SN CTB in 24 hours

[Sniffer]

Hope you get the freedom you are after when the time comes.

I feel like you, would be nice to live but that I should die and never seeing family again is the hardest part but hope they all will understand your decision.

(For paracetamol etc, just little water as poss but enough for you to swallow.)

Thanks. I'm so sorry you are in the same situation. I know if they could experience the condition they would truly understand.

 

[Endsticle]

Hey good luck. I hope everything goes smoothly. May you find peace.

 

[Sniffer]

Some random person message me with a guilt trip on how his mothers and best friends suicide ruined his life. I presume it was a 'pro lifer'?

I genuinely have no chance at any quality of life. I'm an anchor holding our whole family down. My family are financially provided for their entire life and will be wealthy plus my identical twin boys will have a bond better than a parent. Even my wife has come to terms with the fact I can't live as an invalid.

Didn't like getting that message. Everyone's circumstances are different.

 

[botch3d]

Some random person message me with a guilt trip on how his mothers and best friends suicide ruined his life. I presume it was a 'pro lifer'?

I genuinely have no chance at any quality of life. I'm an anchor holding our whole family down. My family are financially provided for their entire life and will be wealthy plus my identical twin boys will have a bond better than a parent. Even my wife has come to terms with the fact I can't live as an invalid.

Didn't like getting that message. Everyone's circumstances are different.

You know what is best for you. No one else does

 

[universe]

I'm sorry for you, this must be difficult enough already. I continue to send you all my prayers.
This confirms my hunch that pro-lifers/journalists/spies roam the forum. There are topics, requests that I would call strange recently. If you feel the need to talk, you can send me a private message, no worries.
I hope everything will go well for you.

 

[Sniffer]

I'm sorry for you, this must be difficult enough already. I continue to send you all my prayers.
This confirms my hunch that pro-lifers/journalists/spies roam the forum. There are topics, requests that I would call strange recently. If you feel the need to talk, you can send me a private message, no worries.
I hope everything will go well for you.

Thank you

 

[PArazi]

The best I can do for my family would be to make my ctb looks like natural. Natural death (heart attack). They are Catholics. For them, suffer indefinitely in this world is a benediction, something we all must go through. I think a lot of them are preoccupied with themselves. They are afraid of being alone in this world. They were indoctrinated, accustomeds like animals.... To think and act of this way.

They say "Look, Jesus died on the cross", "While there is life, there is hope".

Life, hope... They took it from you and assigned it to someone else... I believe in god. That religion is good. But...

 

[Sniffer]

The best I can do for my family would be to make my ctb looks like natural. Natural death (heart attack). They are Catholics. For them, suffer indefinitely in this world is a benediction, something we all must go through. I think a lot of them are preoccupied with themselves. They are afraid of being alone in this world. They were indoctrinated, accustomeds like animals.... To think and act of this way.

They say "Look, Jesus died on the cross", "While there is life, there is hope".

Life, hope... They took it from you and assigned it to someone else... I believe in god. That religion is good. But...

Even the Catholic Church changed its stance on suicide deaths under Pope John Paul 2nd. It states:

"Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide"

I firmly fit in this category as do many here.

Unfortunately there are no ways to make it look like a natural death (without assistance) - inert gas eg. But you would be incriminating your assistant.

 

[universe]

So many of us here want CTB to feel accidental, or die a natural death. It's so understandable suicide is so stigmatized…

The best I can do for my family would be to make my ctb looks like natural. Natural death (heart attack). They are Catholics. For them, suffer indefinitely in this world is a benediction, something we all must go through. I think a lot of them are preoccupied with themselves. They are afraid of being alone in this world. They were indoctrinated, accustomeds like animals.... To think and act of this way.

They say "Look, Jesus died on the cross", "While there is life, there is hope".

Life, hope... They took it from you and assigned it to someone else... I believe in god. That religion is good. But...

I have a lot of trouble with these kinds of thoughts: I imagine that if they think that, it's because their problems are still bearable. But how not to have empathy towards the lives of certain people ? How not to understand that some people endure things that are too hard for them? Not to mention the guilt-inducing thoughts of the style: God does not give you a load that you cannot bear.
I have the impression that many favor the notion of life by mimicry, automatism, because that is what we have been told since childhood. Without ever thinking and questioning this model….

