SN research improving mood?

[blanket99]

I've been researching and reading up on SaSu about CTB by SN to see other's experiences and what I should/shouldn't do if that time arrives. What's surprising is that the time spent doing this has given me some temporary relief in just being down and miserable.

Sounds really morbid when typed out, but does anyone else feel the same?

 

[jessisme]

Absolutely it did and once I actually received my SN it got even better.

 

[blanket99]

If tracking is accurate, that day should be tomorrow for me, although I haven't found too much data in my source besides one person confirmed they used and never came back, and packaging for shipment. I'm a little nervous of that, for sure!

 

[releasespieces]

Its very common for people to get excited, happy or feel a sense of relief when discovering a way out. It happened to me 3 years ago when I first purchased SN, but it wore off over time when my circumstances changed and I had more time to reflect. It's perfectly normal to think you've found a solution to all of your problems, a simple and permanent one that will make all of the burdens associated with life disappear. For you to derive a sense of pleasure or release from it only makes sense.

 

[blanket99]

Its very common for people to get excited, happy or feel a sense of relief when discovering a way out. It happened to me 3 years ago when I first purchased SN, but it wore off over time when my circumstances changed and I had more time to reflect. It's perfectly normal to think you've found a solution to all of your problems, a simple and permanent one that will make all of the burdens associated with life disappear. For you to derive a sense of pleasure or release from it only makes sense.

I'm with ya, it's temporary in regards that other doubts creep in for me, like "what if the SN I'm getting is incorrect/bad?" or other "what happens if..." thoughts occur. Even now, I don't think I'm ready to make plans or even decide once delivery day hits.

I truly appreciate the resources here and being able to read what other's have thought or experienced, just assumed I would feel the exact opposite. Thanks! :)

 

[TapeMachine]

Yeah, I definitely relate.

Anytime I find a topic of interest and start hyperfocusing on it, I'm happy and content (as has been the case with SN recently.) Unfortunately, I always lose interest in things after a while, and then I'm right back to feeling desolate, lost, painfully-bored.

I'm glad you've felt some sort of relief. ❤ Every little bit helps, even if it's temporary

 

[pillow933]

Of course it's natural to feel happy or relieved when you find out there's a source of relief for the pain you're currently feeling, even if it is very morbid. I think it's extremely common and most people who manage to get their hands on a method say the same thing on this forum. The initial excitement does wear off pretty quickly, but it's definiteley comforting if anything knowing that you have that option at the back of your mind if things get worse. I've always had a feeling that having a method available makes some people less suicidal as it reduces their anxiety and makes them less hyperfixated on suicide, because any thoughts they have are quickly remidied by the fact that "it's there if I need it", and they can move on, as opposed to constantly dwelling on it.

 

[anx_out]

yes, that has been my experience on here, too. it's a solution + you're doing something you want to be doing and putting effort into it. that's fulfilling to your brain, even if it's cbt

 

[Euthanza]

It made all the difference for me, not bad, really not bad at all.

 

[releasespieces]

Oooo…pretty…shiny

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes- I like to try and be pro-active about solving my problems. Researching methods is being pro-active about the biggest underlying problem of all for me- life.

It feels even better when you start buying stuff for your method- so that you know you're as good to go as you can be- when the time comes. (In my experience anyhow- still- other people have also posted about being 'excited' when stuff arrives- so- we're not alone.)