Lost in a Dream
He/him - Metal head
- Feb 22, 2020
- 2,243
The anger has always been a part of me for as long as I've been alive, but it's only gotten worse through the years and it doesn't seem to matter anymore if I'm drinking alcohol or not. The worst of it comes from knowing others are being abused horribly in this life and there isn't a damn thing I can do to stop it. The powerlessness of it makes me want to punch walls until the drywall looks like Swiss Cheese and my fist is broken and bloody.
Some days I even have thoughts about going out guns blazing and it both scares me and thrills me in ways that are hard to explain. I would rather die than act on such an impulse though because I don't want to live long enough to see myself become a villain. I would rather die a hero as the saying goes, but how can I be a hero when there's nothing I can do?
It's just another thing that makes me wish my life was over. The sooner the better because I would rather not exist and feel nothing than continue to feel this get worse.
Some days I even have thoughts about going out guns blazing and it both scares me and thrills me in ways that are hard to explain. I would rather die than act on such an impulse though because I don't want to live long enough to see myself become a villain. I would rather die a hero as the saying goes, but how can I be a hero when there's nothing I can do?
It's just another thing that makes me wish my life was over. The sooner the better because I would rather not exist and feel nothing than continue to feel this get worse.
