Discussion Should i try getting help before i commit?

[sleeplessboyinbed]

SH mentioned
To explain my mental health status as it shows to people: I was always good at covering up my "weirdness" so i never got any mental health help. Never been to a doctor like that. I didn't even get caught with SH. Nobody irl knows anything, i look okay to everybody.
It's not like im unsure of my decision, but i read a lot of opinions, even on here, that i should try it (getting help). Personally, i think im beyond saving and nothing will help me. But something in me still wants to hear outside perspective. Will it make my life worse if i try to get help? And would my confidence in my decision to die impact my chances for getting better?

 

[kovinskin]

Absolutely yes.

I understand exactly what you're saying. My entire life I've covered up everything, believing I was beyond saving and I deserved this. So it came as a shock to my brother when he found me unconscious on the floor having consumed a shit ton of benzos.

It was worth getting help. The thoughts about suicide don't often go away, but they're less frequent and a lot weaker. If you haven't tried getting help ever, you can't know what could've been if you just did. I understand it's very hard, and the mental health system in some countries is kinda flawed. But seeking out professional help more often than not has more benefits than cons.

You think you're beyond saving, but your situation is not unique to what these medical professionals have faced. You believe you're beyond saving, but view it logically; a key consequence of depression is that you lose all hope and believe nothing will ever change. That's what depression is.

Frankly, you can't make the judgement that you're beyond saving if you've never tried being saved. I understand it can be daunting and seem pointless, but try. And REALLY try. Meds, therapy, whatever you feel like COULD help, try it, despite how little motivation you have to get better (which I'm sure you know is also cause of depression). <3

 

[princexhhn]

It's worth a shot, I think. Not much to lose anyway if you were already planning ctb. If you still want to ctb after trying to recover, at least you have tried everything. If you decide to try to get help, I hope the best for you

 

[fadedghost]

During an attempt, the instinct to survive increases greatly. It's not a choice that happens because of not wanting to die, it's more like an instinct to breathe or the need to sneeze. So if you have any ambivalence about dying, if you aren't 100 percent sure you want to end it, it may be much harder to commit suicide than you think.

You seem at least slightly ambivalent to me. Slightly ambivalent people often don't get past survival instinct and that's part of the reason most suicide attempts fail.

I have no idea whether mental health professionals would be able to help you. Some people do have good experiences and get better as a result. My experiences were awful.

I think you're not ready to commit suicide and should do something to try to get better. I would be careful with mental health professionals because they never care about costs. So I would be very aware of what insurance covers, I would be very aware of what you say and the rules of where you live: if you are in a jurisdiction (or country) that doesn't cover involuntary care, you should be aware of that. For instance, if a 19 year old went to a therapist in the USA, and they used something like better health and expected to pay $500 total for some therapy sessions, and then if they said "Yep, I'm strongly considering suicide, have a plan, and could end things at any time," that 19 year old will likely get involuntarily hospitalized and may leave involuntary hospitalization with a 50,000 bill that will keep getting bigger with interest and either needs to be paid from any future wages or needs to be wiped out with bankruptcy. A bankruptcy means it's much, much harder to rent a place on your own if you are feeling better. It will make it harder to change cities if looking for a job. It will make it harder to buy a home if you wanted that.

So you may go from a situation where you were suicidal, and ambivalent and wouldn't have actually been able to ever commit suicide (since most suicides fail), to a situation where you are completely financially fucked. So just research the rules, research your insurance, and be aware that any mental health professional can involuntarily hospitalize you at any time if they feel like it's appropriate.

Regarding mental health psychotropic medications, some of them work only slightly better than a sugar pill, and sometimes people do get better with talk therapy and medication.

Often times, regular exercise (like jogging or hiking) has more of an anti-depressant effect than SSRIs, especially if you are doing ANY community activity that involves others (ie, volunteering, joining a group on meetup.com, etc). The problem is, if you are too depressed to exercise, and too depressed to do community activities (activities with others that will connect you with other people), then yeah, mental health professionals may be the next best thing.

