Venting so tired all the time

[true-ending]

i jjst want to go to bed and never wake up. my brother would be sad but i'm sure grief would push him to finding someone better. every day i wake up and i think about how nobody would really miss me. sometimes i let myself think that he'd be the only person to miss me, when i feel a little better, but. i dont think he would. he always deserved someone that didn't fucking worry him. he's suicidal too he has to understand why i want to die so badly.

i almost did it last week and today. i pressed my razor blade to my wrist even though i knew there was only, like, a 2% chance of death, and i just. couldnt find the bravery to do it. like a coward. i just want it to be over so i can rest already. i!m tired all the time and it hurts to live but i know if i die he'll blame himself for not being a 'better brother' (even though IM the shit brother lmao)

i just want to die. i'm so tired of being alive just to distract myself for days on end.

 

[strawberry_lemons]

Im sorry you have all these feelings swirling in you. I hope you feel even a little happy for a single moment, hmu if you ever need anyone <3

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it's really understandable just wishing to permanently escape from all the suffering that existing brings as existing here really can be so dreadful, I hate how leaving this world isn't as straightforward as just choosing never waking again. But anyway I wish you the best, I'm also tired of existing here, in my case I've always wished for a peaceful, eternal sleep.

 

[StolenLife]

I understand, and I'm sorry that you are feeling that way. I've always believed that depressed brain wants more sleep because it wants to escape reality. You are not a coward. I wish that you find what you are looking for, whether in this life or ctb.