Venting soon, I'll get hospitalized again, and I'm absolutely terrified

[overmorrow]

soon, i will get hospitalized most likely again, due to various reasons, especially my weight being extremely low, but also having very bad muscle atrophy, the thought of gaining kgs is absolutely terrorizing me, but what is scaring me more, is how pointless this all is

the moment I get discharged, i know, i know and im sure that ill lose all of my forced recovery weight again

i just don't want to live anymore, i want to lay in bed, and die, i see no point in living if it brings me nothing positive, I'd like to try a new place, I don't want to be here anymore, maybe eternal nothingness is better, it must be

all we are, brain impulses, I wish someone could speak some sense into me, make me, see things differently, but somehow, i can't find a single person that is able to smudge this idea of mine, of how superficial life is, the weight of it all crumbles down on my shoulders, and i can't handle it anymore

give me one benefit in being alive, i don't know, this existence is so cruel

 

[invisible4ever]

soon, i will get hospitalized most likely again, due to various reasons, especially my weight being extremely low, but also having very bad muscle atrophy, the thought of gaining kgs is absolutely terrorizing me, but what is scaring me more, is how pointless this all is

the moment I get discharged, i know, i know and im sure that ill lose all of my forced recovery weight again

i just don't want to live anymore, i want to lay in bed, and die, i see no point in living if it brings me nothing positive, I'd like to try a new place, I don't want to be here anymore, maybe eternal nothingness is better, it must be

all we are, brain impulses, I wish someone could speak some sense into me, make me, see things differently, but somehow, i can't find a single person that is able to smudge this idea of mine, of how superficial life is, the weight of it all crumbles down on my shoulders, and i can't handle it anymore

give me one benefit in being alive, i don't know, this existence is so cruel

Those of us who see the banality of life are the ones cursed to hold that knowledge in our heads forever

 

[overmorrow]

Those of us who see the banality of life are the ones cursed to hold that knowledge in our heads forever

I'm just so tired, of this existence, i hate being forced to live, I've never asked for this, but that's a nice quote, or way to put it

 

[invisible4ever]

I'm just so tired, of this existence, i hate being forced to live, I've never asked for this, but that's a nice quote, or way to put it

I hear you. I feel exactly the same way and I'm losing hope but I do hope that you don't. Hypocritical I know.