I would also be really careful with experimental procedures, like ECT, because psychiatrists will often recommend that to the most vulnerable people when they are involuntary locked "care" and have no access to information. ECT kills brain cells and almost always causes severe long term memory impairment, and doctors always lie about this and say "sometimes" there is some memory impairment, but it "usually" comes back, and it's not true.

Honestly, if you are able to start jogging every day, take up a keto diet, and join any volunteer group (working in a homeless shelter, working at a food bank), I think you'd be better off. But the question is, are you too depressed to do these things? Because if you are, then mental health treatments may be a good option.

However, if your suicidal feelings are impulsive, and you're an impulsive person, and have the means to be impulsive, then forget everything I just said, because if there are methods near you that can be impulsively used, and you're an impulsive person, and you're a person with a low amount of natural fear, then yeah, maybe you should get help immediately.

I am also pretty biased against mental health professionals because of terrible experiences I've had. I've found that they seem nice, as long as they get paid, until you get locked up and can't leave, at which point they do whatever they want and treat you like shit. I personally regret getting treatment from mental health professionals, but then again, it's hard to know if I ended up living longer because of it. I generally feel like it was a huge waste of time and money.

Just please, unless you are imminently suicidal, and not on the fence at all, be aware of the costs involved in mental health care. Also, once you are getting mental health care, these people do not care about your financial wellness at all, they do not consider the link between financial wellness and happiness, and they sometimes take advantage of people and don't really offer a lot of value for the cost. You will never hear a mental health professional ask "How is your financial health? Do you think the benefits of doing this mental health treatment is worth the cost?"

So, yeah, you may want to start mental health treatment if you are too depressed to exercise every day, volunteer regularly, and do a keto diet. I mention the keto diet because it's anti-inflammatory and has shown some positive impact on people with mental health issues. So yeah, if you can't do those things, mental health treatment could be good, just make a budget, see what it costs, and also think about what your financial situation will look like if you don't commit suicide 10 years from now if you do get mental health treatment versus if you don't.

Ironically, I think there are a lot of people who are suicidal, but not so suicidal they would end it, and they end up wasting so much time and money on mental health professionals and drugs, some of which barely work, that in 10 years if they have a much much worse financial situation, they may actually be suicidal at that point due to financial desperation and wouldn't have been if they had just avoided mental health professionals. So just please, please budget this out, assess how suicidal and impulsive you are, and also, I'm not an expert on this, so you may want to ask others. My view on this could be completely wrong.

 

[meddle]

of course! you absolutely have to try to get help, buddy! suicide should be the last resort, since it is permanent and irreversible. so its better to try to get help before you commit. maybe youll feel better and change your mind about bus. maybe you wont, but the only way to find out is to try. and no one can deprive you of this option, you can always ctb later

 

[sleeplessboyinbed]

Absolutely yes.

I understand exactly what you're saying. My entire life I've covered up everything, believing I was beyond saving and I deserved this. So it came as a shock to my brother when he found me unconscious on the floor having consumed a shit ton of benzos.

It was worth getting help. The thoughts about suicide don't often go away, but they're less frequent and a lot weaker. If you haven't tried getting help ever, you can't know what could've been if you just did. I understand it's very hard, and the mental health system in some countries is kinda flawed. But seeking out professional help more often than not has more benefits than cons.

You think you're beyond saving, but your situation is not unique to what these medical professionals have faced. You believe you're beyond saving, but view it logically; a key consequence of depression is that you lose all hope and believe nothing will ever change. That's what depression is.

Frankly, you can't make the judgement that you're beyond saving if you've never tried being saved. I understand it can be daunting and seem pointless, but try. And REALLY try. Meds, therapy, whatever you feel like COULD help, try it, despite how little motivation you have to get better (which I'm sure you know is also cause of depression). <3

Thank you for replying :). Your comment is making me consider it. Maybe i should at least look up how to get help

 

[HopelessScientist]

SH mentioned
To explain my mental health status as it shows to people: I was always good at covering up my "weirdness" so i never got any mental health help. Never been to a doctor like that. I didn't even get caught with SH. Nobody irl knows anything, i look okay to everybody.
It's not like im unsure of my decision, but i read a lot of opinions, even on here, that i should try it (getting help). Personally, i think im beyond saving and nothing will help me. But something in me still wants to hear outside perspective. Will it make my life worse if i try to get help? And would my confidence in my decision to die impact my chances for getting better?

yes, 100% I don't know how popular this opinion here is, but I believe that ctb is only a valid option if you have tried to get help and failed multiple times.

