Discussion So depressed im obsessing over her. Help

[cylus46]

As people who seen my threads before knows im a depressed, mentally ill, self deprecating guy and i am hoping to ctb soon.
This thread I want to discuss the topic of depression and the gaping pit that is mental illnesses makes me love in a very obessesive way. Now to clarify I am NOT toxic to my partner with it but it's mainly toxic for me as I put my partner first and worship them and their entire being, even if they're a bad person. So context-

I just met this girl last night. She's pretty, gorgeous, cute, hot, she seems like an amazing person, a lot of our interest are the same, she's funny, I only known her a few hours at a party and I just wanted to hold her so badly and cuddle with her. But she's also taken, but she's also taken by a peice of shit guy, the whole night she drunkenly dissed him and exposed him for being a mid selfish fucking prick, but she's still taken nonetheless, but it didn't stop my feelings. In fact it made me want her more. Want to take her away from him, he dosent deserve her. But I don't even know why I'm thinking like that I don't normally think like that but I just been so numb, angry and sad lately she just appeared in my life and my brain is going crazy.

After the party all I can do is think about her, I dm her because she got pretty drunk and I wanted to make sure she was ok. She responded and I felt so happy texting her, happiness i haven't felt in a long time. She's so pretty. I want her. I feel like i need her. Not even in a sexual way but just to see her, feel her, smell her, hear her.

Anyways the last text was me making a light hearted joke and she replied with "" and nothing else. Now I feel like the conversation has hit a dead end and now I feel like she's not interested and withing the span of a few hours I felt the most happy I ever felt to the most depressed I felt. I don't know why my emotions flipped flopped so hard. I barely know this girl, she wouldn't even have remembered my name had it not been for my Instagram, she's taken anyways, she's probably finds me annoying, I hate myself. Why am I so obsessed

Please tell me someone relates. Anyone i feel like i sound insane. I'm losing my mind. I hate this.

 

[EmptyBottle]

mmm, my 2 close friends found others to date I think, tho when they asked which one I preferred, an answer to that question could have meant I was the person they chose... tho I still hung out with them till high school was over


I have had ppl randomly stop replying too...

Also, saying "Hi" can help, it sometimes took me a few hi's over a few days since a user was offline

 

[cylus46]

I have had ppl randomly stop replying too...

Also, saying "Hi" can help, it sometimes took me a few hi'sovera few days since a user was offline

Thank you!

 

[JudasWolverton]

As people who seen my threads before knows im a depressed, mentally ill, self deprecating guy and i am hoping to ctb soon.
This thread I want to discuss the topic of depression and the gaping pit that is mental illnesses makes me love in a very obessesive way. Now to clarify I am NOT toxic to my partner with it but it's mainly toxic for me as I put my partner first and worship them and their entire being, even if they're a bad person. So context-

I just met this girl last night. She's pretty, gorgeous, cute, hot, she seems like an amazing person, a lot of our interest are the same, she's funny, I only known her a few hours at a party and I just wanted to hold her so badly and cuddle with her. But she's also taken, but she's also taken by a peice of shit guy, the whole night she drunkenly dissed him and exposed him for being a mid selfish fucking prick, but she's still taken nonetheless, but it didn't stop my feelings. In fact it made me want her more. Want to take her away from him, he dosent deserve her. But I don't even know why I'm thinking like that I don't normally think like that but I just been so numb, angry and sad lately she just appeared in my life and my brain is going crazy.

After the party all I can do is think about her, I dm her because she got pretty drunk and I wanted to make sure she was ok. She responded and I felt so happy texting her, happiness i haven't felt in a long time. She's so pretty. I want her. I feel like i need her. Not even in a sexual way but just to see her, feel her, smell her, hear her.

Anyways the last text was me making a light hearted joke and she replied with "" and nothing else. Now I feel like the conversation has hit a dead end and now I feel like she's not interested and withing the span of a few hours I felt the most happy I ever felt to the most depressed I felt. I don't know why my emotions flipped flopped so hard. I barely know this girl, she wouldn't even have remembered my name had it not been for my Instagram, she's taken anyways, she's probably finds me annoying, I hate myself. Why am I so obsessed

Please tell me someone relates. Anyone i feel like i sound insane. I'm losing my mind. I hate this.

Generally women perceive male assertiveness as the equivalent to kindness. Not saying "be a dick and nice guys finish last muhh redpill bullshit" its just feminine psychology through evolutionary hard wiring for their survival.

She wouldn't talk about him if she wanted him. It's horrible he's like that. We can agree, nobody deserves someone like that.

So this is your chance. It will be hard. But here's what you got to do

Only text her once a day. Leave her delivered or opened until you respond. That creates a control dynamic. You guys aren't dating. Distance creates familiarity. Familiarity creates attraction.
Don't make jokes unless they relate to a situation you are or were in.
Act uninterested. She'll consider you as an option.

Wait and watch.

 

[Dejected 55]

Men and women play too many games, and are encouraged by too many people to play those games. I can't say my way has ever worked for me... but the whole "act uninterested" and pretend she doesn't matter to make her chase you thing... or the counter when girls "test" you... I don't care for any of that crap.

 

[cylus46]

Generally women perceive male assertiveness as the equivalent to kindness. Not saying "be a dick and nice guys finish last muhh redpill bullshit" its just feminine psychology through evolutionary hard wiring for their survival.

