Venting So weird to search for a job while depressed

[_Gollum_]

It feels so weird to search for a job while depressed/low-energy because the entire concept is to "sell yourself" and your abilities but it's like....I have pretty much nothing to offer at the moment. I literally just need money. Please give me money.

I can't even make a good impression while interviewing because I just have this dour, sullen look on my face the whole time. The only time I smile is when I suddenly remember "Oh crap I'm in an interview I'm supposed to look congenial!" But it only lasts like two seconds and then I go back to my previous expression and promptly forget to smile for another 10 minutes.

If I could answer their questions honestly:

"Why are you the right fit for this role?" "I'm not."
"Why should we hire you instead of someone else?" "You shouldn't, go hire that other person lmao."
"What can you offer us that other candidates can't?" "A steady stream of jokes about killing myself that are sure to make everyone else deeply uncomfortable."
"Why are you interested in this role/company?" "Because I quit my job and then made a failed suicide attempt and now I need money."

 

[yabujin]

I got fired on my first day within 30 minutes jfl.
Never began, it's also due to me being partially inсel because I was irritating her and she had a pfp on telegram of her with her bf. (Also fun fact - women dress the worst for those who they're not into, she was pretty unattractive compared to what she looked like in the pic. Women are chameleons)
Also she said due to making them repeat same lines at times. Atp I'm in a suhman condition which pure cbtfuel