Mental health conditions are absolutely treatable, sometimes it takes years, but people recover and get better. Depression lies to you, tells you you're hopeless, and since you have never been treated, how would you even know you're hopeless? I can't guarantee the first therapist will click with you, I cannot guarantee the first two meds will work on you but I promise you there's a chance, and you don't know what your chances are until you try. Over 60% of people recover from depression using mainstream treatments, ffs! A friend of mine felt hopeless like you, second medication she tries (venlafaxine), completely cured her depression, never came back.

After a few years, therapies, medications, if you still feel hopeless, then you should start thinking about ctb. There are those who go through medication after medication, therapy after therapy, who suffered for 10+ years, and in these cases, ctb is absolutely a rational option. I myself am one of these people, and have been referred to the most intensive level services to treat my depression. I'm waiting for that to fail before I ctb, then my whole heart will be on it.

 

[sleeplessboyinbed]

It's worth a shot, I think. Not much to lose anyway if you were already planning ctb. If you still want to ctb after trying to recover, at least you have tried everything. If you decide to try to get help, I hope the best for you

Thank you (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

 

[K14~♡]

I think this is something for you to decide. Ask yourself: is there a part of you that wanna keeps on living? A part of you that wishes for recovery? Do you think getting help would be worth it? If these are a yes, then trying to commit when the time comes might be difficult

Will it make my life worse if i try to get help?

Whether choosing recovery makes your life worse or not is something no one knows. This will also depend on you and whatever direction your life follows (By direction- hope that the help you asked for will actually help you TvT)

would my confidence in my decision to die impact my chances for getting better?

I think it might, depends on how it'll affect you. Based on what I've seen, the decision to ctb can make people feel like "Nothing matters cuz I'll be gone anyway." But for some others, they feel more motivated to live well before they go (Not sure if I'm misunderstanding this question but sorry if I am TT)

 

[sleeplessboyinbed]

During an attempt, the instinct to survive increases greatly. It's not a choice that happens because of not wanting to die, it's more like an instinct to breathe or the need to sneeze. So if you have any ambivalence about dying, if you aren't 100 percent sure you want to end it, it may be much harder to commit suicide than you think.

You seem at least slightly ambivalent to me. Slightly ambivalent people often don't get past survival instinct and that's part of the reason most suicide attempts fail.

I have no idea whether mental health professionals would be able to help you. Some people do have good experiences and get better as a result. My experiences were awful.

I think you're not ready to commit suicide and should do something to try to get better. I would be careful with mental health professionals because they never care about costs. So I would be very aware of what insurance covers, I would be very aware of what you say and the rules of where you live: if you are in a jurisdiction (or country) that doesn't cover involuntary care, you should be aware of that. For instance, if a 19 year old went to a therapist in the USA, and they used something like better health and expected to pay $500 total for some therapy sessions, and then if they said "Yep, I'm strongly considering suicide, have a plan, and could end things at any time," that 19 year old will likely get involuntarily hospitalized and may leave involuntary hospitalization with a 50,000 bill that will keep getting bigger with interest and either needs to be paid from any future wages or needs to be wiped out with bankruptcy. A bankruptcy means it's much, much harder to rent a place on your own if you are feeling better. It will make it harder to change cities if looking for a job. It will make it harder to buy a home if you wanted that.

So you may go from a situation where you were suicidal, and ambivalent and wouldn't have actually been able to ever commit suicide (since most suicides fail), to a situation where you are completely financially fucked. So just research the rules, research your insurance, and be aware that any mental health professional can involuntarily hospitalize you at any time if they feel like it's appropriate.

Regarding mental health psychotropic medications, some of them work only slightly better than a sugar pill, and sometimes people do get better with talk therapy and medication.

