I think I need to get a new method or something. I keep failing partial and LS multiple nights per week. Then when I found out nobody checks on me I've gone days without eating or hygiene and I'm in my room trying all day. Now I found a way to reef knot the bedpost across the bed and sit down at the other end of the bed on two pillows. I feel myself passing out and my dumb body keeps fighting and I have to try all over again. A couple times I get up fighting not to fall back down, because it got me good a couple times. If I would just let myself fully pass out or stay passed out because even writing this post wastes time. It has to happen now. Texting and calling anybody is a time wasted I should be trying to CTB. I wish my body would stop fighting. I don't even have the time or resources to try another way.
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