I'm so divided between hanging and SN. Both are accessible and feesible for me.
I find that SN is so popular here in this forum. It's frequently discussed and chosen, and many people go the extra miles to attain SN. As I face few obstacles to buy SN, it becomes less singular or appealing to me. I see this method has no more advantages/pros or appeal over hanging.
For me, the pros and cons of each method when compared to each other be like:
SN:
This is my super long view on these two methods. After writing this, I see myself lean more towards hanging, even though I don't favor it that much.
What's about you guys? Why do you choose one over another? What are your views towards these 2 methods?
I find that SN is so popular here in this forum. It's frequently discussed and chosen, and many people go the extra miles to attain SN. As I face few obstacles to buy SN, it becomes less singular or appealing to me. I see this method has no more advantages/pros or appeal over hanging.
For me, the pros and cons of each method when compared to each other be like:
SN:
Pros:
- Seems like a peaceful and non-violent way out. You can carry out on your bed while listening to music. You can sleep to your departure.
- Seemingly evokes less SI.
- Has few or minor after-effects if the attempt fails.
- A good alternative for people who cannot ctb by hanging due to the lack of archor points.
Cons:
- It's far far less accessible than hanging. In some places, it's extremely expensive and you even have to bypass strict laws to purchase some.
- It requires lots of planning and knowledge.
While it only takes under 30 mins for you to lose consciousness after taking SN, the prior planning is terribly demanding and time-consuming. First, you need to find the place selling SN, which many people have to lose their mind over. Then, you have to wait for the delivery for a long time. Then, you have to prepare the medics to take along with SN. You then have to follow the strict protocol involving fasting and antiemetic regimen for over a day before consuming SN.
This is the huge turn off for me. For several times, I find myself not having enough energy to carry out a single step, and my embarrassingly low level of courage is repeatedly challenged after each phase of the protocol/plan.
Besides, the long wait and complex protocol undermine the suicidal urge and create chances for SI to surge. Like, you stand a really high possibility of changing your mind or chickening out during the time of preparing.
- While 30 mins to lose your consciousness is quite quick, it's still much slower than hanging, which only takes few seconds or a minute if it's done right. I've read a paper about people changing their mind and managing to call for help after swallowing SN.
- Although this method is peaceful and quite painless, you definitely still suffer from discomfort, and even significant physical pain if it's done wrongly. And the complex protocol just leaves you with the high chance of doing it wrong. Nevertheless, I still believe the discomfort/pain is bearable.
Hanging:Pros:
- It's super accessible and doable. Although it has technical aspects and there are many ways to do it wrong, hanging is still undeniably easy to carry out. Ropes are too easy to acquire without other people noticing. The setup can be carried out quickly within minutes. The biggest difficulty is finding the archor point, but I see several posts here showing how to do it with only doorknob, door frame, chunk bed,...
The quick and simple setup is too suitable for people with low energy and relying on fluctuating courage and suicidal urge like me.
- The whole process is quick. As I read in the sticky thread, you only need around an hour to guarantee your death. You lose consciousness within seconds. So there is low chance of other people intervening.
Cons:
- It's terrifying. Too terrifying. Just like jumping which only takes few seconds to commit, hanging also requires a terrible amount of courage to overcome SI to take the leap. I chicken out every time I have the rope around my neck.
- Pain, terrifying pain. Even though you're only conscious for few seconds or a minute, the physical pain of choking is unbearable enough for many people to drop the act.
- It leaves a haunting scene. People who find me after commiting will definitely be traumatized. Even I myself get so scared when envisioning it or seeing other people's hanging scenes.
And personally, one of the reasons why I still cannot ctb is I view death as an utterly unfair and cruel end for me. I believe I'm like many people, seeking death or suicide after suffering so much. I cannot bear the fact that the last thing I experience in life is a painful, haunting, ugly death. I don't think I ever deserve that, and death by hanging is too painful and ugly in such a way. That's why I believe I with many people here want to find a much more peaceful, gentle alternative.
This is my super long view on these two methods. After writing this, I see myself lean more towards hanging, even though I don't favor it that much.
What's about you guys? Why do you choose one over another? What are your views towards these 2 methods?