Often times, regular exercise (like jogging or hiking) has more of an anti-depressant effect than SSRIs, especially if you are doing ANY community activity that involves others (ie, volunteering, joining a group on meetup.com, etc). The problem is, if you are too depressed to exercise, and too depressed to do community activities (activities with others that will connect you with other people), then yeah, mental health professionals may be the next best thing.

I would also be really careful with experimental procedures, like ECT, because psychiatrists will often recommend that to the most vulnerable people when they are involuntary locked "care" and have no access to information. ECT kills brain cells and almost always causes severe long term memory impairment, and doctors always lie about this and say "sometimes" there is some memory impairment, but it "usually" comes back, and it's not true.

Honestly, if you are able to start jogging every day, take up a keto diet, and join any volunteer group (working in a homeless shelter, working at a food bank), I think you'd be better off. But the question is, are you too depressed to do these things? Because if you are, then mental health treatments may be a good option.

However, if your suicidal feelings are impulsive, and you're an impulsive person, and have the means to be impulsive, then forget everything I just said, because if there are methods near you that can be impulsively used, and you're an impulsive person, and you're a person with a low amount of natural fear, then yeah, maybe you should get help immediately.

I am also pretty biased against mental health professionals because of terrible experiences I've had. I've found that they seem nice, as long as they get paid, until you get locked up and can't leave, at which point they do whatever they want and treat you like shit. I personally regret getting treatment from mental health professionals, but then again, it's hard to know if I ended up living longer because of it. I generally feel like it was a huge waste of time and money.

Just please, unless you are imminently suicidal, and not on the fence at all, be aware of the costs involved in mental health care. Also, once you are getting mental health care, these people do not care about your financial wellness at all, they do not consider the link between financial wellness and happiness, and they sometimes take advantage of people and don't really offer a lot of value for the cost. You will never hear a mental health professional ask "How is your financial health? Do you think the benefits of doing this mental health treatment is worth the cost?"

So, yeah, you may want to start mental health treatment if you are too depressed to exercise every day, volunteer regularly, and do a keto diet. I mention the keto diet because it's anti-inflammatory and has shown some positive impact on people with mental health issues. So yeah, if you can't do those things, mental health treatment could be good, just make a budget, see what it costs, and also think about what your financial situation will look like if you don't commit suicide 10 years from now if you do get mental health treatment versus if you don't.

Ironically, I think there are a lot of people who are suicidal, but not so suicidal they would end it, and they end up wasting so much time and money on mental health professionals and drugs, some of which barely work, that in 10 years if they have a much much worse financial situation, they may actually be suicidal at that point due to financial desperation and wouldn't have been if they had just avoided mental health professionals. So just please, please budget this out, assess how suicidal and impulsive you are, and also, I'm not an expert on this, so you may want to ask others. My view on this could be completely wrong.

Your experience is what im scared about, that im going to get treated badly and get out worse that i was. Thank you for your advice about exercise and diet. I usually don't have motivation for this but if it can save me from being mistreated i might try it

I think this is something for you to decide. Ask yourself: is there a part of you that wanna keeps on living? A part of you that wishes for recovery? Do you think getting help would be worth it? If these are a yes, then trying to commit when the time comes might be difficult

Whether choosing recovery makes your life worse or not is something no one knows. This will also depend on you and whatever direction your life follows (By direction- hope that the help you asked for will actually help you TvT)

I think it might, depends on how it'll affect you. Based on what I've seen, the decision to ctb can make people feel like "Nothing matters cuz I'll be gone anyway." But for some others, they feel more motivated to live well before they go (Not sure if I'm misunderstanding this question but sorry if I am TT)

I think there is a part of me that wants to live. But it's the "animal" part of me. The illogical animal that is just scared of death :/. I hope you can understand what i mean

 

[owo]

yes

doesnt need to explain because already other did

 

[fadedghost]

Your experience is what im scared about, that im going to get treated badly and get out worse that i was. Thank you for your advice about exercise and diet. I usually don't have motivation for this but if it can save me from being mistreated i might try it

I would be more aware of the costs than the mistreatment. If you have insurance that covers things, including involuntary stays, or are in an area with free health care, you should be okay to get help. If you go into this unaware of costs at all, it's a risk.