 

[Sniffer]

Anyway. Five more hours to SN. I'm numbed by Valium and acceptance of no other alternative.

 

[Dyingsoon]

I am so sorry life got you to this point bro! I am with severe Tinnitus, Hyperacusis and Noxacusis so believe me I want ot die everyday. I have N and as all my ear issues progress I think I am gonna follow you soon. I really wish you the best with whatever happens. I just wanted you to know - I understand....

 

[temporary]

Had my last bit of solid food. Only a few red grapes between now and 3pm.

Getting a little nervous. Hope it goes ok. My disabling condition was moderate this morning but is severe now again so SI is declining.

Accepting never seeing my family again the hardest part.

I'm worried about how it'll affect my family if I CTB, I'm sure most of us wish just the simple understanding that leaving would be much better for us than staying and enduring more than what we already have. Some of us don't have the same opportunities to get better or be happy.

Safe travels and I'm sorry you're at this point, I hope to meet you in a better place one day on the other side.

 

[spacehardware]

I'm sorry it's come to this for you, but respect your decision. I hope your bus journey is smooth and pain free. I'll be thinking of you this evening. I hope you have some beautiful music to listen to as the time draws near. We're here with you.

 

[Shivali]

:Herz: May you find peace and freedom

 

[Sniffer]

I am so sorry life got you to this point bro! I am with severe Tinnitus, Hyperacusis and Noxacusis so believe me I want ot die everyday. I have N and as all my ear issues progress I think I am gonna follow you soon. I really wish you the best with whatever happens. I just wanted you to know - I understand....

Oh man I'm so sorry to read that. It is perverse how an essential sense can turn against you so viciously.

For me it's Tinnitus, ETD but mainly Middle Ear Myoclonus with forced eyelid closure syndrome. I literally have electricity flowing through my skull all day as the Myoclonus is such a rare subset of an already rare disease. Only a couple of hundred cases ever.

I hope you get relief my friend.

 

[PArazi]

[...]I have the impression that many favor the notion of life by mimicry, automatism, because that is what we have been told since childhood. Without ever thinking and questioning this model….

"To the neon god they made" "God above all"

These version of god causes me suffering. These are not the things that God expects of us. God is inside each one of us, inside our hearts. In doing good. This is my version of God. He is not condemns me, and neither of you

 

[Nikki2020]

I hope you will be at peace soon my friend. ❤ I will be following you soon.

 

[Dyingsoon]

Oh man I'm so sorry to read that. It is perverse how an essential sense can turn against you so viciously.

For me it's Tinnitus, ETD but mainly Middle Ear Myoclonus with forced eyelid closure syndrome. I literally have electricity flowing through my skull all day as the Myoclonus is such a rare subset of an already rare disease. Only a couple of hundred cases ever.

I hope you get relief my friend.

My prayers are with you man. I hope you find peace and life in the other side is beautiful. It has got to be after all this suffering here on Earth. I won't try to convince you it will get better and stuff. Tinnitus usually does for the majority of people though. I don't know about the myoclonus.
I am sure you have already researched everything for your condition and tried what you thought was best. I know ear issues can be devastating. I am here if you need to talk to someone.

 

[Sniffer]

My prayers are with you man. I hope you find peace and life in the other side is beautiful. It has got to be after all this suffering here on Earth. I won't try to convince you it will get better and stuff. Tinnitus usually does for the majority of people though. I don't know about the myoclonus.
I am sure you have already researched everything for your condition and tried what you thought was best. I know ear issues can be devastating. I am here if you need to talk to someone.

I've seen the worlds best. It's just a rare condition that creates objective Tinnitus as it's muscular. That is Tinnitus that can can detected by Doctors etc. and can be heard by others. It's the muscle spasming into bone that really kills though. All in perspective. I had a good life and my family are healthy despite some major challenges as regards my children.

 

[Dyingsoon]

I've seen the worlds best. It's just a rare condition that creates objective Tinnitus as it's muscular. That is Tinnitus that can can detected by Doctors etc. and can be heard by others. It's the muscle spasming into bone that really kills though. All in perspective. I had a good life and my family are healthy despite some major challenges as regards my children.

