Discussion So many pro lifers atm on this forum!!!

[LittleJem]

Dear Pro Lifers on the forum! I want to be dead! Also, lots of other people on this forum want to be dead. That's why we are here.

If I was enjoying anything in my life then I would not be spending all day on this forum thinking about how to be dead.

Also many of us have tried medication, therapy, whatever and we still want to be dead.

And some people have life circumstances or health issues that mean they want to be dead.

 

[tidalwxves]

Dear Pro Lifers on the forum! I want to be dead! Also, lots of other people on this forum want to be dead. That's why we are here.

If I was enjoying anything in my life then I would not be spending all day on this forum thinking about how to be dead.

Also many of us have tried medication, therapy, whatever and we still want to be dead.

And some people have life circumstances or health issues that mean they want to be dead.

Sometimes it not about being pro life, sometimes its just about reviewing options with people. Personally, I feel the same things the other people who came to this site feel. It's how I ended up here, but I still think its important to talk to people about whats going and see if another solution is possible. If it isn't then they are an adult and I respect their choice, but I have encountered people who really are in a rushed head space who benefit from someone helping them see another perspective. It's always worth it to see where someone is at and if there is a way to help them. Some people come here very lonely and for them its a cry for help, I wouldn't want to miss someone like that. I can't change people's mind, I don't expect to. But I just want to help people stay aware.

 

[Passerby]

Sometimes a fair few 'pro lifers' can be misread as someone that just cares about a fellow human being.

 

[LittleJem]

Where is there though that people who want to be dead just get heard?

If people cared about me then I could just say goodbye and get a lethal injection. Instead, I wake up suffering, suffer all day, go to bed suffering. Now it's so bad I am disabled again by it, lying on the floor unable to move all day. Not washing, brushing teeth. And suffering. I am done with trying to get better. I want to be dead.

 

[tidalwxves]

Where is there though that people who want to be dead just get heard?

If people cared about me then I could just say goodbye and get a lethal injection. Instead, I wake up suffering, suffer all day, go to bed suffering. Now it's so bad I am disabled again by it, lying on the floor unable to move all day. Not washing, brushing teeth. And suffering. I am done with trying to get better. I want to be dead.

You are getting heard, people are engaging with you, asking you questions, People are making an effort to reach out and support. If there is something more specific you need to express what it is you want.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Sometimes it not about being pro life, sometimes its just about reviewing options with people. Personally, I feel the same things the other people who came to this site feel. It's how I ended up here, but I still think its important to talk to people about whats going and see if another solution is possible. If it isn't then they are an adult and I respect their choice, but I have encountered people who really are in a rushed head space who benefit from someone helping them see another perspective. It's always worth it to see where someone is at and if there is a way to help them. Some people come here very lonely and for them its a cry for help, I wouldn't want to miss someone like that. I can't change people's mind, I don't expect to. But I just want to help people stay aware.

When we are so depressed we can't leave our rooms/homes we are in a deep dark space. We might not see options for us that others looking in can. I'm a mother a nurturer by nature. I can't help but to be there if someone is asking advice. I am looking in from the outside. Everyone has the right to CTB on their terms when they are ready. I would feel horrible if some 14 yr old boy posted about his first break up and encouraged the method he used. When his post might say lost my gf she was my first what do I do? He is clearly seeking some advice not necessarily the way to CTB. Look at the membership- not all are here to end in CTB. Some are here to vent and have people to relate to. Lets face it no one in our lives can relate to us at all. I am beyond surprised at the sense of belonging I feel here. There are so many caring people here. Having been abused by others I think it makes us more caring towards others. Here we are broken yet somehow can find a way to say I'm here for you- whatever decision you make. You wanna talk I'm here. I don't think it has anything with pro lifers. I think those are some of our many lurkers. Only YOU know whats best for YOU. I truly am sorry for what has brought you here, it's that mother & compassionate person in me that can't help but to feel that way. When your time come I truly hope it brings you the peace this world could not provide you.

 

[Silver]

This is a pro-choice, not pro-suicide forum. That means that ideally all members should try to find out if someone who says they are ctb are doing it in full knowledge and not impulsively. If you were posting now saying you were going to ctb, I would (a) want to find out the reasons and (b) want to know the method. For most people, being suicidal means they can't see that there are any other options available other than to die. In some cases, they really have exhausted any other options, have tried to get better multiple times, have clear and irrefutable reasons for dying, etc. For others, it's an impulsive decision and the suicidal person is unable to see any other alternative until the problems are put into perspective and options are given. Asking for a method also gives people an idea of how impulsive a person might be (for example, most regular visitors here know ODs won't work). Asking why someone wants to ctb and offering suggestions isn't being pro-life, it's being responsible imo.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Where?