She wouldn't talk about him if she wanted him. It's horrible he's like that. We can agree, nobody deserves someone like that.

So this is your chance. It will be hard. But here's what you got to do

Only text her once a day. Leave her delivered or opened until you respond. That creates a control dynamic. You guys aren't dating. Distance creates familiarity. Familiarity creates attraction.
Don't make jokes that unless they relate to a situation you are or were in.
Act uninterested. She'll consider you as an option.

Wait and watch.

Ok ill try

Men and women play too many games, and are encouraged by too many people to play those games. I can't say my way has ever worked for me... but the whole "act uninterested" and pretend she doesn't matter to make her chase you thing... or the counter when girls "test" you... I don't care for any of that crap.

Interesting

 

[Ashu]

Men and women play too many games, and are encouraged by too many people to play those games. I can't say my way has ever worked for me... but the whole "act uninterested" and pretend she doesn't matter to make her chase you thing... or the counter when girls "test" you... I don't care for any of that crap.

What is your way? I take it you've mostly been alone?

 

[Dejected 55]

What is your way? I take it you've mostly been alone?

I've always been alone. My way has always been to try and get to know a woman first, whether that was at work or school or wherever I encounter her regularly... than if we've had a few good conversations and she seems friendly to me, I'll tell her I like her and ask her out. No one I've ever asked out has said yes. I had dates from matchmaking sites about 20 years ago, but not second dates.

I know my way of being honest and open is not working, but I have to be who I am and I don't like people who play games and trick and test and build relationships off of lies. Those almost never work out from what I've observed so I don't know why men and women keep picking their mates on those strange games time and again.

 

[Ashu]

I've always been alone. My way has always been to try and get to know a woman first, whether that was at work or school or wherever I encounter her regularly... than if we've had a few good conversations and she seems friendly to me, I'll tell her I like her and ask her out. No one I've ever asked out has said yes. I had dates from matchmaking sites about 20 years ago, but not second dates.

I know my way of being honest and open is not working, but I have to be who I am and I don't like people who play games and trick and test and build relationships off of lies. Those almost never work out from what I've observed so I don't know why men and women keep picking their mates on those strange games time and again.

I'm the same, or was. I'm fifty five, I got married at thirty-six, but my romantic history before was sad, because this is how I was.

 

[bigballsniqqa]

As people who seen my threads before knows im a depressed, mentally ill, self deprecating guy and i am hoping to ctb soon.
This thread I want to discuss the topic of depression and the gaping pit that is mental illnesses makes me love in a very obessesive way. Now to clarify I am NOT toxic to my partner with it but it's mainly toxic for me as I put my partner first and worship them and their entire being, even if they're a bad person. So context-

I just met this girl last night. She's pretty, gorgeous, cute, hot, she seems like an amazing person, a lot of our interest are the same, she's funny, I only known her a few hours at a party and I just wanted to hold her so badly and cuddle with her. But she's also taken, but she's also taken by a peice of shit guy, the whole night she drunkenly dissed him and exposed him for being a mid selfish fucking prick, but she's still taken nonetheless, but it didn't stop my feelings. In fact it made me want her more. Want to take her away from him, he dosent deserve her. But I don't even know why I'm thinking like that I don't normally think like that but I just been so numb, angry and sad lately she just appeared in my life and my brain is going crazy.

After the party all I can do is think about her, I dm her because she got pretty drunk and I wanted to make sure she was ok. She responded and I felt so happy texting her, happiness i haven't felt in a long time. She's so pretty. I want her. I feel like i need her. Not even in a sexual way but just to see her, feel her, smell her, hear her.

Anyways the last text was me making a light hearted joke and she replied with "" and nothing else. Now I feel like the conversation has hit a dead end and now I feel like she's not interested and withing the span of a few hours I felt the most happy I ever felt to the most depressed I felt. I don't know why my emotions flipped flopped so hard. I barely know this girl, she wouldn't even have remembered my name had it not been for my Instagram, she's taken anyways, she's probably finds me annoying, I hate myself. Why am I so obsessed

Please tell me someone relates. Anyone i feel like i sound insane. I'm losing my mind. I hate this.

you're not alone, i also get very obsessive like this

 

[Dejected 55]

I'm the same, or was. I'm fifty five, I got married at thirty-six, but my romantic history before was sad, because this is how I was.

I am also 55... I just never got past a second date with anyone, and only got there one time.

 

[badkarma4618]

its very relatable!! i've been there myself. in my experience, falling for someone who's still in a relationship, even a messy or unhealthy one, often leads to more heartache than happiness. sometimes, if her bf isn't treating her well, she may feel pressured to stay and might turn to you mainly for comfort and attention. please look after your own heart, move gently, and like others have suggested let your feelings unfold slowly rather than showing all your cards at once.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I went through years and years of limerence- obsessive crushes on guys. In a way, I think obsessiveness is fairly common at the start. The excitement of meeting someone we feel so in tune or attracted to. Especially when a part of us wants to be 'saved' or, understood by someone.

I think it's worth maybe looking the term up though. There are lots of videos on YouTube about it. It was so disruptive in my life. Learning about it has meant I've been able to control it more than it controlling me.