someone help me please.

[thesilliesttgoose]

i'm willing to hear any advice. please. my cousin died a year ago, she was my bestfriend, she knew the weird and the ugly parts of me and she still loved me. she adored me her whole life. she was only 16. she had a medical condition, and now i just feel so empty, i feel so lonely, i just want to see her again. i need advice, i don't know what to do and i feel like im spiraling out of control. i push people away when they get close because im scared they're gonna be next. i've had people in my life die so often. i lost my great grandmother at 12, my grandad at 13 and now my cousin at 17. the last time we hung out was christmas and it was amazing. i have never felt so loved and seen by a person, she knew me. and she loved me. her love ran so deep through the people she cared about and now it's gone. i have no one. any advice is welcome. please help me.

 

[painfully]

I dont want to sound like Im making fun of you, but I think you should think about it rationally. Your grandparents died of natural causes, and your cousin had very bad luck. People dont tend to die of unnatural causes because if we did the society would not exist.
I mean, I cant really tell you much more in terms of fearing the death of whoever you talk to.

 

[enjoytheride]

Hi! I am very sorry for the loss of your relatives, and especially for the passing of your cousin who seems to have been a wonderful best friend. I am afraid I cannot think of any advice on how to deal with such a loss, except praying for that person, cherishing the memories and reminiscing with others about them and the good time you had together.

What happened is beyond anyone's control, unfortunately, and I am sure that you did your best to love her back. I think you should be happy to have been part of her life. Surely that made a difference to her, as she made a difference to you. Don't give up on yourself as she wouldn't have given up on you.

We have to accept that many things in life cannot be controlled by us and try to find peace in this powerlessness. There's a saying in the spirit of "do your best and leave the rest to its own course".

Kind regards

 

[Alexandra_]

Please accept my sincere condolences. Eternal memory to your sister. Don't push people away, I wish you to find new friends who will understand and support you. After all, being alone is very difficult

 

[Dot]

Hve u evr recivd grif counsllng fr workng thru ur feelngs of losng ur cousn

Slf cld fnd sme rsourcs if tht wld b of n.e hlp

U sd tht sh/ adord u s/ slf cn imgne tht sh/ mght wnt u 2 hve n.e availbl chnce t/ b hppy

 

[thesilliesttgoose]

Hve u evr recivd grif counsllng fr workng thru ur feelngs of losng ur cousn

Slf cld fnd sme rsourcs if tht wld b of n.e hlp

U sd tht sh/ adord u s/ slf cn imgne tht sh/ mght wnt u 2 hve n.e availbl chnce t/ b hppy

i currently am trying to, i currently receive therapy but it just doesn't feel like anything's working rn

 

[Satori Komeiji]

I can relate to how you're feeling. I lost both my grandparents in 2019 and the only two things that helped me were the passage of time and filling in the pain in your heart created in their absence with hobbies or friends or what have you. Meeting new people tends to be helpful and it helps you to avoid closing yourself off to the world which would only make the pain worse.