So off-topic but a lack of identity is making me seek opinions

[Naked Weapon]

So this is a question in two parts, and one I'm curious to know if any other trans people relate to:

Does anyone feel hollow due to a lack of identity? More specifically, when pursuing your true identity, does the limbo between coming out and a "completed" transition make you feel lost? I've been on and off HRT for a few years and I just feel so much doubt over whether or not I'll feel content where I'll end up or if I'm "doing it right". I know I've been trans for as long as I remember but now that I'm starting a social transition I feel like I'm between an old identity and the identity I was always meant to have. This grey area is torturous and I wanted to know if anyone has good tools to manage it.

Secondly, and, perhaps, stupidly, I was wondering if I could get some opinions on a middle name? I won't put my first name or last name for obvious reasons, and nothing's legal yet. My father recommended "Pris" and my mother recommended "Ciel" and I was curious to know what would be nice. I haven't been on here very long so I'm not expecting anyone to know what would suit me, but I'd love some guidance. A name would make me feel so much happier about where I am and I've been stuck for so long.

 

[Scythe]

I'm also currently in the grey area, and yeah it's fucking awkward sometimes. But I prefer it to before where I couldn't pass. I guess think about the favourite part of socially transitioning? I'm rlly happy that I pass well now, and some ppl gendering me correctly is better than nothing. Just try to focus on the positives, you can always socially transition faster by telling everyone in your life as soon as possible.

I can't really help you with the name though, my name ideas are usually has fantasy vibes, like Lumine or Flare.