You could give it a week and just see if you can exercise at least 5 out of 7 days, switch to a keto diet, and join a volunteer group or group on meetup.com and if you're too depressed to do that, just realize it's not an option. Also, don't get emotionally frustrated if you can't do it: don't go "well i can't exercise every day and i'm not able to do a keto diet, i'm just too messed up to get better" because often depressed people are less able to do things.

Mental health professionals usually don't treat you poorly until you get locked up. The problem is that if you say anything about being suicidal to them, they can lock you up, and once you mention suicide, they will constantly ask and probe to see if you are suicidal, and if you're a bad liar, you can end up hospitalized even if you planned to lie. Many mental health professionals are good at detecting bad liars and mid liars, so that can be problematic if you are intending to lie.

Another problem is if you don't get any benefit from mental health treatments, sometimes once you are in the system, it can be hard to leave it. In other words, if your family is in contact with them, if they diagnose something and say you have to take pills, if you said you sometimes feel suicidal but don't have a plan, and then if you say "I've decided not to do this anymore," they may express worry, they may get family involved to pressure you to stay on psych meds ("Your doctor says you need to be on this pill. If you want to stay in this home for now, you have to take those pills.") and also, once you are in the psychiatric system, you lose some independence, especially if you are a young person who is not financially sufficient.

If you see a psychiatrist, they WILL diagnose you with something. It's part of how they bill insurance. They almost never say "yep, this person is fine" because then insurance may not pay them. And any psychiatric diagnosis limits your ability to do things in this world. In the USA, for example, after a psychiatric diagnosis, you can never learn to fly a plane, you can't get jobs requiring a security clearance, you can't own a firearm for your own protection or for hunting, and in certain countries, you will always be in a database of people with mental health issues. Also, other laws may exist in the future that limit the rights of people with mental health issues. So in the future, you may not be able to get certain computer equipment or devices other people could get.

I would really absolutely try to exercise every single day and just see how you feel, and try the keto diet, and try volunteering because it will connect you with people and that connection decreases loneliness, which reduces depression. People with psychiatric diagnosis are second class citizens in many ways in society. If there's any way to avoid those labels, I would try to do it. A lot of times mental health professionals like psychologists simulate what it's like to be friends with someone, but that person is not your friend: if they get a job somewhere else and leave the area, they will not stay in contact with you. If they stop getting paid, they will not take your calls anymore. It isn't real. Real depression goes away by forging real connections and doing real things to create a life that you enjoy and like, as well as being healthy by exercising. Humans evolved over millions of years and during most of human evolution, humans exercised way more, they were outdoors more, and they also slept and "did nothing" more. They also lived in groups and modern society has made us much less connected. Society has made a lot of those things hard to do, but at least try to exercise.

Another thing to keep in mind is that there are multiple wars going on, and talks in some countries, like the USA, of a draft. So if you wouldn't want to fight in a war, and are young, psychiatric problems may keep you from being drafted, so depending on where you live, it may be better off to be a second class citizen who isn't drafted.

 

[Dot]

Thank you for replying :). Your comment is making me consider it. Maybe i should at least look up how to get help

How to Actually Do Therapy: Practical Advice from Ten Years of Navigating Psychiatric Care

Advice from Grippy Socks Veterans On How to Actually Do This Therapy Thing Hey, I'm Emi. I co-host a local self-help group and used to accompany struggling teens as a Peer Support Worker. My peers and I have noticed the interest in therapy spiking since COVID, and how we see the same therapy...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thred whch membr mde whch mght hlp u strt

Othrwse mke appointmnt wth ur GP or fnd a mentl helth charty locl 2 u & thy cn advse u

If ur othr altrn8tve = ctb thn = wld mke snse t/ try othr thngs 1st

 

[sleeplessboyinbed]

I would be more aware of the costs than the mistreatment. If you have insurance that covers things, including involuntary stays, or are in an area with free health care, you should be okay to get help. If you go into this unaware of costs at all, it's a risk.

