Help Should I tell my supports I'm suicidal?

[Volser]

Currently progressing through the steps to get formally diagnosed by a psychiatrist. Saw a nurse today, had me make a "plan for safety" form. Some of the specifics of the form are about as useful as a suicide hotline, i.e., not really that helpful in my opinion. But part of it is supports to call when you're in crisis or something for help.

I haven't told any of these people I'm suicidal yet, maybe someday when I (hopefully) feel a lot better I'll tell them either way, but for now I'm trying to spare them the pain. They do know I'm struggling mentally, so they just don't know the full extent of it.

The question is, should I tell them soon, so that I'm not dropping a bomb on them if I need to call them? Or should I hold off, spare them the pain, and if I need to call them, talk around suicidal elements? For the record I think they could make me feel better without knowing I'm suicidal, I'm well off enough that just an "it'll be okay" goes a long way.

 

[Loaf of bread]

I wouldnt recommend discussing being suicidal, as the help and intervention about suicide tends to be very forceful and unhelpful depending on the country (though seems to be most countries).

If you mention being suicidal, that massively increases risk of being put inpatient or psych ward, which can be traumatizing and highly unhelpful.

If you mention SN or whatever bus ticket, that could result in confiscation and inpatient stuff like that. They could also make you sign horrible "safety plans" which increase risk of inpatient and might encourage disposing stuff that may cause harm (SN or even knives and bleach). Or having someone check up on you very regularly. Certainly read the fine print of any safety plans and similar to check, and decline if neccessary.

Also be wary of mentioning suicidality to hotlines and supports, if you mention CTB they can trace you and send a team to put you inpatient. Same caution applies there. Same caution applies everywhere, I advise against mentioning being suicidal anywhere except SS, but its up to you.

Blah blah blah. Point is, mentioning being suicidal is high risk, low reward. I'd prefer not to mention it, especially if you can do just fine without it.

Of course it depends on the country. And its all your choice. Its up to you.

Whatever the case, I hope all goes well for you whatever happens.

 

[cotton]

Mention it, you could be locked down, don't mention, you could deal with it internally..

Neither route is good. But SaSu is pretty safe

 

[Life_and_Death]

depending on what country youre in (some being more strict/harsh than others and probably who you have) it depends on how you word it.

word it gently, in the past tense, 'you dont want to. youre looking for help' kind of thing.
the key word is "a danger" if youre not presently in danger to yourself or others, youre cool.
it is possible to tell someone youre suicidal without getting locked up, it can just be a slippery slope of word play
(someone i knew use to say i have a stack of monopoly get out of jail free cards lol)

 

[Jack_Nimble]

I think Volser is saying they've already discussed it with professionals in healthcare. But not the friends and family he has listed on the safety plan the professionals insisted and helped him to create.

Please correct me if I'm wrong. The rest of my comment is assuming the above stated is a correct understanding.

I would def consider telling your supports while you're not in crisis before you reach a point of crisis. This can def be challenging for them to hear. As it can be for you to tell them.

There is only one thing I can think of to help ease such a revelation in conversation. Many people falsely believe that talking about suicide with a depressed or suicidal person can increase their odds of committing suicide. This isn't just wrong, but instead the opposite is true. You could maybe say something like 'While this is difficult for me to talk about. You can rest assured it's helpful for people like me to talk about it, not harmful." See myth number one in the following link for more details.

Debunking Three Popular Myths About Suicide

Of the conversations Julie Manuel has at the Kettering Health Behavioral Medical Center, some of the most difficult are with those considering suicide.

ketteringhealth.org

As for discussing it with professionals goes. In my experience in a hospital or medical DR setting simply saying you're suicidal and have thought of a way will be considered a plan and get ya hospitalized. It's no fun and mentally doesn't help unless you think you might actually do it. Then it'll ensure you don't for a short time, days to weeks.

In a therapist setting most therapists will tell you upfront in the first session they won't have you hospitalized unless you say you're actually planning on doing it for sure. Especially if you've chosen a date to do so.