Venting Sickness

[clockwork_cat]

My insides are sinking in. I'm typing from the side of the road. I did so many things to bring potential joy. My name is changed, I started a new and exciting career, I moved to the other side of the country, I (mostly) got over the relationship I was in (I just started to hurt myself if I thought of him, like a reflex, so I wouldn't). I made in real life friends. I started to talk. I started drawing again. I've been trying so hard. But I'm here, by myself, drowning. The sickness is all over me. I have nobody. No family, no love, everything is solitary and dark. Im trying to appreciate this and grow from it. But then I think of making breakfast for someone, or the warm hugs of the past, and all of my growth disappears. I'm alone and it doesn't matter if I am or if I'm not. It doesn't matter if I move, if I run, if I stay. It's all a distraction and now that I have accomplished these things.. I can say that I'm ready to go.

I ordered SN and I'm going to go soon. That's all.. im so tired. I hate crying and feeling. Im tired.

I Hope this is my last post here. If it is, goodbye everyone.

Big hug.

 

[Letgo]

Wish you peace and rest. Thinking of you.

 

[FuneralCry]

There really is too much suffering in existing so I imagine it must be a relief knowing the SN is soon to be arriving. I certainly understand that it's tiring feeling trapped here, I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[novarabbit]

My insides are sinking in. I'm typing from the side of the road. I did so many things to bring potential joy. My name is changed, I started a new and exciting career, I moved to the other side of the country, I (mostly) got over the relationship I was in (I just started to hurt myself if I thought of him, like a reflex, so I wouldn't). I made in real life friends. I started to talk. I started drawing again. I've been trying so hard. But I'm here, by myself, drowning. The sickness is all over me. I have nobody. No family, no love, everything is solitary and dark. Im trying to appreciate this and grow from it. But then I think of making breakfast for someone, or the warm hugs of the past, and all of my growth disappears. I'm alone and it doesn't matter if I am or if I'm not. It doesn't matter if I move, if I run, if I stay. It's all a distraction and now that I have accomplished these things.. I can say that I'm ready to go.

I ordered SN and I'm going to go soon. That's all.. im so tired. I hate crying and feeling. Im tired.

I Hope this is my last post here. If it is, goodbye everyone.

Big hug.

Message me

 

[novarabbit]

i think your account is too new so you don't have messaging unlocked, do i know you?

[email protected]

Please msg me here. And yes.

 

[didntmeantohauntyou]

Sounds like you did everything you could. Not everyone gives life such an earnest try before CTB, you should be proud of yourself. I wish you luck and peace on your journey