Venting shouldnt i be happy?

[JustADeerGirl]

life is going pretty decently right now yet i still want to just walk into a forest and die and i dont understand

the friendship i thought i ruined is fine, yet talking to her makes me feel like shit and even more suicidal, i dont feel comfortable talking to her anymore even tho i should
an old friend who i ruined my ties with forgave me after 2-3 years and stepped back into my life, yet i still feel like shit

i wanna go, but i dont wanna leave what i have right now behind, so i just feel absolutely terrible with no real solution other than to ride it out and wait just incase things get better
and if they dont... oh well, guess ill die?

i have an urge to push everyone away, but i dont want to hurt anyone, not again

 

[whywere]

Take time, sort things out and I hope that you can let the loving spirit that shines through on occasion come through all the time.

Do not have any doubt in your ability to be kind and loving, you are!

I, for one, care about you and want the best for you and please give yourself a break and do not be so harsh on yourself, as you ARE WONDERFUL!

Have a sunny day and hugs.

Walter