So my SN is here tomorrow

[smalleiers]

Well I don't know how to start, but I spent the better part of this week preparing for my SN to arrive. Even ordered some from DMC as backup, but both other sources seem to deliver, albeit one with a week long delay.

I currently have planned an outing with my mother for Easter Sunday and wanted to meet my half sister one last time, but I think it might not come to pass. I have prepared most of it and have my regimen ready.
I will start the day by having some coffee to wake up while playing some games and finish off preparations: Post letters; write my note with instructions: upload my collected works of poetry (could do that here too if anyone is interested in shitty amateur poetry). I'd also love to go out for a final haircut and visit places that are of key importance to me:, The botanical garden, an old church and my old therapists office building and the local park. I will try to catch up with my brother via discord and have some final chats and tell him stuff that lays close to my heart. After doing all of that I will head home where my flatmate is out to play DnD with her friends.
There I will begin preparing my regimen which will be as follows:

00:00 - 23:00 : Spend final day, fasting after coffee, no liquids either

23:00 Take 600mg of Ibuprofen with no water

23:15: Prepare a Bucket in case of vomiting Take 500mg of Quetiapine as AE and start weighing out 3 cups of 35g SN in 50ml Water, also empty 1 20ml bottle of Diazepam into a cup, mix it with 20mg crushed Lorazepam and drink it. Add a bit of water if necessary

24:00 down first SN drink and lay on right side of bed with music running. Hope for a peaceful ending

I'm not quite sure about the benzo combination and whether I should take it immediately with the AE or drink it right before/after the SN drink. Anyone got any tips? I will maybe make a separate thread about it tomorrow, but since barely anyone here knows me and I'm not here long enough I might just use this one.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

Well I don't know how to start, but I spent the better part of this week preparing for my SN to arrive. Even ordered some from DMC as backup, but both other sources seem to deliver, albeit one with a week long delay.

I currently have planned an outing with my mother for Easter Sunday and wanted to meet my half sister one last time, but I think it might not come to pass. I have prepared most of it and have my regimen ready.
I will start the day by having some coffee to wake up while playing some games and finish off preparations: Post letters; write my note with instructions: upload my collected works of poetry (could do that here too if anyone is interested in shitty amateur poetry). I'd also love to go out for a final haircut and visit places that are of key importance to me:, The botanical garden, an old church and my old therapists office building and the local park. I will try to catch up with my brother via discord and have some final chats and tell him stuff that lays close to my heart. After doing all of that I will head home where my flatmate is out to play DnD with her friends.
There I will begin preparing my regimen which will be as follows:

00:00 - 23:00 : Spend final day, fasting after coffee, no liquids either

23:00 Take 600mg of Ibuprofen with no water

23:15: Prepare a Bucket in case of vomiting Take 500mg of Quetiapine as AE and start weighing out 3 cups of 35g SN in 50ml Water, also empty 1 20ml bottle of Diazepam into a cup, mix it with 20mg crushed Lorazepam and drink it. Add a bit of water if necessary

24:00 down first SN drink and lay on right side of bed with music running. Hope for a peaceful ending

I'm not quite sure about the benzo combination and whether I should take it immediately with the AE or drink it right before/after the SN drink. Anyone got any tips? I will maybe make a separate thread about it tomorrow, but since barely anyone here knows me and I'm not here long enough I might just use this one.

Why 35grams of SN not 25grams as per the protocol?

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck in your plans.

 

[smalleiers]

Why 35grams of SN not 25grams as per the protocol?

Im quite a big guy. Way over 120kg's and this is said so in the Bible mega thread

 

[dggtscccvfd]

Im quite a big guy. Way over 120kg's and this is said so in the Bible mega thread

Logical.

 

[smalleiers]

I wish you the best of luck in your plans.

thank you! I will probably stick around a bit before taking the regimen and try to document my demise.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I'm not quite sure about the benzo combination and whether I should take it immediately with the AE or drink it right before/after the SN drink. Anyone got any tips?

The only tip there is with regard to benzos is to possibly time how long it takes to feel any affects from the benzo you're planning to use and time it accordingly when you feel comfortable and not as anxious because this'll be a rather anxious event but as always, be safe and cautious with yourself and know your limits.