 

[Silver]

I just found out today I have melanoma to add to my list of severe diseases. I'm here all day too. I actually got bullied here this afternoon. I'm shaking. This site is my only comfort usually. I just didn't want to end up in a hospital or nursing home.
I'm one half step away from that.

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis, and also sorry to hear you were bullied here. Have you reported the person?

 

[whywere]

I just found out today I have melanoma to add to my list of severe diseases. I'm here all day too. I actually got bullied here this afternoon. I'm shaking. This site is my only comfort usually. I just didn't want to end up in a hospital or nursing home.
I'm one half step away from that.

OMG!!! My heart goes out to you in everyway possible. I had gall bladder cancer, they took it out, then came all the chemotherapy, but me and the medical team beat it down and out! I hope and wish that you beat the crap out of the melanoma. Being a cancer survivor myself, I wish you a speedy recover from the damn crap. If you need someone to walk with you through this, I am here for you. I am not online 100% of the time, but when I come on I will be here for you and reply!!!!! LOVE,LOVE and STRENGTH go out to you my global family member!

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I just found out today I have melanoma to add to my list of severe diseases. I'm here all day too. I actually got bullied here this afternoon. I'm shaking. This site is my only comfort usually. I just didn't want to end up in a hospital or nursing home.
I'm one half step away from that.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

 

[Ghost2211]

Thanks, i'm not used to having anyone say anything nice to me and it means a lot. I just hope the melanoma takes me out fast.

Please read up on it. it makes me sad to think you would suffer that much.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Thanks, i'm not used to having anyone say anything nice to me and it means a lot. I just hope the melanoma takes me out fast.

Do you plan on not treating it? Sorry, I meant, if you wanted to share. Apologies if it's too personal of a question!

 

[Ghost2211]

OP, do you have any examples of pro life content? I'm curious if you mean when we tell people to try to step back from the impulse ledge.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Thanks, i'm not used to having anyone say anything nice to me and it means a lot. I just hope the melanoma takes me out fast.

I see you as a very kind genuine person and a valuable member of this forum. I hope that melanoma is a small spot they are able to take care of easily. Sending you love and hugs

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I am scared of getting covid and called a few dermatologists and tried to offer money if they would let me have the biopsies while sitting in my car so I don't have to go into a place where I might get it but they wouldn't. I suppose I will wait until I can't take it any more then go to the hospital to die. Maybe in hospice. Hopefully.

I'm too scared to try to attempt ctb. So maybe this is nature's way of ending it for me.

I'm sorry. So there is still a chance that it is of the benign type? I hope you get this all sorted soon.

 

[clayp]

Sometimes showing a word of strenght and a virtual hug doesn't mean we are pro lifers.

 

[Ghost2211]

I am scared of getting covid and called a few dermatologists and tried to offer money if they would let me have the biopsies while sitting in my car so I don't have to go into a place where I might get it but they wouldn't. I suppose I will wait until I can't take it any more then go to the hospital to die. Maybe in hospice. Hopefully.

I'm too scared to try to attempt ctb. So maybe this is nature's way of ending it for me. I have other severe progressive illnesses. I'm hoping this disease will be kinder to end things than the other ones are.

As scary as it can be. Never assume it's cancer till you know it is. I have respiratory issues, so I understand your covid concern. I've had to go in a couple times since I have a small situation that will require surgery. The waiting rooms were nearly empty, and everyone wears masks. They also fever check everyone before entry. One of the bigger issues of the pandemic is people are ignoring health problems due to covid risk. It's sad the state the world is in.

 

[tidalwxves]

I just found out today I have melanoma to add to my list of severe diseases. I'm here all day too. I actually got bullied here this afternoon. I'm shaking. This site is my only comfort usually. I just didn't want to end up in a hospital or nursing home.
I'm one half step away from that.

Sorry to here this news, I hope this site continues to be a place where you find comfort

 

[Mr2005]

Dear Pro Lifers on the forum! I want to be dead! Also, lots of other people on this forum want to be dead. That's why we are here.

If I was enjoying anything in my life then I would not be spending all day on this forum thinking about how to be dead.

Also many of us have tried medication, therapy, whatever and we still want to be dead.

And some people have life circumstances or health issues that mean they want to be dead.

Dear Littlegem lots of people are here because they don't want to be dead or they'd already be dead. They just don't know what else to do. Sorry if the truth hurts you can file it under pro life whatever the fuck that means

 

[Ghost2211]

I know it is. I will try to post some photos of it later. If that takes me out it will be better than the other ways I'm facing from my illnesses probably. I might hang around for a year or less without treatment. That would fit my schedule.
Ive been noticing but not paying attention to what felt like a scab then suddenly it dawned on my why would I have a scab on the back inner upper thigh so got a good look at it and... it's not a scab. It's a black crab shaped spot about the size of my fingernail. Black and feels like sand paper, irregular shape. Little claws on the edges. Then I've noticed other spots on my leg I had assume were sun spots but.. they aren't. They are rough also. I know what they are.

