Slightly clearer in a balanced way

[needhelptodie]

Can't believe I'm posting a thread on this section of the forum but there we are. Hello! I am still a new member, don't want to post too frequently. Mental health services put me on new medication recently, vortioxetine. I've been on SSRIs on and off since 2015/2016 so am used to medication. This one is different to SSRIs but it feels similar, that being said it feels more level for me, avoid SSRIs if you can imo. I am still heavily suicidal, have been that way since 2013 and although I feel clearer I still have a solid reason to commit, you don't feel you've lost 12 years for nothing, even if I feel clearer about it and less at fault for it I still feel it, I still live it. I'm more in control of any future attempts as well, I feel I am in the right place for an attempt which I have been working towards for over a year now, I still have meds/SN ready to go, still feel as cringe, embarrassing, weird, awkward, insecure, creepy as a human can be, still feel my public image is wrecked, too many times I shouted in public, too many embarrassing encounters with people and public services, still feel I used social media in ways that made me lose people (that one is a bit more settled actually, although Reddit 2020-23 was pretty brutal). All I can go on for now that helps settle me into decisions and directions is that there are no guarantees, nothing was ever guaranteed.

 

[AshClouds]

hey, even though we never met, and never knew each other, I really hope the new medication works for you. Here's me rooting for your recovery.

 

[needhelptodie]

hey, even though we never met, and never knew each other, I really hope the new medication works for you. Here's me rooting for your recovery.

I'm not recovering. Thank you for your message.