Slowly drowning

[VampQueen]

I was texting my older brother earlier. We were talking about laptops and video games. I asked him how he was doing since its been a few days since we last texted. I guess it was my pathetic plead for help. I didn't care about what he was up to, I was selfish and had an anterior motive.

I told him about how I consume media surrounding the topic of suicide and depression when I'm suicidal. I also mentioned me working on a book report for All The Bright Places. I sent him the file, waiting for him to get back to me. I don't have total recall on the messages and I'm too lazy to go looking for it, but I believed he suggested I go back to the ward. I won't allow myself to go back until I've failed my next suicide attempt.

For now, doing this book report is keeping me somewhat sane. Keep me occupied while I float on a stupid rock. I'm thinking of going to a near by beach this weekend, i should really be trying to find a job and do Instacart to scrape by. The book/movie is inspiring me to get out the house, plus its been like 90F+ where I live.

For those who are interested in what I wrote so far (work in progress) for my "book report", enjoy.
NOTE: File contains spoilers for the movie and the book.
If you read the file, please leave your thought, questions or concerns.

 

[mikgazer6]

Thank you for sharing, both the post and the report. Some of these quotes be hitting hard. I gotta side with theodore on the sleeping topic as well. It made me interested in knowing what percentage of suicidal people prefer to be sleeping and prefer to be awake. In a prior post you mentioned the idea possibly turning your report into a video or keeping it private. Do whichever is more comfortable. Though I will say (in my opinion, feel free to ignore) having an online video review covering this topic would be cool to view and have publicly available

 

[VampQueen]

Thank you for sharing, both the post and the report. Some of these quotes be hitting hard. I gotta side with theodore on the sleeping topic as well. It made me interested in knowing what percentage of suicidal people prefer to be sleeping and prefer to be awake. In a prior post you mentioned the idea possibly turning your report into a video or keeping it private. Do whichever is more comfortable. Though I will say (in my opinion, feel free to ignore) having an online video review covering this topic would be cool to view and have publicly available

I had the same thought as well. Maybe it would be helpful to those who struggle with mental health, make them feel less alone. Thank you for reading my report!