Life is so unfair and can turn in a blink ot an eye. Believe me I know. I really hope your family is not affected greatly in the long term. I am sure that's the most important for you. You seem really considerate person and I am sure you dont deserve that what happened to you... You are a true warrior battling this shit for years man. I know no one truly understands but another sufferer.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

Per ardua ad astra

 

[whitefeather]

Oh man I'm so sorry to read that. It is perverse how an essential sense can turn against you so viciously.

For me it's Tinnitus, ETD but mainly Middle Ear Myoclonus with forced eyelid closure syndrome. I literally have electricity flowing through my skull all day as the Myoclonus is such a rare subset of an already rare disease. Only a couple of hundred cases ever.

I hope you get relief my friend.

Thank you so much for posting . It helps so much for those who have to do this alone with no family acceptance.

 

[Dead Meat]

I want to wish you @Sniffer a very painless, comfortable and pleasant journey and may you have never-ending peace and serenity you Beautiful Soul.

 

[Sniffer]

Thanks guys. Just listened to my wannabe funeral songs. Feel they might be a little rocky but hopefully get my way. Will start preparing the SN soon. Start final regimen at 10pm and SN at 11pm.

Feel strangely relaxed but heartbroken for my wife.

Tbh she has been held back by my illness for years now so hopefully with time and healing she will be free to enjoy her life to the fullest. She does acknowledge though I can't live like this. She is young and a great person so I truly hope she finds love again.

Will sign off soon. Thanks for all the support.

 

[whitefeather]

Wow. Eternal Thanks .

 

[Dyingsoon]

Goodbye man. I wish you well! I hope we meet in a better place some day.

 

[Andry387]

Oh man I'm so sorry to read that. It is perverse how an essential sense can turn against you so viciously.

For me it's Tinnitus, ETD but mainly Middle Ear Myoclonus with forced eyelid closure syndrome. I literally have electricity flowing through my skull all day as the Myoclonus is such a rare subset of an already rare disease. Only a couple of hundred cases ever.

I hope you get relief my friend

Thanks guys. Just listened to my wannabe funeral songs. Feel they might be a little rocky but hopefully get my way. Will start preparing the SN soon. Start final regimen at 10pm and SN at 11pm.

Feel strangely relaxed but heartbroken for my wife.

Tbh she has been held back by my illness for years now so hopefully with time and healing she will be free to enjoy her life to the fullest. She does acknowledge though I can't live like this. She is young and a great person so I truly hope she finds love again.

Will sign off soon. Thanks for all the support.

Have you thought well ?Myoclonus is not a fatal deadly disease.
You can live.
My mother committed suicide, thinking that my brother and I would feel better .
But she only made it worse for all of us.
I 'm not one of those guys who 's pro - life , but your life can still go on .
Is it bad to live with a family ?
I 'm an orphan , I can only dream about it .I have practically no friends except my dog , whose rally I live with .

 

[dustyfurcollector]

I'm probably too late - you may already be in the next world - lucky you! - but I'm in a somewhat similar situation - also athetic - at least i was - with a painful incurable illness - BUT what I really wanted to say to you is: tinnitus, at least the horrid ordinary kind, can be beat! I did it years ago.

Read the room and the posts. They said it's a special kind that has only happened to 500 ppl ever. I think he knows if it's curable or not

 

[temporary]

I'm probably too late - you may already be in the next world - lucky you! - but I'm in a somewhat similar situation - also athetic - at least i was - with a painful incurable illness - BUT what I really wanted to say to you is: tinnitus, at least the horrid ordinary kind, can be beat! I did it years ago.

Don't think this is at all a good thing to say. Sorry but you basically just reworded pro-lifers "you can beat mental health issues, i did it!', I hope that's not what you intended but its definetly what it came off as. Just wish them a peaceful journey to the other side and go on, they haven't discussed another option or expressed active recovery so don't bring it up please.

 

[Made4TV]

Sorry you're getting pushback about a condition you know much better probably than most doctors practicing today. And very sorry you got that pm. Please report it so it doesn't happen to someone else. I'm sorry that people prioritize their pain over yours. I'm sorry life has led you here. I wish there was some other solution but you can be at peace that you have done your due diligence medically and also planned a responsible death. I hope you find some peace…and quiet. I hope you feel loved.