You could give it a week and just see if you can exercise at least 5 out of 7 days, switch to a keto diet, and join a volunteer group or group on meetup.com and if you're too depressed to do that, just realize it's not an option. Also, don't get emotionally frustrated if you can't do it: don't go "well i can't exercise every day and i'm not able to do a keto diet, i'm just too messed up to get better" because often depressed people are less able to do things.

Mental health professionals usually don't treat you poorly until you get locked up. The problem is that if you say anything about being suicidal to them, they can lock you up, and once you mention suicide, they will constantly ask and probe to see if you are suicidal, and if you're a bad liar, you can end up hospitalized even if you planned to lie. Many mental health professionals are good at detecting bad liars and mid liars, so that can be problematic if you are intending to lie.

Another problem is if you don't get any benefit from mental health treatments, sometimes once you are in the system, it can be hard to leave it. In other words, if your family is in contact with them, if they diagnose something and say you have to take pills, if you said you sometimes feel suicidal but don't have a plan, and then if you say "I've decided not to do this anymore," they may express worry, they may get family involved to pressure you to stay on psych meds ("Your doctor says you need to be on this pill. If you want to stay in this home for now, you have to take those pills.") and also, once you are in the psychiatric system, you lose some independence, especially if you are a young person who is not financially sufficient.

If you see a psychiatrist, they WILL diagnose you with something. It's part of how they bill insurance. They almost never say "yep, this person is fine." And any psychiatric diagnosis limits your ability to do things in this world. In the USA, for example, after a psychiatric diagnosis, you can never learn to fly a plane, you can't get jobs requiring a security clearance, you can't own a firearm for your own protection or for hunting, and in certain countries, you will always be in a database of people with mental health issues. Also, other laws may exist in the future that limit the rights of people with mental health issues. So in the future, you may not be able to get certain computer equipment or devices other people could get.

I would really absolutely try to exercise every single day and just see how you feel, and try the keto diet, and try volunteering because it will connect you with people and that connection decreases loneliness, which reduces depression. People with psychiatric diagnosis are second class citizens in many ways in society. If there's any way to avoid those labels, I would try to do it. A lot of times mental health professionals like psychologists simulate what it's like to be friends with someone, but that person is not your friend: if they get a job somewhere else and leave the area, they will not stay in contact with you. If they stop getting paid, they will not take your calls anymore. It isn't real. Real depression goes away by forging real connections and doing real things to create a life that you enjoy and like, as well as being healthy by exercising. Humans evolved over millions of years and during most of human evolution, humans exercised way more, they were outdoors more, and they also slept and did nothing more. Society has made a lot of those things hard to do, but at least try to exercise.

Another thing to keep in mind is that there are multiple wars going on, and talks in some countries, like the USA, of a draft. So if you wouldn't want to fight in a war, and are young, psychiatric problems may keep you from being drafted, so depending on where you live, it may be better off to be a second class citizen who isn't drafted.

I tried doing the right things but i can never commit to it :(. Do you have any advice on how to not quit? I know i need to push myself and it's not going to be easy but i just seem unable to get up from bed these days

How to Actually Do Therapy: Practical Advice from Ten Years of Navigating Psychiatric Care

Advice from Grippy Socks Veterans On How to Actually Do This Therapy Thing Hey, I'm Emi. I co-host a local self-help group and used to accompany struggling teens as a Peer Support Worker. My peers and I have noticed the interest in therapy spiking since COVID, and how we see the same therapy...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thred whch membr mde whch mght hlp u strt

Othrwse mke appointmnt wth ur GP or fnd a mentl helth charty locl 2 u & thy cn advse u

If ur othr altrn8tve = ctb thn = wld mke snse t/ try othr thngs 1st

Thank you!

