Help Should I really CTB.?

[masochisticsorrow]

I just don't feel like there's no life to live.
I have a wonderful boyfriend who depends on me, I'm worried that if I attempt he will ctb aswell.
I don't wanna ruin his family's lives, I don't want my death to be his reason.
My family will be hurt, but I've watched them recover from death so many times, so I don't think I'll hurt them too much. My future seems pointless. I have this constant thought that everyone's going to leave me, and I'm sure they will. My day consists of being in my room alone, and that's it. I'm not important, I'm a nobody. I honestly think people would be better off without me, because all I've ever done is ruin everything and everyone around me. My cat has my cousin, so she'll be okay. Once I've figured out my method I'll keep it in mind, but I just don't want my bf to be hurt. I genuinely have no purpose, I have no life. I just want to stop, I want to finally be free. I can't stand this anymore.

 

[dimgobaith]

Only you can answer the question of should you ctb. I have asked myself the same question, so far my answer for my situation is yes. It may not be something I want to do but something I have to do