Venting Silly little thread about my own feelings

[Ethel]

I'm using this thread as a way to say things without making a new vent thread everytime I'm close to crying or having a panic attack soo...that's all there is

Why am I disposable?
Why does he no love me anymore?
Why did he never tell me how he felt and keep going around circles until it was too late to try
I still don't know how he feels about me at all
Is love the kind of thing that you can just have and completely forgot about it soo quickly?
He keeps undermining the time we had,in the past he talked about marriage or even moving together, now I'm less than I friend even
Says to not mention our relationship anymore in any form or way,he probably wants to forget I even exist to begin, this...this..suck soo freaking much and I don't know what to say or think anymore except that I'm thankful that there's places like this to say things without make myself look shameful, safe or...
I am probably venting more later but rn it's not safe to do so,I have to put a front for others and clean the tears from my safety ,life is

Life is truly a oppressive thing that crushes and spits everything you feel or are,it's such a joke

Ahhhhhhhhh...