Somethings I want to do before taking N and dying

[Funeralprincess]

1) want to finish my last semester of college to make my grandma proud

2) I want to have quality time with my cat… as much of it as I can have and I already have a lot with her haha

3) I want to do a really good drug one last time

4) I want to keep losing weight so I'm more confident when I die

5) I want to go to the beach for a night and listen to music on the sand as I write poetry

6) I want to wear all of my lovely dressses a few more times and take beautiful photos for my obituary

7) I want to hike some lovely trails and see the sunset over the mountains

8) I want to smoke a lot of weed and meditate deeply

9) I want to make all of my favorite teas and coffees and enjoy them

10) I want a few trips to the spa to rejuvenate my skin

11) I want to meet new people and enjoy their company platonically

12) I want to see my siblings for the last time

13) I want to dance in the summer rain and feel like a kid again

14) I want to go to a new city, try their foods, and explore there for a day

15) I want to take a trip to Hawaii like I did when I was a child and enjoy the culture there before I finally say goodbye

16) I want to stargaze and enjoy the stars, meteor showers, and the planets I can see through a telescope

17) I want to spend time with my best friend and remind her that she's really fucking amazing

That's all I have so far

 

[keitaro]

that's quite a list. i hope it all goes well~

 

[betternever2havbeen]

That sounds like a lot of reasons to live! I'm not creative enough to think of that many, or even a few ! Lol. I hope you accomplish them and afterwards maybe you will feel better, but if not no judgement it just sounds like life holds many more enjoyable moments for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I know how much you have suffered in life so I hope that you are able to enjoy your remaining time left. I think that having the option of a peaceful exit can make life more bearable for people, and it is good that you have things that you want to do before you leave.

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

That sounds like a lot of reasons to live! I'm not creative enough to think of that many, or even a few ! Lol. I hope you accomplish them and afterwards maybe you will feel better, but if not no judgement it just sounds like life holds many more enjoyable moments for you.

I thought the same thing! That's a lot to live for. I wish I had so many things that brought me joy. I hope OP gets everything they wish for!

 

[Julgran]

1) want to finish my last semester of college to make my grandma proud

2) I want to have quality time with my cat… as much of it as I can have and I already have a lot with her haha

3) I want to do a really good drug one last time

4) I want to keep losing weight so I'm more confident when I die

5) I want to go to the beach for a night and listen to music on the sand as I write poetry

6) I want to wear all of my lovely dressses a few more times and take beautiful photos for my obituary

7) I want to hike some lovely trails and see the sunset over the mountains

8) I want to smoke a lot of weed and meditate deeply

9) I want to make all of my favorite teas and coffees and enjoy them

10) I want a few trips to the spa to rejuvenate my skin

11) I want to meet new people and enjoy their company platonically

12) I want to see my siblings for the last time

13) I want to dance in the summer rain and feel like a kid again

14) I want to go to a new city, try their foods, and explore there for a day

15) I want to take a trip to Hawaii like I did when I was a child and enjoy the culture there before I finally say goodbye

16) I want to stargaze and enjoy the stars, meteor showers, and the planets I can see through a telescope

17) I want to spend time with my best friend and remind her that she's really fucking amazing

That's all I have so far

This sounds like a good way to finish this life, if that remains your goal after achieving all those things.

I hope that you will be able to cross everything off the list eventually and then allow yourself to rest for eternity.

In the meantime, take good care of your cat ... speaking of your cat, will you give it away to your best friend, or someone else...?

 

[8evergo]

I've already experienced and seen so many things, I still want to enjoy summer and go to late autumn.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I've already experienced and seen so many things, I still want to enjoy summer and go to late autumn.

Wishing you the best. Nice list.

 

[Funeralprincess]

This sounds like a good way to finish this life, if that remains your goal after achieving all those things.

I hope that you will be able to cross everything off the list eventually and then allow yourself to rest for eternity.

In the meantime, take good care of your cat ... speaking of your cat, will you give it away to your best friend, or someone else...?

My cat will be with my roommate. I raised her to be very loving and sweet and she's strictly indoors as she will run away if let out. I want her to be in a loving and kind home and my roommate knows that if she can't keep caring for her to be very selective about where Luna will go

 

[locked*n*loaded]

To me, these sound like reasons to want to live. They sound like enjoyments. Enjoyments are usually gone by the time someone reaches the point of ctb.

 

[Funeralprincess]

To me, these sound like reasons to want to live. They sound like enjoyments. Enjoyments are usually gone by the time someone reaches the point of ctb.

I can see that view point, but they aren't reasons to live. I'm doing them before I die. I have to die because my reason to live was demolished and taken away from me. People can have enjoyments but still actively being suicidal. There's a difference between something that's enjoyable versus something that motivates your will to live and people shouldn't be stupid enough to confuse the two

 

[Graytaichi]

Wow .... what a huge list. I wish i be like you .

 

[Euthanza]

These stem from having N in hands, it is guaranteeing CTB peacefully anytime, because you know you'll be fulfilled after focusing on other worldly improvements, giving your best effort here on earth. It is exactly why Right To Die should be legal for all adults with sound mind. Being suicidal is not bad from that POV, even though that may not be common case for today's society.

Most of us here are still struggling anxiously for what method, how and when is it the time to end; We are being censored for talking about suicide in other place. They said go get help go talk to someone, but when you're talking then the Suicide Prevention Bingo bullshit is readily available to take you to psych ward. Here on SS, we're venting, complaining a lot and some others so unfortunate they might take very hard way of dying because they just can't bear life anymore. The current legal systems only allow us peaceful end if only we cannot enjoy life anymore, we must suffer first, that's the second worst system after criminalizing suicide.