 

[Dot]

I tried doing the right things but i can never commit to it :(. Do you have any advice on how to not quit? I know i need to push myself and it's not going to be easy but i just seem unable to get up from bed these days

Online Support and Recovery Meeting Groups

Many people who cannot access or afford standard therapy might find some help in video meetings and classes with online support groups and organisations. This information is not designed to be a replacement for professional therapy but for many will also be much better than nothng. Some of...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thre r also specfc recvry grps onlne wth diffrnt pth-wys & u cn sty connctd & hlp kp ech-othr accountble

Also strt smll - smll changs r easr t/ kp goin thn tryn2 chnge urslf as persn ovrnght

Recvry = procss whch tkes learnng copng mechnsms & boundry-settng & emotnl xpressn & slf-cre s/ jst strt smll & srround urslf wth postvty whre u cn

 

[fadedghost]

I tried doing the right things but i can never commit to it :(. Do you have any advice on how to not quit? I know i need to push myself and it's not going to be easy but i just seem unable to get up from bed these days

No. If you aren't able to commit to it, your depression is too much for you to do those things and you have to accept reality: you're too depressed to do certain things that would decrease your depression.

So then pills and talk therapy may be good. Go do talk therapy and maybe take pills, you will be diagnosed as a second class citizen who has a disorder (probably Major Depressive Disorder) or worse, but that status may possibly save you from being drafted, and then as soon as you feel good enough to exercise and join a meetup.com group or volunteer, do that, and then switch to keto if you can.

Don't blame yourself for lacking "will power," as will power is controlled by chemical processes in the brain, and if your will power isn't enough to exercise, mental health treatments are the logical next step.

Just be aware that if you mention suicide at all, the risk of being locked up gets much much higher. Be aware of what your insurance covers or costs involved. But an SSRI may be appropriate if it can help you exercise. If it's possible at all to get that without being diagnosed as having Major Depressive Disorder (like if you can get it from a General Practitioner and not a psych doctor and get it without a psych diagnosis, you're better off; the second-class status comes from the disorder, not the medication, and some doctors may understand that; ie, if you say "I don't think I technically have major depressive disorder, but I am too sad to exercise and would like to try an SSRI to see if it could help me exercise more" probably a lot of general doctors would give it to you without the mental health diagnosis, but I'm not sure).

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

Yes absolutely. I think everybody should.

 

[K14~♡]

I think there is a part of me that wants to live. But it's the "animal" part of me. The illogical animal that is just scared of death :/. I hope you can understand what i mean

Yep I understand. I used to feel like this too before I realized there are things that make me wanna continue life (but I'm still considering ctb...)

Anyway, I wonder if you also think that continuing to live is also illogical in your case. But you said you're considering getting help which should be enough reason to live? Ig I'm just thinking about what could give you strength to stay through each day if you do choose recovery. I hope it won't be that unbearable for you <3

 

[Redacted.Audio]

Attempting to seek help is almost always worth it in my opinion, some people may believe they are too far gone but, in reality there are things that can be done. It depends on the person, but seeking help wouldn't hurt if you're already committed to, well, catching the bus. As said previously, if you mention suicide the likelyhood you will be prevented from ctb is a lot higher than just seeking help in general

 

[fadedghost]

Thre r also specfc recvry grps onlne wth diffrnt pth-wys & u cn sty connctd & hlp kp ech-othr accountble

This is a great point. I've never heard of those groups, but if they exist, that may help a lot.

Also, any exercise is better than no exercise, and sometimes you need to find the exercise that you like. So maybe you hate running and it's boring, but you like riding a bicycle or an e-scooter (wear a helmet and knee pads with either), or maybe you prefer sport activities, or maybe you want to do yoga in your room, or maybe you prefer sailing or rowing, or maybe you like hiking. Just try different things and find what exercise you like. You could get paid to be a dog walker and get money and exercise at the same time. You could deliver food and that sometimes involves parking and walk. Just try to do ANYTHING and ANYTHING is better than nothing, so even if you can only do this on occasion, it's better than nothing. Anything to exercise more, and if you can't exercise at all, it's okay. You may be too depressed to exercise and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[meddle]

Your experience is what im scared about, that im going to get treated badly and get out worse that i was. Thank you for your advice about exercise and diet. I usually don't have motivation for this but if it can save me from being mistreated i might try it

or you can be treated fine, this is also an option. i was involuntary commited after my attempt and my psych ward was completely normal. not a 5 stars hotel, but it was ok. no one was ever rude or disrespectful to me. and mind you its in russia (or should i say more precisely in moscow, i guess psych wards which are not in moscow suck)

and you are not going to be commited if you highlight that you have no plan or intent

 

[Redacted.Audio]

Yes absolutely. I think everybody should.

