Small Confession

[KafkaF]

This is probably just sad, tbh, but I guess I just wanted to confess it somewhere.

Back when we were together me and my previous gilfriend would sometimes send each other voice messages. And two of the voice messages she sent me have her saying "I love you" and "I love you too" in them.

I still listen to those voice messages sometimes. And I picture that it's her saying it to me now.

I know it's fucking sad but I miss her so much and just for a few seconds this can make me feel just a little bit better. Though afterwards I miss her even more.

You know, sometimes she doesn't even feel real. Like she never really existed or we were never really together. She just feels kind of... abstract. like I have a deep, hollow pit inside of me that's just unexplained. I guess that's a defence mechanism. My mind trying to take distance from her. Because when I think about it all more specifically and less abstractly it hurts so much more.

Without that it's just a constant emotional pain. And a deep, unending hollow pit inside of me that swallows up every last bit of joy.

 

[kwittywhiskerzz!..]

I don't know what to say beside I wish you find someone who will love you lots.

 

[KafkaF]

I don't know what to say beside I wish you find someone who will love you lots.

Thank you. I appreciate the thought. I only want her though.

 

[the_fail_man]

I've never had a girlfriend. So I can't relate nor begin to understand that pain. It's very valid pain. I just can't begin to understand it. I'm too disabled to find love. This thread isn't about me though. Just wanted to send you a hug, man.

 

[KafkaF]

I've never had a girlfriend. So I can't relate nor begin to understand that pain. It's very valid pain. I just can't begin to understand it. I'm too disabled to find love. This thread isn't about me though. Just wanted to send you a hug, man.

*A hug back*

Thank you, kind soul. =)

 

[tronix]

I feel you. I also lost someone (breakup). I'm still grieving.
How long has it been?

 

[KafkaF]

I feel you. I also lost someone (breakup). I'm still grieving.
How long has it been?

5 months.

 

[tronix]

So sorry. Sounds like your wound is pretty fresh. Do you keep in touch with her?

 

[Iris Blue]

I'm sorry you're in this situation. I hope that you don't think of you missing her being sad (like in a pathetic way) that's not the case at all. What you are feeling is unfortunately normal when it comes to people we care about. The situation itself does seem sad and although I cannot relate to what you are particularly going through I understand that painfully lonely feeling with only the memories to hold onto.

Having the voice messages you sent to each other is definitely something good to hold onto but probably not something to listen to all the time because it will just make things seem like it's happening all over again. I know I'm saying this to you but I know I would definitely be doing the same.

I don't know the situation and I'm not going to try to push you to say anything you don't want to go into but, at least from what I read, it seems like things maybe ended on more of a sad note than like an angry one. Is there a chance you guys could make up even if it's not to be a couple again but at least just friends? I'm sure there's much more to it but I do apologize if I misunderstood. I hope no matter what happens you can find a way to make the memories hurt less and move on even though that's pretty shitty advice and seems impossible I wish the very best for you however it plays out.

 

[KafkaF]

I'm sorry you're in this situation. I hope that you don't think of you missing her being sad (like in a pathetic way) that's not the case at all. What you are feeling is unfortunately normal when it comes to people we care about. The situation itself does seem sad and although I cannot relate to what you are particularly going through I understand that painfully lonely feeling with only the memories to hold onto.

Having the voice messages you sent to each other is definitely something good to hold onto but probably not something to listen to all the time because it will just make things seem like it's happening all over again. I know I'm saying this to you but I know I would definitely be doing the same.

I don't know the situation and I'm not going to try to push you to say anything you don't want to go into but, at least from what I read, it seems like things maybe ended on more of a sad note than like an angry one. Is there a chance you guys could make up even if it's not to be a couple again but at least just friends? I'm sure there's much more to it but I do apologize if I misunderstood. I hope no matter what happens you can find a way to make the memories hurt less and move on even though that's pretty shitty advice and seems impossible I wish the very best for you however it plays out.

I don't think there is. But thank you for the well wishes. I do appreciate you taking the time to say this. =)