Lost cherry
Student
- Oct 21, 2023
- 144
Hello everyone. I was planned my ctb this week. But unfortunately, i have big problem and i need to change the date. This is the worst feeling ever. I was so peaceful because i know its time, and now i need to wait about one month. I cant writte here about my reason and what fucking heppened. Every day is just like hell.
So, i want to say that its so difficult to me to wait. But i dont want to change method so i need to wait. I vomited every day, my hands shaking all the time, i have pulse about 130, when i drink propranolol, everything is ok 2hours and after that my pulse is high again. I am unconditionally sad.. My depression is too big. I cant eat, crying all the time.. When i wake up, and when sun is shining outside, i got anxiety panic attack, i just want to disappear from this world. From September to now i only drink 7 pills diazepam (10mg) sometimes helps me to sleep and sometimes not. I dont want to use diazepam too often because i need for my ctb. I cant sleep!!! I am tired I swear, but i cant sleep all night. I have job, and i need to work 1 months more, so this is bih problem for me now. cant go to the psychiatrist, because i work at hospital. And however i dont want to go. Can somebody PLEASE HELP ME AND TELL ME WHAT TO BUY FOR SLEEPING PROBLEMS? I can buy every medicine with descriptions, this is not problem for me. Did someone use something for sleep? Lorazepam maybe, or something else? Can i be resistant to any of this pills for calming and sleeping after one month using it? I am asking this question because I planned ctb with sn, before sn i will use diazepam or something like this and now i am afraid that this medicines will not be successful for my body if i start to use something for sleeping . But i cant like this anymore. I am all the time sick.. Now i am going to work again with any seconds of sleep. So, PLEASE , can someone give me advice what to buy in pharmacy, just for sleeping , and ofc to be normal tomorrow, not stoned, i need to be "normal "at work
So, i want to say that its so difficult to me to wait. But i dont want to change method so i need to wait. I vomited every day, my hands shaking all the time, i have pulse about 130, when i drink propranolol, everything is ok 2hours and after that my pulse is high again. I am unconditionally sad.. My depression is too big. I cant eat, crying all the time.. When i wake up, and when sun is shining outside, i got anxiety panic attack, i just want to disappear from this world. From September to now i only drink 7 pills diazepam (10mg) sometimes helps me to sleep and sometimes not. I dont want to use diazepam too often because i need for my ctb. I cant sleep!!! I am tired I swear, but i cant sleep all night. I have job, and i need to work 1 months more, so this is bih problem for me now. cant go to the psychiatrist, because i work at hospital. And however i dont want to go. Can somebody PLEASE HELP ME AND TELL ME WHAT TO BUY FOR SLEEPING PROBLEMS? I can buy every medicine with descriptions, this is not problem for me. Did someone use something for sleep? Lorazepam maybe, or something else? Can i be resistant to any of this pills for calming and sleeping after one month using it? I am asking this question because I planned ctb with sn, before sn i will use diazepam or something like this and now i am afraid that this medicines will not be successful for my body if i start to use something for sleeping . But i cant like this anymore. I am all the time sick.. Now i am going to work again with any seconds of sleep. So, PLEASE , can someone give me advice what to buy in pharmacy, just for sleeping , and ofc to be normal tomorrow, not stoned, i need to be "normal "at work