Consider yourself among the lucky ones. Good luck and have a peaceful journey.

 

[Hope:-)]

Eat my favourite foods. Have no contact with my family again just so I can say I finally achieved it...not that they will understand why I don't want contact but oh well, it's for me anyway. Maybe take myself on a day trip to a town or two in the country.x

 

[8evergo]

I can travel ill over the world I have see so many country's an town over the world I have money but I ditent have the luck and health

 

[Funeralprincess]

These stem from having N in hands, it is guaranteeing CTB peacefully anytime, because you know you'll be fulfilled after focusing on other worldly improvements, giving your best effort here on earth. It is exactly why Right To Die should be legal for all adults with sound mind. Being suicidal is not bad from that POV, even though that may not be common case for today's society.

Most of us here are still struggling anxiously for what method, how and when is it the time to end; We are being censored for talking about suicide in other place. They said go get help go talk to someone, but when you're talking then the Suicide Prevention Bingo bullshit is readily available to take you to psych ward. Here on SS, we're venting, complaining a lot and some others so unfortunate they might take very hard way of dying because they just can't bear life anymore. The current legal systems only allow us peaceful end if only we cannot enjoy life anymore, we must suffer first, that's the second worst system after criminalizing suicide.

Consider yourself among the lucky ones. Good luck and have a peaceful journey.

I wouldn't say I'm lucky. I had to do a lot to get N as in slaving away hours at work to afford it. I sadly had to starve a lot to afford N but you are right about it being peaceful and that's why I'm so calm now. Before obtaining N, I was a wreck, scared and emotional about painful methods (I've tried to die before and it was VERY painful) and I couldn't agree with you more that prevention people suck ass because they truly don't give a fuck

That sounds like a lot of reasons to live! I'm not creative enough to think of that many, or even a few ! Lol. I hope you accomplish them and afterwards maybe you will feel better, but if not no judgement it just sounds like life holds many more enjoyable moments for you.

I'm doing them before I die. I definitely don't want to live. I actually couldn't think of doing these things until I obtained N.

 

[idk1]

1) want to finish my last semester of college to make my grandma proud

2) I want to have quality time with my cat… as much of it as I can have and I already have a lot with her haha

3) I want to do a really good drug one last time

4) I want to keep losing weight so I'm more confident when I die

5) I want to go to the beach for a night and listen to music on the sand as I write poetry

6) I want to wear all of my lovely dressses a few more times and take beautiful photos for my obituary

7) I want to hike some lovely trails and see the sunset over the mountains

8) I want to smoke a lot of weed and meditate deeply

9) I want to make all of my favorite teas and coffees and enjoy them

10) I want a few trips to the spa to rejuvenate my skin

11) I want to meet new people and enjoy their company platonically

12) I want to see my siblings for the last time

13) I want to dance in the summer rain and feel like a kid again

14) I want to go to a new city, try their foods, and explore there for a day

15) I want to take a trip to Hawaii like I did when I was a child and enjoy the culture there before I finally say goodbye

16) I want to stargaze and enjoy the stars, meteor showers, and the planets I can see through a telescope

17) I want to spend time with my best friend and remind her that she's really fucking amazing

That's all I have so far

I cried. Wish you the best, @mblum

 

[JealousOfTheElderly]

@mblum I love your list. Go out and do those things many times over, not just once.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I'm doing them before I die. I definitely don't want to live. I actually couldn't think of doing these things until I obtained N.

I totally respect that, and I love your list. I wish I had N-I know how you feel, the thought of having it makes me feel so comforted and relieved, not sure if I will be able to get my hands on it. I don't have a list like that but I do picture my last day being enjoyable now and being happy for the first time in years when I fantasise about going with N. It's such a weight off my mind to even find out it's something people can actually get a hold of.

 

[8evergo]

To me, these sound like reasons to want to live. They sound like enjoyments. Enjoyments are usually gone by the time someone reaches the point of ctb.

every person is different or ticks differently a suicidal person has to think one way or another thinking this way is not right she wants to experience again what she likes sees no meaning behind it but it will be intense
i'm just like that not everyone has to or is like you think . Dear @mblum enjoy the beautiful moments and take them into your grave

 

[locked*n*loaded]

every person is different or ticks differently a suicidal person has to think one way or another thinking this way is not right she wants to experience again what she likes sees no meaning behind it but it will be intense
i'm just like that not everyone has to or is like you think . Dear @mblum enjoy the beautiful moments and take them into your grave

The OP used the word ENJOY right in their posting multiple times. And in MY posting, right at the very beginning, I said TO ME. I didn't say TO YOU, these sound like reasons you should want to live. And I didn't say to the OP that in their list ARE reasons that they should want to live.

Please don't add sentiment to my comments, inference, or things that you perceived between the lines.

 

[8evergo]

The OP used the word ENJOY right in their posting multiple times. And in MY posting, right at the very beginning, I said TO ME. I didn't say TO YOU, these sound like reasons you should want to live. And I didn't say to the OP that in their list ARE reasons that they should want to live.

Please don't add sentiment to my comments, inference, or things that you perceived between the lines.

Maybe I misunderstood you, I can have fun dancing and do a ctb right after. I haven't had any joy for a long time, but when it comes to my ctb, I want to leave this shitty world with joy, that's how it is and before that my relatives see what I want to do then go to the grave
if you felt hurt, i want to apologize

 

[locked*n*loaded]

if you felt hurt, i want to apologize

Not hurt, and no apology really necessary, but thanks. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Maybe I should take a little more time and write things more concisely.