 

[rozeske]

I hope it all goes well for you!

 

[smalleiers]

The only tip there is with regard to benzos is to possibly time how long it takes to feel any affects from the benzo you're planning to use and time it accordingly when you feel comfortable and not as anxious because this'll be a rather anxious event but as always, be safe and cautious with yourself and know your limits.

Alright thanks a lot! Onset for lora is 15-30 and Diazepam is 15-60 so its a good idea to take both with the AE !! This will make things easier. I also have no tolerance for benzos, but I can handle my quetiapine after downing 400mg for close to 2 weeks now lol.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Alright thanks a lot! Onset for lora is 15-30 and Diazepam is 15-60 so its a good idea to take both with the AE !! This will make things easier.

Yeah, since these are intermediate in terms of time to take effect, I think 30-60 mins before sn makes sense, maybe 5 to 10 mins after AEs but it's your regimen after all and you can only do what makes you feel comfortable.

I also have no tolerance for benzos, but I can handle my quetiapine after downing 400mg for close to 2 weeks now lol.

In that case, a normal therapeutic dose should be good enough due to your low tolerance, I don't see any reason to take a mega-dose like some have since as much as I understand trying to double or even triple the amount of benzos for the sake of si, it effects everyone to a degree so it's better to establish a threshold for yourself as an individual.

 

[smalleiers]

Yeah, since these are intermediate in terms of time to take effect, I think 30-60 mins before sn makes sense, maybe 5 to 10 mins after AEs but it's your regimen after all and you can only do what makes you feel comfortable.

In that case, a normal therapeutic dose should be good enough due to your low tolerance, I don't see any reason to take a mega-dose like some have since as much as I understand trying to double or even triple the amount of benzos for the sake of si, it effects everyone to a degree so it's better to establish a threshold for yourself as an individual.

Yeah 10 mins after AE seems about right. I guess I will have to find out how it will go, but I know due to my past attempt that SI will be rather quiet anyways.

Hmm the 20ml diazepam are in total 250mg diazepam and that should be decent enough to knock me out cold after the SN. Why would you recommend taking a lower dose? I want to black out asap after taking the SN.

 

[xmissellax]

Yeah 10 mins after AE seems about right. I guess I will have to find out how it will go, but I know due to my past attempt that SI will be rather quiet anyways.

Hmm the 20ml diazepam are in total 250mg diazepam and that should be decent enough to knock me out cold after the SN. Why would you recommend taking a lower dose? I want to black out asap after taking the SN.

Be careful with perhaps falling asleep before you can even take the SN - that's the danger of taking a megadose of benzos, and the recovery for that I've heard is not pretty. It's quite hard to get all the timings right and everything. You may also not be able to take a second glass if you vomit immediately after the first glass of Sn. For the least risk and most chance of success, a small dose of benzos just for the nerves seems like a good idea, but yes will include a bit of uncomfortability for 15 minutes. The sn will knock you out after 10-15 minutes by itself but I understand the SI and fear of symptoms, 15 minutes can seem like a lifetime as organs shut down and dizziness persists.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Why would you recommend taking a lower dose? I want to black out asap after taking the SN.

Because I don't think it's necessary to take that high of a dose, in fact, it may come back to be a problem. I get the idea of blacking out after taking sn to not feel as much of the effects of sn as possible but, in case you do vomit and there's no telling how much you will after drinking it and how soon, you may need to take more since most will vomit but the longer it stays in your system, that may not be the case but you just never know how things may go. In theory, it works because I've seen cases in medical literature where benzos were used but due to low tolerance, you may not need a massive dose intended for sedation from the outset, a therapeutic dose may just be fine but if I were you, I'd possibly test lora and dia at normal doses separately first then see how it affects then together as you intend before your regimen. Having looked at past regimens that included benzos, many didn't exceed 5mg for example, whether it's Xanax or lorazepam, it really comes down to individual comfort but being aware that it may come at the cost of what I just stated could be a problem, taking a 2nd drink.

I guess I will have to find out how it will go, but I know due to my past attempt that SI will be rather quiet anways.

