Venting Sometimes I feel like I died a long time ago, and my body has yet to get the message.

[beggarsbelief]

Objectively, I'm in a better, less dangerous, more stable and full-of-opportunities place than I have been all my life. In fact, looking back this is one of the few times in my life,maybe even the only time, where I have nothing to fear, nothing to endanger me, and can do what I want going forward in life. But I feel nothing. All the dreams I used to occupy myself growing up, when I was in danger or when my future felt so uncertain, now that I may be able to attain them they've lost all their lustre for me. I've never been a religious person, I've always tried to explain things rationally, logically. But increasingly I just feel like "Fate" has decreed that I wasn't supposed to live this long. Death is a man who always collects his debts and I have been in debt to him for all of my life.

 

[intothedark]

I've felt like this ever since I came very close to CTB and was found. I feel like I was supposed to die that day, which is weird because I'm not a "fate" person either.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Same here: I find life pointless and meaningless. I'm not living, just existing, and the part of me that had any interest in life withered away a long time ago.