cowlover1252
Student
- Aug 21, 2026
- 104
Package seized at customs. Waited almost a whole month for delivery and have to start over. I fail at everything I knew this was going to happen. Nothing ever goes my way and every time something good happens, the pendulum swings back the other way and it all gets ruined. It almost feels like a pattern to me, when something positive happens in my life, my first thought is always: something is going to go wrong soon I can feel it. Positive things have always had a negative connotation for me because of this.
I am afraid of good things happening in my life because I know that just means something 2x worse is coming my way soon. This is not exclusive to the current situation, I just get completely fucked every single time things are looking better for me. I am not even surprised at this, just disappointed, and angry at an outcome I fully expected from the beginning. With my luck, of course it was going to get seized and I don't even know what to do now. I was getting impatient with the shipping already taking longer than expected and it was all for nothing.
I've already given or thrown away almost everything I own. I even threw away essential items, keeping only the bare minimum of what I'll need to get by for a few weeks, thinking I would be gone soon enough to not have to keep so many possessions. I got rid of all my extra toothpastes, mouth wash bottles, melatonin, deodorant, and several other things. I thought that if I receive my SN on time, I should get rid of every product that won't be getting touched by the time I CTB. I just wanted to keep what I would need to get by in my final days and nothing else. I'm already starting to run out of products that I should have kept my backup stock of. I do not want to have to buy more things that will end up being partially used then thrown in the trash. I have never owned many things because I am personally against overconsumption and hyper consumerism, I've only ever wanted to own things that serve a real purpose and are important for me to have and nothing extra.
I've already donated all my money to charity and only have $1k left because I expected myself to be able to CTB much sooner. I tried to leave myself with more than enough to get me by in my final times, but it might not be enough. I regret giving away all my money in the previous weeks and not waiting until I actually had my SN in hand to do it. I gave my brother my collection of watches and I fucking lost one of them myself and could not get it back so I bought him a new one of equal value ($500). $500 would not have been a lot of money to me before I gave it all away, but that expense dipped into the little amount that i had left. I'm worried I might have to take out a loan or go into credit card debt. I worked so hard trying to be successful and saved a significant amount of money for someone my age, gave it all away, and now I'm not sure if I'm even going to have enough money to get by while I wait for my new shipment of SN.
Despite my usual equanimity I feel genuinely angry over this. It is almost impossible for something to push my buttons, but this has crossed the line. Having a CTB date in mind, I felt even more laid back but especially numb. I almost forgot what it feels like to be so pissed off over something, there is very little things that can make me feel so frustrated. I have been so desperate to CTB ASAP. I tried my hardest to find and acquire SN and research shipping logistics and how to receive it safely, but my package was taken for inspection. I am trying to end my misery and can't even succeed at it.
Other people here who have bought from this same seller have received theirs fine. I knew something went wrong when someone else who ordered from this seller after I did was received by FedEx and sent out for delivery while my tracking number remained stagnant. Fedex sent me a letter in the mail and I don't even want to open it, I don't have the strength to grab my mail that's sitting in the kitchen.
The day my package was seized by customs, the seller immediately sent out a new one on the same day rather than waiting a week before creating the label like they did last time, so at least they are showing some urgency with this situation. I'm not sure how long it will be until it gets to fedex but hopefully it will be faster this time.
I am afraid of good things happening in my life because I know that just means something 2x worse is coming my way soon. This is not exclusive to the current situation, I just get completely fucked every single time things are looking better for me. I am not even surprised at this, just disappointed, and angry at an outcome I fully expected from the beginning. With my luck, of course it was going to get seized and I don't even know what to do now. I was getting impatient with the shipping already taking longer than expected and it was all for nothing.
I've already given or thrown away almost everything I own. I even threw away essential items, keeping only the bare minimum of what I'll need to get by for a few weeks, thinking I would be gone soon enough to not have to keep so many possessions. I got rid of all my extra toothpastes, mouth wash bottles, melatonin, deodorant, and several other things. I thought that if I receive my SN on time, I should get rid of every product that won't be getting touched by the time I CTB. I just wanted to keep what I would need to get by in my final days and nothing else. I'm already starting to run out of products that I should have kept my backup stock of. I do not want to have to buy more things that will end up being partially used then thrown in the trash. I have never owned many things because I am personally against overconsumption and hyper consumerism, I've only ever wanted to own things that serve a real purpose and are important for me to have and nothing extra.
I've already donated all my money to charity and only have $1k left because I expected myself to be able to CTB much sooner. I tried to leave myself with more than enough to get me by in my final times, but it might not be enough. I regret giving away all my money in the previous weeks and not waiting until I actually had my SN in hand to do it. I gave my brother my collection of watches and I fucking lost one of them myself and could not get it back so I bought him a new one of equal value ($500). $500 would not have been a lot of money to me before I gave it all away, but that expense dipped into the little amount that i had left. I'm worried I might have to take out a loan or go into credit card debt. I worked so hard trying to be successful and saved a significant amount of money for someone my age, gave it all away, and now I'm not sure if I'm even going to have enough money to get by while I wait for my new shipment of SN.
Despite my usual equanimity I feel genuinely angry over this. It is almost impossible for something to push my buttons, but this has crossed the line. Having a CTB date in mind, I felt even more laid back but especially numb. I almost forgot what it feels like to be so pissed off over something, there is very little things that can make me feel so frustrated. I have been so desperate to CTB ASAP. I tried my hardest to find and acquire SN and research shipping logistics and how to receive it safely, but my package was taken for inspection. I am trying to end my misery and can't even succeed at it.
Other people here who have bought from this same seller have received theirs fine. I knew something went wrong when someone else who ordered from this seller after I did was received by FedEx and sent out for delivery while my tracking number remained stagnant. Fedex sent me a letter in the mail and I don't even want to open it, I don't have the strength to grab my mail that's sitting in the kitchen.
The day my package was seized by customs, the seller immediately sent out a new one on the same day rather than waiting a week before creating the label like they did last time, so at least they are showing some urgency with this situation. I'm not sure how long it will be until it gets to fedex but hopefully it will be faster this time.