That sounds like things will work together for you then.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

. It's quite hard to get all the timings right and everything. You may also not be able to take a second glass if you vomit immediately after the first glass of Sn.

I don't think it's that hard honestly, timing of the doses is easier when you know where your tolerance level is and how much you plan to use and so, as a test dose, you take a little less and time it according to how long it takes effect, something like Xanax may be fasted than Lorazepam for example. The hard part of all of this is drinking the sn, the easier part of it is the regimen and tailoring it according to what you're gonna use for it to make it more comfortable.

15 minutes can seem like a lifetime as organs shut down and dizziness persists.

That only happens after the Methb have reached severe levels and this happens after unconsciousness, this is where metabolic acidosis, dysthymia possibly leading to cardiac arrest happens, not before. The description of symptoms before this have been noted and these symptoms tend to be from 10%-40% methb levels.

 

[xmissellax]

I don't think it's that hard honestly, timing of the doses is easier when you know where your tolerance level is and how much you plan to use and so, as a test dose, you take a little less and time it according to how long it takes effect, something like Xanax may be fasted than Lorazepam for example. The hard part of all of this is drinking the sn, the easier part of it is the regimen and tailoring it according to what you're gonna use for it to make it more comfortable.

That only happens after the Methb have reached severe levels and this happens after unconsciousness, this is where metabolic acidosis, dysthymia possibly leading to cardiac arrest happens, not before. The description of symptoms before this have been noted and these symptoms tend to be from 10%-40% methb levels.

True, I was wondering if I should take 3 Xanax 10 minutes before SN, or risk taking it 20-30 minutes before, as I'd only be testing 0.5g first, and with no tolerance, I have no idea if the higher CTB dose of 3mg will knock me out silly compared to 0.5g.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Good luck with your plan. I hope you find peace!

 

[Deleted member 65988]

True, I was wondering if I should take 3 Xanax 10 minutes before SN, or risk taking it 20-30 minutes before, as I'd only be testing 0.5g first, and with no tolerance, I have no idea if the higher CTB dose of 3mg will knock me out silly compared to 0.5g.

Same here, I've tested Xanax a few times and 1mg still does me in after 30 mins or so especially when I begin to feel drowsy, it's subtle but I know when it begins to happens and I know that blacking out isn't far off either. I can imagine what 3mg would be like after a good fasting period along with Beta-blockers.

See, this is why I say a dose of 5-10mg for Xanax, in this example, isn't completely necessary for sn, I think 2-3mg should be fine if you know your tolerance to be generally low. Test it first, get a general of how it takes with 0.5-1mg and work from there with the timing of the meds according to your regimen.

 

[Dliena]

I hope your peace be eternal and good of luck.

 

[Six feet down]

I also have diazepam for my theoretical CTB, but have never taken it.
Should i testing diazepam?

 

[smalleiers]

Be careful with perhaps falling asleep before you can even take the SN - that's the danger of taking a megadose of benzos, and the recovery for that I've heard is not pretty. It's quite hard to get all the timings right and everything. You may also not be able to take a second glass if you vomit immediately after the first glass of Sn. For the least risk and most chance of success, a small dose of benzos just for the nerves seems like a good idea, but yes will include a bit of uncomfortability for 15 minutes. The sn will knock you out after 10-15 minutes by itself but I understand the SI and fear of symptoms, 15 minutes can seem like a lifetime as organs shut down and dizziness persists.

Oh I suffer from chronic insomnia, it takes quite a lot to knock me out completely, but the vomiting part is indeed a potential problem I could run into. I have used both diazepam and Lorazepam in the past as emergency medication but Diaz never more than 20 droplets and Lorazepam Not more than 2mg, neither have caused drowsiness in those doses, but those were far and in-between.

