So tired of life

[ChynaWhyte]

I have tried so many times and different ways to take my life that is crazy.. When I first got married I started to believe that maybe there was a reason for it never working but after almost 15 years of verbal, emotional and physical abuse I'm at the point where I'm willing to try any and everything to just leave this earth and stop the pain.. I've tried 3 times this year and haven't had any success.. Shooting myself and it misfired, hanging myself and the beam and rope both broke, tried taking 30 different pills (tabs, percs, oxy, colidpin, ecstacy and subs) and just passed out and got sick. Can anyone please help me out with any other ideas of what I can do that will work??? The first time I remember trying I was 9 after my dad died and I took his shotgun to the barn and attached it to the pulley string from the upper part of the barn. It went off but I guess where I was only 9 the kickback messed up the aim and it just sent a whole lot of buckshot into the barn wall, the next time I was 10 when the state placed me in my mom's custody and I took her or maybe her dudes gun(might have been her dealer or pimp) it was a 357 s&w that had just been cleaned and freshly loaded, when I went to shot myself it just clicked.. (That has happened every time I've tried since with different types of guns) Tried jumping, hanging, cutting, and pills as well and nothing has worked yet..

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of it all, it's so dreadful and cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how unbearable it can get, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot, I hope you find the peace you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[darksouls]

welcome to sasu

 

[TBONTB]

Welcome to the site. I hope you find support and kindness here. Sorry you are suffering. There are a lot of resources on the site you might want to poke around and explore.