Something I have learned: actually processing emotions

[etherealgoddess]

I didn't realize that every single time I have a difficult emotion, my first instinct is to go and search on the web and research. I'll already know what I'm feeling or why I feel the way I feel and what to do about it, yet I'll keep researching about it. I didn't realize that this was actually emotional avoidance. Now, context is great. But if that's the only thing you do when you feel depressed, that's probably why you're depressed. I just took the time to close all my distractions and really sit in my pain. And wow... I feel a huge relief. I hadn't been able to eat properly for days because of anxiety and depression, and after sitting with that pain (which is not easy by the way), I was able to regain my appetite back. Hopefully this helps someone!

 

[Gangrel]

what do you mean by "sit with your pain"?

 

[fwompie]

what do you mean by "sit with your pain"?

Not pushing it away, recognizing how it feels in your body, listening to the thoughts and just letting them be. Not taking them seriously or acting upon but just realizing and accepting that it's an emotion. I used to push all emotions away by SH or drinking alcohol and it just made it worse bc it would build up. If you allow yourself to feel the horrible stuff you're feeling without pushing it away and escaping, it'll help in the long run. And yes it sucks lol

 

[cherrylace]

how were you able to realize how to be able to sit with the pain?

 

[etherealgoddess]

how were you able to realize how to be able to sit with the pain?

I focus on my body. I feel the sensations inside my body. I turn off all distractions. I stop researching about anxiety or depression or looking at other experiences. I turn it all off. I then sit there and focus on all the feelings inside my torso, my chest, my stomach, neck, and head. You tend to feel sensations there when you're feeling heavy emotions. And just keep focusing on it. You will notice yourself wanting to get a distraction, being bored, wanting to research or whatever, but no. Sit with it for up to 20 min or as long as you need. It should naturally release. Just a reminder that anxiety is not an emotion. It's an emotional avoidant state where your ego is actually covering up all your deepest darkest pain with anxiety. Our bodies have defense mechanisms to protect us from negative emotions. It will use anxiety to drown out the deepest pains that can destroy your sense of self. If you dig up the shit down there, the stuff that is so painful that your body, shit will feel horrible HOWEVER you will actually release!! It's very likely that deep down, you just hate yourself and feel worthless. When you sit with those deep horrible feelings, shit feels like the worst depression ever but it finally releases. And you might have to do it a lot every once in a while to purge, but you feel way better after feeling.

what do you mean by "sit with your pain"?

Just responded!

 

[cherrylace]

thank you for the explanation!!