I've seen melanoma before from working in a dermatologists office years ago.

Thank you for taking the time to share that. yeah, that doesnt sound good. I suppose in the end it might be better for loved ones to think you died of cancer rather than suicide. It's in an area you may not have seen too. Much love to you. I hope your journey isn't too painful. I know you're smart, and know the path ahead.

 

[TheQ22]

Dear Littlegem lots of people are here because they don't want to be dead or they'd already be dead. They just don't know what else to do. Sorry if the truth hurts you can file it under pro life whatever the fuck that means

I think most people here are (or rather don't want to be) neither dead nor alive, they are in between states. ironically like (as I mentioned in a previous post) Schroedingers cat.

Also can I ask the poster above, if you're on a suicide forum and so presumably don't want to be alive, why did you take treatment for cancer?

Sorry, not trying to be insensitive, but isn't it the easy way out to say "no treatment?"

 

[LenkaX]

Dear Pro Lifers on the forum! I want to be dead! Also, lots of other people on this forum want to be dead. That's why we are here.

If I was enjoying anything in my life then I would not be spending all day on this forum thinking about how to be dead.

Also many of us have tried medication, therapy, whatever and we still want to be dead.

And some people have life circumstances or health issues that mean they want to be dead.

You write it exactly like I feel it! I've tried everything, including therapy and psych drugs (now I have to take 4 types of psych drugs each evening). I'm desperate, ugly and fat. No woman will ever like me or find me attractive. I feel already dead for many years. I only want to kill myself, but due to survival instinct it's very difficult for me. I wish all the pro lifers keep away from this site!

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I think most people here are (or rather don't want to be) neither dead nor alive, they are in between states. ironically like (as I mentioned in a previous post) Schroedingers cat.

Also can I ask the poster above, if you're on a suicide forum and so presumably don't want to be alive, why did you take treatment for cancer?

Sorry, not trying to be insensitive, but isn't it the easy way out to say "no treatment?"

Haha I think you wrote about Schroedingers cat in one of my threads of "ctb by surprise"

What about the cancer?? I didn't follow, sorry

Okay never mind, I saw

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I just found out today I have melanoma to add to my list of severe diseases. I'm here all day too. I actually got bullied here this afternoon. I'm shaking. This site is my only comfort usually. I just didn't want to end up in a hospital or nursing home.
I'm one half step away from that.

I'm so sorry to hear that

 

[DyingAlf]

Dear Littlegem lots of people are here because they don't want to be dead or they'd already be dead. They just don't know what else to do. Sorry if the truth hurts you can file it under pro life whatever the fuck that means

Not necessarily.
for example: I am not here because I don't want to be dead. I am here because other people have prevented me from completing Suicide and other times Survival Instinct (SI) has got in my way, I have been so close to death but have had it snatched away. I'm here to feel validated, to be able to discuss thoughts/feelings that I have to be too careful discussing irl, and to offer support to my peers.
I will only be here until I successfully ctb.

 

[Infinite Conscious]

I know it is. I will try to post some photos of it later. If that takes me out it will be better than the other ways I'm facing from my illnesses probably. I might hang around for a year or less without treatment. That would fit my schedule.
Ive been noticing but not paying attention to what felt like a scab then suddenly it dawned on my why would I have a scab on the back inner upper thigh so got a good look at it and... it's not a scab. It's a black crab shaped spot about the size of my fingernail. Black and feels like sand paper, irregular shape. Little claws on the edges. Then I've noticed other spots on my leg I had assume were sun spots but.. they aren't. They are rough also. I know what they are.

I've seen melanoma before from working in a dermatologists office years ago.

Two days ago I also found out (in the mirror) I have 7-8 of those on my back, looking and feeling exactly as you described.
And I also thought - here comes skin cancer on top of ALL the other reasons.
I'm not going to a doctor, either... let it take its course.
When the physical pain starts, then I will not have an excuse anymore to postpone the inevitable.

 

[Meditation guide]

, then I will not have an excuse anymore to postpone the inevitable.

Good point. It spreads to the lungs, brain, intestines, any organ. Probably very painful.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

You write it exactly like I feel it! I've tried everything, including therapy and psych drugs (now I have to take 4 types of psych drugs each evening). I'm desperate, ugly and fat. No woman will ever like me or find me attractive. I feel already dead for many years. I only want to kill myself, but due to survival instinct it's very difficult for me. I wish all the pro lifers keep away from this site!

I know what I say probably means nothing. I had a dating ad don pof it's been there since before my son died. In my pof add I put I don't care about your looks or your money or toys- what is important to me if who you are inside. I don't want some good looking guy who treats me like shit.. I wanted someone who would treat me good. To me what makes someone ugly is treating people mean.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

What makes you say there are many pro-lifers here?