. People like this often don't care even if aware they hurt someone. And by looking at her profiles all you're going to do is torment yourself further when she's somewhere there unaffected and unbothered.
Don't do this to yourself, delete her from your life just like she deleted you. I know it's hard i know it hurts like hell but she's no longer in the picture don't try to forcefully bring her back. You'll just give yourself more pain.
Focus on yourself, on your mental health on people that are in your life now or could be. Don't waste your time and energy on someone that hurt you and doesn't care that they did. They wont say sorry i can assure you that. Don't waste yourself on someone who can't even show you basic respect.
Wish you the best, and wish you find someone in your life that will make you feel loved cherished and respected.