I wholeheartedly agree, everyone should at least attempt to find help

 

[sleeplessboyinbed]

Yep I understand. I used to feel like this too before I realized there are things that make me wanna continue life (but I'm still considering ctb...)

Anyway, I wonder if you also think that continuing to live is also illogical in your case. But you said you're considering getting help which should be enough reason to live? Ig I'm just thinking about what could give you strength to stay through each day if you do choose recovery. I hope it won't be that unbearable for you <3

Yes i think that. Because when i hypothesize about what my future will look like, the only logical solution is ctb :⁠-⁠[. Thank you, you're so kind (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

or you can be treated fine, this is also an option. i was involuntary commited after my attempt and my psych ward was completely normal. not a 5 stars hotel, but it was ok. no one was ever rude or disrespectful to me. and mind you its in russia (or should i say more precisely in moscow, i guess psych wards which are not in moscow suck)

and you are not going to be commited if you highlight that you have no plan or intent

Im from a post Soviet country too, not from a capital city. Do you think me being queer will worsen my experience? Should i stay in the closet to get help?

 

[meddle]

Im from a post Soviet country too, not from a capital city. Do you think me being queer will worsen my experience? Should i stay in the closet to get help?

oh, i am so sorry you can be discriminated for being queer it can totally happen, especially since you are not from capital city. maybe its possible to find list of queer friendly specialists from your country? and if there is someone from your city, i would totally choose them. the young ones are usually more understanding. but if there are no such lists or no available specialists, then i would go to any specialist, but i probably wouldnt tell them about being queer

 

[Dot]

This is a great point. I've never heard of those groups, but if they exist, that may help a lot.

Thy r all listd in th/ lnk on tht pst - thre r lts of gd 1nes s/ = wrth lookng thru

Am alwys havng mre addd if cn fnd thm bt hve hd lss Nergy in recnt mnths

 

[Off_Switch]

What kind of help will really make this place any more bearable, though? The wealth gap is about to widen to historic levels, an AI apocalypse is almost inevitable, and the billionaires are the only people left on this planet that haven't de-evolved yet. At least not intellectually. It's over for us regular people. It's never going to get better. Only worse. I want out of this nasty, stressful place.

 

[fadedghost]

Im from a post Soviet country too, not from a capital city.

Rainbow Railroad | We help LGBTQI+ people get to safety

In countries around the world, LGBTQI+ people face violence and oppression simply because of who they are. We help them get to safety.

www.rainbowrailroad.org

If you are gay and in a homophobic country, that's probably the main reason you are suicidal.

Find a way to get out. Go study somewhere less homophobic and then marry someone, anyone, and try to stay there.

Don't spend your money going on psych drugs when you are depressed because of homophobic people around you. FIND ANY WAY YOU CAN AND LEAVE.

 

[redsendtend]

SH mentioned
To explain my mental health status as it shows to people: I was always good at covering up my "weirdness" so i never got any mental health help. Never been to a doctor like that. I didn't even get caught with SH. Nobody irl knows anything, i look okay to everybody.
It's not like im unsure of my decision, but i read a lot of opinions, even on here, that i should try it (getting help). Personally, i think im beyond saving and nothing will help me. But something in me still wants to hear outside perspective. Will it make my life worse if i try to get help? And would my confidence in my decision to die impact my chances for getting better?

If you get help and it does not work, then you feel more confident to commit suicide.

If you get help and it does work, then you feel more confident to keep living.

A win-win scenario.

 

[madwoman]

My first thought - absolutely yes try to get help. CTB is a big decision that imo is a personal one but someone should explore all avenues and really think about it bc there's no coming back from it. So many people may have suicidal thoughts but recover, so many sh but get better. Why not try? I guess there's a lot of posters probably saying the same thing, I did not read through them. But I think you owe it to yourself to give life your best shot and take things one day at a time. Best of luck to you and sorry for your pain