I'd say it definitely plays a part for me. It has in many ways tainted how my life has turned out. There are jobs I would have gone for and jobs I would have been better at if I wasn't so socially anxious. That said- I don't have the desire to be around people. I don't actually feel lonely that much. If I could get by continuing to work and live at home on my own, that would go a fair way to stop me wanting to CTB. Part of the motivation to CTB is being forced back into the world to do another job that I'll likely hate.
Same, I don't have the desire to be around people either. I don't feel lonely either. In fact, I prefer being alone. Tbh I don't understand why people want to be around people…I hate the fact that we're forced into the world and into society, and that we're forced to be around people and talk to and interact with them. I hate that it's necessary for survival and to exist in this world. I hate the fact that we have to work to live. Having to eventually participate in society is a main factor in me wanting to ctb
I'm shy but most people don't notice that or simply misunderstand me. I have a hard time maintaining my gaze into people's eyes I'm talking to. It probably looks like I'm shady when actually it's shyness.
I am not socially anxious at all in spite of shyness. I've been successful in groups and done public speaking and had a lot of acceptance and I also have a don't care attitude towards the opinions of others. People don't believe me when I say I'm shy, aside from a few very aware individuals. I told my shrink I am shy and he was amazed.
I feel you, eye contact is so intimidating. I hate looking at people's eyes or making eye contact with people, and I hate that we're expected to. I also don't know how to maintain my gaze and what's the "appropriate" gaze. I think this is cuz of my Asperger's…Usually I wear sunglasses whenever I can to avoid eye contact and having to look people in the eye