Because I don't think it's necessary to take that high of a dose, in fact, it may come back to be a problem. I get the idea of blacking out after taking sn to not feel as much of the effects of sn as possible but, in case you do vomit and there's no telling how much you will after drinking it and how soon, you may need to take more since most will vomit but the longer it stays in your system, that may not be the case but you just never know how things may go. In theory, it works because I've seen cases in medical literature where benzos were used but due to low tolerance, you may not need a massive dose intended for sedation from the outset, a therapeutic dose may just be fine but if I were you, I'd possibly test lora and dia at normal doses separately first then see how it affects then together as you intend before your regimen. Having looked at past regimens that included benzos, many didn't exceed 5mg for example, whether it's Xanax or lorazepam, it really comes down to individual comfort but being aware that it may come at the cost of what I just stated could be a problem, taking a 2nd drink.

That sounds like things will work together for you then.

I have used both in the past, but only on very small increments and a long time ago hence the no tolerance. I think if I halve the Lora and take 125 of the diaz I should be awake enough to go through with what I want to set in motion. I wish for comfort and eventual anxiety to go away, I think the hardest part will not be the ingestion but the onset of the SN.

I don't think it's that hard honestly, timing of the doses is easier when you know where your tolerance level is and how much you plan to use and so, as a test dose, you take a little less and time it according to how long it takes effect, something like Xanax may be fasted than Lorazepam for example. The hard part of all of this is drinking the sn, the easier part of it is the regimen and tailoring it according to what you're gonna use for it to make it more comfortable.

That only happens after the Methb have reached severe levels and this happens after unconsciousness, this is where metabolic acidosis, dysthymia possibly leading to cardiac arrest happens, not before. The description of symptoms before this have been noted and these symptoms tend to be from 10%-40% methb levels.

I agree, I try to find something that makes all of it easy and agreeable, I think that keeping the SN down is the important part, also potentially having the capability of taking the second cup. Being completely knocked out sounds like a bad idea than, thank you again Goku for providing me with assistance, you're a godsend!

Good luck with your plan. I hope you find peace!

In a weird way, I am already at peace. Never has a decision and thought process made me feel so at peace and ease with everything. Thank you Praestat, may you find your peace too!

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Being completely knocked out sounds like a bad idea than, thank you again Goku for providing me with assistance, you're a godsend!

No problem, a lot of information is confusing so I try to help where I can.

I wish for comfort and eventual anxiety to go away, I think the hardest part will not be the ingestion but the onset of the SN.

That's exactly it, looking at unsuccessful attempts where the regimen was followed as closely as possible should give you an idea of what you'll have to deal with and how best to prepare for it. For example, the tachycardia may induce anxiety in a lot of people so looking at getting Beta-blockers may not be a bad idea at all.

I have used both in the past, but only on very small increments and a long time ago hence the no tolerance. I think if I have the Lira and take 125 of the diaz I should be awake enough to go through with what I want to set in motion.

Tolerance only builds up considerably if you take high doses regularly, taking them in increments months apart won't do much.

 

[Groot]

Well I don't know how to start, but I spent the better part of this week preparing for my SN to arrive. Even ordered some from DMC as backup, but both other sources seem to deliver, albeit one with a week long delay.

I currently have planned an outing with my mother for Easter Sunday and wanted to meet my half sister one last time, but I think it might not come to pass. I have prepared most of it and have my regimen ready.
I will start the day by having some coffee to wake up while playing some games and finish off preparations: Post letters; write my note with instructions: upload my collected works of poetry (could do that here too if anyone is interested in shitty amateur poetry). I'd also love to go out for a final haircut and visit places that are of key importance to me:, The botanical garden, an old church and my old therapists office building and the local park. I will try to catch up with my brother via discord and have some final chats and tell him stuff that lays close to my heart. After doing all of that I will head home where my flatmate is out to play DnD with her friends.
There I will begin preparing my regimen which will be as follows:

00:00 - 23:00 : Spend final day, fasting after coffee, no liquids either

23:00 Take 600mg of Ibuprofen with no water

23:15: Prepare a Bucket in case of vomiting Take 500mg of Quetiapine as AE and start weighing out 3 cups of 35g SN in 50ml Water, also empty 1 20ml bottle of Diazepam into a cup, mix it with 20mg crushed Lorazepam and drink it. Add a bit of water if necessary

24:00 down first SN drink and lay on right side of bed with music running. Hope for a peaceful ending

I'm not quite sure about the benzo combination and whether I should take it immediately with the AE or drink it right before/after the SN drink. Anyone got any tips? I will maybe make a separate thread about it tomorrow, but since barely anyone here knows me and I'm not here long enough I might just use this one.

