My sociopathic mother lied to him and told him I've been abusing her. I've deliberately not said a single word to her for months until she creeped around and started spying on me. My dad isn't involved in my life or hers and hasn't been for years because he's a mobster and clinically insane/unstable, he's killed people for less. Very dangerous and volatile person. I shouted at her and her back at me and that was one incident weeks ago regarding spying on me but she told him I've been treating her like dogshit and making her cry and feel miserable/depressed (when that's what she does to me, she twists anything I say to her about her actions into a tool she can use for herself), as if I'm standing over her giving her abuse when in reality it's the other way around. She starts throwing insults me and mocking me at every opportunity. She's an honest sociopath that twists narratives all day long and keeps getting away with it. She enjoys to see me in pain. She invented a story today that I've been freeloading off her and ignoring her, laughing in her face and living here for free. In reality we made an agreement last year that I'd sell my things, get some money together and leave by mid this year at the latest. I told her I felt abused and thought it best we just stop talking until I go, she rolled her eyes and laughed at me as usual but finally agreed. My idea was to move away on my own and kill myself, I lied to her and told her I know some people I have to go and live with. All was going according to plan until she started seeing me pay for my own food, this for some reason infuriated her and she would scowl at me in silence. Then next thing I know she's on the phone to my nutcase of a father and bawling her eyes out with a performance that could win an oscar, then she followed me around the house with him on loudspeaker screaming death threats at me and insulting me as if he has a say in what I do or don't do when I'm in my 20s.
She still sees me as a child and I've been battling her warped understanding of reality my entire life. I've been trapped in this house with her as a hermit and haven't left the house in years due to a myriad of undiagnosed problems. I have zero friends and no social network period. Nobody knows I still exist other than online screennames here, maybe two other sites at most and those two nutjobs. Nobody knows who I actually am beyond these words on a screen. I'm a forgotten member of society with no formal qualifications, no records, no anything. I have essentially nothing to live for. There's no one I get online and talk to everyday, I spend all of my time 100% alone. I would have had 300 GBP from selling an item but she realized this and did this whole "YOU NEED TO LEAVE TODAY" stunt out of nowhere because she wants me to be on the streets with nothing at all. It was due to be posted today but I have no cash to post it. I can't stay here with her, I can't go and live with the nutcase, I can't go on the streets, I can't do anything except choose where I get to die. Death is the way out and everything stops, all of this is over with death. I wanted more than anything to not have to die here and to fly to an undisclosed city, see the sights and quietly OD on a cruise. I swore I would not die in this house and swore again not this town but it's this or I leave right now and walk for a few miles until I end up under a bridge in the middle of the night.