I wish you a peaceful journey I'd love to read ur poetry

 

[smalleiers]

No problem, a lot of information is confusing so I try to help where I can.

That's exactly it, looking at unsuccessful attempts where the regimen was followed as closely as possible should give you an idea of what you'll have to deal with and how best to prepare for it. For example, the tachycardia may induce anxiety in a lot of people so looking at getting Beta-blockers may not be a bad idea at all.

Tolerance only builds up considerably if you take high doses regularly, taking them in increments months apart won't do much.

Okay so I think I'm on a good path then. I hope that tachycardia will not be that hard, I expect it to feel like an oncoming panic attack and I know how to handle that. I will not have access to BBs unfortunately,
Yeah I figured, but I'm also quite heavy so it might take quite a lot to really ease me in

I wish you a peaceful journey I'd love to read ur poetry

Thank you! Okay I will drop a link here then: Bad poetry goes here. I'd love to get some feedback, not many people have seen it and some things are in German as well.

 

[smalleiers]

It's finally here!!! Guess I'll get along with my day now

Spoiler

 

[Deleted member 65988]

It's finally here!!! Guess I'll get along with my day now

Spoiler

View attachment 133706

Did you order from a chemical supplier and somewhere else ? Also, I'd advise you blur out any info that could lead back to the source being compromised as much as you did put up a spoiler which I do appreciate.

 

[smalleiers]

Did you order from a chemical supplier and somewhereelse ? Also, I'd advise you blur out any info that could lead back to the source being compromised as much as you did put up a spoiler which I do appreciate.

Both are chemical suppliers, I will edit the post in a few seconds to blur things out^^. Blood test also soon

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Both are chemical suppliers, I will edit the post in a few seconds to blur things out^^. Blood test also soon

Should most likely be pure as stated, is it 99% AR Grade?

 

[smalleiers]

The first was advertised as >98%, second is 99%AR afaik.

Should most likely be pure as stated, is it 99% AR Grade?

 

[smalleiers]

Okay! I'm at home again, blood test was as expected so it's a go. Haven't drank or eaten anything but coffee today and got most of the things I wanted to done. Only sad exception was the botanical garden that was closed due to strong wind currents.

New timetable is as follows:

22:00 Take 600mg Ibuprofen

22:15 prepare Bucket, take 500mg Quetiapine as AE, then weigh out 3 cups à 35g SN and 50ml Water

22:30 Take 50mg of Diazepam and 5mg of Lorazepam, maybe smoke a little bit of CBD.

23:00 Take SN Drink #1, turn on some music, lay in bed and pray to God that I don't vomit

23:?? If vomiting occurs, take another 5mg of Lorazepam and down 2nd SN drink

I'll still be a bit around and maybe document how things go, I'm getting a bit nervous now but my will has gotten me this far and it hopefully won't stop. Thank you and warm greetings to everyone I interacted with here over my short time. If this account isn't active in the next 2-3 days I'd love it to be deactivated.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Okay! I'm at home again, blood test was as expected so it's a go. Haven't drank or eaten anything but coffee today and got most of the things I wanted to done. Only sad exception was the botanical garden that was closed due to strong wind currents.

New timetable is as follows:

22:00 Take 600mg Ibuprofen

22:15 prepare Bucket, take 500mg Quetiapine as AE, then weigh out 3 cups à 35g SN and 50ml Water

22:30 Take 50mg of Diazepam and 5mg of Lorazepam, maybe smoke a little bit of CBD.

23:00 Take SN Drink #1, turn on some music, lay in bed and pray to God that I don't vomit

23:?? If vomiting occurs, take another 5mg of Lorazepam and down 2nd SN drink

I'll still be a bit around and maybe document how things go, I'm getting a bit nervous now but my will has gotten me this far and it hopefully won't stop. Thank you and warm greetings to everyone I interacted with here over my short time. If this account isn't active in the next 2-3 days I'd love it to be deactivated.

All the best going forward.